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Rudin
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07 Jun 2015, 6:37 pm

I have Aspergers as many of you do, this makes it hard to talk to people and understand if they are serious or not.

I was on the bus, a girl I have a crush on was talking about how I used to talk non-stop about mathematics and other things I enjoyed. She then told me I don't talk as much anymore (which is good because she didn't really like me then) and asked me if she wanted me to be here friend, I said yes but then she started laughing with her friend and asking me more questions about our "friendship" afterwards.

Was she being for real? What do I do next?


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Waterfalls
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07 Jun 2015, 7:30 pm

I would be very cautious about trusting in this situation. What is special about her that you have a crush?



Rudin
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07 Jun 2015, 7:33 pm

I find that her personality and looks are attractive to me. She isn't bitchy and annoying like everyone else and is nice to me, she also doesn't look too bad either.


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"God may not play dice with the universe, but something strange is going on with prime numbers."

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"There are two types of cryptography in this world: cryptography that will stop your kid sister from looking at your files, and cryptography that will stop major governments from reading your files."

-Bruce Schneider


Waterfalls
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07 Jun 2015, 8:21 pm

I guess I just wonder why she would be asking questions about the friendship. She could be playing with you, or she could just be trying to clarify. I don't know what it means, I'm sorry. But after many years of being easily played with, I would proceed very cautiously. If she wants to do something and if you have friends, I would try to make it a group thing just because it seems less risky. And, even if she's curious about you, that's not necessarily bad. She might get to know you and really like you, you just have to determine if she wants to get to know you.



Densaugeo
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08 Jun 2015, 11:05 am

That's...really confusing.

When I don't know what's going on I try to reply with (inoffensive) humor. That usually at least avoids conflicts.



Waterfalls
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08 Jun 2015, 10:09 pm

Densaugeo wrote:
That's...really confusing.

When I don't know what's going on I try to reply with (inoffensive) humor. That usually at least avoids conflicts.

I'm sorry I was confusing.

Inoffensive humor sounds great!!



Densaugeo
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08 Jun 2015, 11:50 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
Densaugeo wrote:
That's...really confusing.

When I don't know what's going on I try to reply with (inoffensive) humor. That usually at least avoids conflicts.

I'm sorry I was confusing.

Inoffensive humor sounds great!!


Not you! The girl Rudin was talking about.



Waterfalls
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09 Jun 2015, 6:09 am

Densaugeo wrote:
Waterfalls wrote:
Densaugeo wrote:
That's...really confusing.

When I don't know what's going on I try to reply with (inoffensive) humor. That usually at least avoids conflicts.

I'm sorry I was confusing.

Inoffensive humor sounds great!!


Not you! The girl Rudin was talking about.

People often complain I'm confusing, I'm glad I wasn't.



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09 Jun 2015, 6:26 am

What questions did she ask?

(So far, I'm thinking she was not "for real" and was making a joke at your expense...but if you give us more to go on, it would help.)


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Summer_Twilight
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18 Jun 2015, 9:25 am

Rudin wrote:
I have Aspergers as many of you do, this makes it hard to talk to people and understand if they are serious or not.

I was on the bus, a girl I have a crush on was talking about how I used to talk non-stop about mathematics and other things I enjoyed. She then told me I don't talk as much anymore (which is good because she didn't really like me then) and asked me if she wanted me to be here friend, I said yes but then she started laughing with her friend and asking me more questions about our "friendship" afterwards.

Was she being for real? What do I do next?



I don't really know what the situation looksand I have never met her but she sounds really phony. What types of questions did she ask you?



Summer_Twilight
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18 Jun 2015, 9:31 am

Rudin wrote:
I have Aspergers as many of you do, this makes it hard to talk to people and understand if they are serious or not.

I was on the bus, a girl I have a crush on was talking about how I used to talk non-stop about mathematics and other things I enjoyed. She then told me I don't talk as much anymore (which is good because she didn't really like me then) and asked me if she wanted me to be here friend, I said yes but then she started laughing with her friend and asking me more questions about our "friendship" afterwards.

Was she being for real? What do I do next?



I don't really know what the situation looks and I have never met her but she sounds really phony. I have met other people like that. What kinds of questions did she ask?



hilaryy_renee_
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18 Jun 2015, 9:53 am

From the description that you provided about this situation, it truthfully does not seem like she is "for real." She could be playing you, which is a high possibility. Like others here have previously mentioned, what kind of questions did she ask you ?


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nouedis
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18 Jun 2015, 1:13 pm

Dude, after being in that situation multiple times and being played with, I can definitely guarantee you that she's just messing with you. She's just pulling your string. Don't take her too seriously, but have fun with it if she's trying to get to know you.



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30 Jun 2015, 9:56 pm

"She started laughing with her friend" is the clincher. I don't think she is sincere and u should be cautious with her. Also, a forum of people on the spectrum may not be the best place to get advice on social issues. Is there anyone in your life who cares about you who you can talk to about these situations?



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01 Jul 2015, 12:01 pm

I'm suspicious about the friend being present. She could have been making fun of you but also she could have been nervous and was laughing with her friend as cover to make herself feel better.

I am a neurotypical person and my husband is an aspie. He made me really nervous when we first met because he was so smart and cool. I felt inadequate in comparison to him so I'd try harder to act cool which I'm sure came off pretty foolish.

Can you try to talk to her alone, just about her interests, and see how she acts then?