What is the secret to understanding women?

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mr_bigmouth_502
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07 Jun 2015, 7:18 am

This is something nearly all men have been wanting to know for millennia. Yes, even NT men. What is it about the opposite sex that makes it so perplexing to us? You'd think we'd have it figured out by now. Are we just too simplistic to comprehend the complex nature of the fairer sex?



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07 Jun 2015, 7:51 am

Hmmm... I don't think I'm that complex. :P


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07 Jun 2015, 8:06 am

I don't think we are suppose to be able to figure it out.

Sort of like those perplexing math problems that actually don't have known solutions. I remember and EE101 test question like that.



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07 Jun 2015, 8:11 am

Honestly, and I say that without remorse, I ended up finding them very predictable.

I personally see women differ only per community (and still the majority of women in the world have a lot in common) when it comes to what they like in men, within the same community they copycat a lot of each other, in a hive-like minds; understand one and you understand them all. You are either seen desirable by the vast majority of a community or you're not.

Determine of which community she is, and you can start to predict what she's like and she likes.


Check this:
http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=285005

and check Janissy's post:
http://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic ... &start=105

I personally see outlier women are much rarer than outlier men - and not all of them in a good way. Also I see men are more diversified in what they like in women, even when it comes to looks. However, an average man usually doesn't have the luxury to be too picky, so he usually goes with the flow and takes the chance with any woman who happens to like him.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 07 Jun 2015, 8:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
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07 Jun 2015, 8:15 am

I genuinely think that it's a lack of communication between the sexes. We're told as we grow up that we are just sooo different and you hear grown ups saying things like, "Oh typical men doing x,y,z" and "Ugh women are crazy". I think that we are told it so often that we start to believe it and regard the opposite sex as this mysterious other species.

I genuinely think that we all just need to spend more time together. We should not be scared to talk to each other.

It seems that too often when I'm out I see groups of guys hanging together and talking and groups of women hanging together talking, but they aren't interacting between sexes. We need to stop treating each other like aliens.

Women seem to be encouraged by older women to play games and that's not right. It's our culture that's messed up, it's not neccessarily that we are so totally different that we are not able to understand one another.

As a women I would say that all I'm looking for is a man that I can feel comfortable talking to and someone who takes an interest in me. Like the guy I've just given up on is one of the nicest people you will ever meet, but he's just not interested in spending time with me. I've tried to include him in my life, I've initiated conversations, I've started Facebook conversations with him, but he's just never bothered to try and bridge the gap himself, so I'd say if you're interested in someone, just make the effort to spend some time with her and listen to her.



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07 Jun 2015, 8:18 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Honestly, and I say that without remorse, I ended up finding them very predictable.

I personally see women differ only per community (and still the majority of women in the world have a lot in common) when it comes to what they like in men, within the same community they copycat a lot of each other, in a hive-like minds; understand one and you understand them all. You are either seen desirable by the vast majority of a community or you're not.

Determine of which community she, and you can start to predict what she's like and she likes.


Check this:
viewtopic.php?t=285005

and check Janissy's post:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=285005&start=105

I personally see outlier women are much rarer than outlier men - and not all of them in a good way. Also I see men are more diversified in what they like in women, even when it comes to looks. However, an average man usually doesn't have the luxury to be too picky, so he usually goes with the flow and takes the chance with any woman who happens to like him.


Honestly, I find this a little bit offensive. I am not exactly like every other woman in my community.

When I said I'm not that complex, I didn't mean to imply what was said here.


I meant that, if asked a question, I'll answer it truthfully--I don't play games. I honestly don't even know myself that well to predict every response I'd ever make! It's a moving target! Every person is.

I think the best way to figure out a woman is to ask that woman questions.


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So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well


kraftiekortie
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07 Jun 2015, 8:23 am

It's best to strive to understand the individual woman, rather than the collective known as "women."

Just like it's absurd to base one's decision not to date upon studies which states that "among so-and-so a group, only 25% have relationships."



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07 Jun 2015, 8:30 am

I spent my whole adult life being a woman, and I still don't understand us. :P



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Jun 2015, 8:39 am

screen_name wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Honestly, and I say that without remorse, I ended up finding them very predictable.

I personally see women differ only per community (and still the majority of women in the world have a lot in common) when it comes to what they like in men, within the same community they copycat a lot of each other, in a hive-like minds; understand one and you understand them all. You are either seen desirable by the vast majority of a community or you're not.

Determine of which community she, and you can start to predict what she's like and she likes.


Check this:
viewtopic.php?t=285005

and check Janissy's post:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=285005&start=105

I personally see outlier women are much rarer than outlier men - and not all of them in a good way. Also I see men are more diversified in what they like in women, even when it comes to looks. However, an average man usually doesn't have the luxury to be too picky, so he usually goes with the flow and takes the chance with any woman who happens to like him.


Honestly, I find this a little bit offensive. I am not exactly like every other woman in my community.


And honestly, how many of the other women in your community you see act similarly? Do you generally click with other women?

Just as a tiny example; the other day me and my buddies noticed 5 snobbish-looking girls in a festival, and when they took a photo; they all went duckface together in the same moment - all of their poses were in great synchronization, so crazy. :lol: and we wondered and discussed why a such copycat behavior doesn't exist that much and that strongly among guy.

It is not really that unfair for the majority of your gender, to say that the "Copycat" is strong among them; and it doesn't stop at the way to pose for a photo but to many other things, including to the types and traits in guys seen as desirable, totally shaped by the influence of the other surrounding women within the same community.


So that's about it, bigmouth_502, that's the real secret of women.



MjrMajorMajor
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07 Jun 2015, 9:51 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
I spent my whole adult life being a woman, and I still don't understand us. :P


Ditto.

Face_Of_Boo wrote:
I personally see women differ only per community (and still the majority of women in the world have a lot in common) when it comes to what they like in men, within the same community they copycat a lot of each other, in a hive-like minds; understand one and you understand them all.



So are we insects or Borg? :P



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07 Jun 2015, 10:04 am

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
lostonearth35 wrote:
I spent my whole adult life being a woman, and I still don't understand us. :P


Ditto.

Face_Of_Boo wrote:
I personally see women differ only per community (and still the majority of women in the world have a lot in common) when it comes to what they like in men, within the same community they copycat a lot of each other, in a hive-like minds; understand one and you understand them all.



So are we insects or Borg? :P


Star wars clone troopers :p.

The manly-shaped suits were just for deception.



androbot01
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07 Jun 2015, 12:12 pm

The "othering" of women that is enjoyed by some men is not productive. Personally I don't understand men or women until I get to know them. And sometimes my presumptions have been way off.
Men, try to remember that women are also people.



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07 Jun 2015, 12:25 pm

Understanding women, or understanding a particular woman ? Every single individual woman on this planet is not the same, yet some may have similar qualities or characteristics that are similar to one another. In time, you might be able to better understand a woman/women, but you may never be able to fully understand them. I believe that this particular form of understanding will remain one of the "great" mysteries of our existence.


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07 Jun 2015, 7:40 pm

I had a very hard time understanding NT women because they don't say what they mean or mean what they say. But I didn't have that problem with Aspie women because they were more direct & straightforward with me. My problem is I'm too direct & straightforward for typical women.


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08 Jun 2015, 6:51 am

In my experience, the best way to understand women (in general) is to understand they are human but are not men. Most of the time, they are just like us guys but there are situations where they want us to show our masculinity. It's a balancing act between being dominant and abusive.

I agree though that every woman is different. What I always found was that women became attracted when I made a bold move like kissing them or showed leadership qualities. Women might be independent but they generally like a guy who is powerful but can take care of them and keep them emotionally and physically safe. Again it cannot be overemphasized that a)woman are just people and b)they should be seen as individuals, not as a collective.



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08 Jun 2015, 8:11 am

hurtloam wrote:
I genuinely think that it's a lack of communication between the sexes. We're told as we grow up that we are just sooo different and you hear grown ups saying things like, "Oh typical men doing x,y,z" and "Ugh women are crazy". I think that we are told it so often that we start to believe it and regard the opposite sex as this mysterious other species.

I genuinely think that we all just need to spend more time together. We should not be scared to talk to each other.

It seems that too often when I'm out I see groups of guys hanging together and talking and groups of women hanging together talking, but they aren't interacting between sexes. We need to stop treating each other like aliens.

Women seem to be encouraged by older women to play games and that's not right. It's our culture that's messed up, it's not neccessarily that we are so totally different that we are not able to understand one another.

As a women I would say that all I'm looking for is a man that I can feel comfortable talking to and someone who takes an interest in me. Like the guy I've just given up on is one of the nicest people you will ever meet, but he's just not interested in spending time with me. I've tried to include him in my life, I've initiated conversations, I've started Facebook conversations with him, but he's just never bothered to try and bridge the gap himself, so I'd say if you're interested in someone, just make the effort to spend some time with her and listen to her.



There's no lack of spending time together, there are many groups of both genders who hang out there; but when both genders are present, there always seem to be red lines....taboos that are not to be talked about in the presence of the other gender, especially when it comes to sexual stuff.
ie. She in a group of guys and girls: "So yeah...the other night I felt horny, so I masturbated a lot and now it feels sore".

Nope, that rarely exists.