Is depression forever?

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I have diagnosed depression and have been suffering from it for 35 years. I take anti-depressants and they keep me alive. I'm a self-harmer and have attempted suicide several times. These days I am stable but not happy. I see in another thread how some people believe that medication is a bandaid and the real problem is left untreated.
I think however that perhaps the real problem can't be fixed. It's like I know too much to ever be made happy by what life has to offer. Everything seems like a play to me, everyone actors, pretending things are good while the Titanic sinks. But I know some people are happy and I think I was once. I'm just not sure can get back there.
So has anyone recovered from traumatic life experiences that had left them depressed?

big D is Hell!

I wish you were free.

Thanks.

The grinding empty and lonely feeling in my gut is wearing me down.

My psychiatrist last week asked if I thought I should be hospitalized because I have thoughts of shooting myself in the head. I declined. Been there, done that. I asked if he could fiddle with my antidepressants and he increased the effexor by 75mg. I have yet to see the effect but its only been 2 days.

I feel like I'm in heavy water and I don't want to move because I'll sink more.

I have problems with Seasonal Affective Disorder. Also, the way my life has been going lately (vasculitis, colitis, locking myself out of my room, and having to bounce a check fo 95.00 for a locksmith to pop the lock, only because I keep my meds in my room, obsessing on how I'm going to get The money to fix my car, so it can pass PA state inspection, issues with a leech of a roommate, etc), you'd be in a bad and foul mood yourself!

I'm sorry to hear that, Meistersinger. I'm in a financial pickle myself. I seem always to be in debt. Money management is beyond me, but frankly I don't trust people who are good with money. It seems to take a certain heartlessness.

I did but without medications and all that, I think it's something mental/spiritual and not medical

I like this video, I think it gives a good explanation.

I have depressions regularily and have had for many years.
I might not have a happy personality but I was fine until I ended up with an abusive husband. He wore me down through the years (psychologically violence is not nessissarily something the victim notices at first). I am out of that marriage now but ended up with major depressions. I think mine were triggered by circumstances and not my own inner self, therefore I do not think meds would have helped. I have never taken anything and have never mentioned to doctors etc. that I have depression (They have been very severe, some of them). I would be to risky as depression carries great stigma and I risk that my ex. would try and take the children away from me if he ever found out (various athorities could also get the idea that it is impossible to look after children and be depressed at the same time - nobody would ever look at who/what made me deprssed).
So depending on circumstances some people are helped by medicine and some are not. We can never judge what is best for other people

I'm not a religious person, Ann.

But if you are able to find something "spiritual" which offsets your depression, by all means go for it!

I won't argue you down about it.

I don't necessarily feel spirituality and religion are connected, myself. I'm an atheist, but I consider myself a very spiritual person.

On the subject of depression and meds, I began taking an anti-depressant earlier this year when my depression became a bit severe. To be honest, I can't say for sure whether it's done much good -- I'm still struggling. I feel like I'm in state of limbo, at the moment, but there's not too much I can do about that situation, since they were thrust upon my out of sense of duty to my ailing mother. Trying to find happiness in simple things helps me quite a lot. Reading gets me through a lot of dark days.

Finding happiness in small Things helps me as well!
Finding a nice spot in the spring sun, say hello to a puppy, seing a beautiful flower, a fantastic sunset. All these Things are free and can bring a glimmer of joy in your life. It won´t heal a depression but bring a slight healing.

this was the link I ment depression is a black dog

I have also learned that it is no use to stick to the silly notions you get when depressed. I get stubborn and deside harmfull Things. I am learning to let this go when I get better (e.g. deciding I never need any nice clothes again and throw it all out. I have learned not to act on those impulses).

I know the dastardly damn drudgery called D.

One thing I do is I'll take a beauty day.

I go online and find things that are beautiful to me, flowers, baby animals, beaches, fine art nudes, macros of insects, etc....

I find anything visually that I like and I bombard my mind with it...saturate my mind with anything natural, geometric forms, ANYTHING that isn't dark.

Sometimes I'll watch videos of babies laughing just to force my mind to see that joy and beauty exist.

Of course it isn't a solution...BUT I'll catch myself smiling...isn't that worth it?

I think its hard to come out of depression if you have no one to support you, which is the case most of the time due to stigma. So it only comes down to your willpower, that survival instinct.