Eye contact solution (for me, at least)

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Hi everyone, I'm new here, just thought I'd pass on this info since I saw a lot of threads about eye contact problems...

I started standing infront of a mirror and stared into my eyes, without zoning out or looking "past" my face. then smiled every so often and tried hard not to freak out... yea, I had problems looking at myself in a mirror too, I'm not ugly or anything, just.. "avoidant" of faces. At first it was really hard to do, I even locked the bathroom door and ran water to help easy my conscious. But after doing this for a minute or so every time I went to the bathroom for a couple weeks, I started having a lot more facial/eye contact with people and not even realizing at first that I was much better at it!

this technique really helped me improve eye contact and feel less weird during conversations.. I hope this helps someone.

Welcome to WP, and thanks for the suggestion.

My eye contact with other people is variable - some people are easier to look at than others. I still find that looking into my own eyes in the mirror is still a pretty shocking and uncomfortable experience.

I have some eye contact solution, but I don't really wear contacts much anymore so I don't use it. That and the drops always miss my eyes... grr.

I find that eye contact bugs me when i'm not actually talking to people and they look at me. When i'm talking to someone it's alot easier but still sometimes it feels like "they can read my mind and see what i'm thinking!! ! What do I do, what do I do??! !!". It's like a state of panic.

I REALY CANT AT ALL AND MIRRORS ARE A TOTTLY STIM FOR ME SO WHEN WITH PEOPLE THERE LIKE THE MIRROR POLICE .I TRY TO LOOK AT THERE SHIRT OR WHAT EVER MY BF WILL TRY AND GET ME TO LOOK AT HIOM BUT HE KNOW IT REALLY HARD .I CANT TALK AND LOOK AT SOMEONE AT SAME TIME IT TO MUCH SENCOREY INPUT

Hey, that's a good idea, dink. I've gotten quite freaked out by looking at myself in the mirror a couple times, but I never thought of using it as a tool to get used to eye contact.

My main problem is when I am walking around campus. I often see people I took one class with and untill I pass them I sweat and can't decide whether to look them in the eyes and smile, say hi, pass by, or talk to them. It seems that every day this happens to me at least once.

By the way Hi every first post
I am 15 undiagnosed and was referred here after talking to some one online for a while.

I have sort of a two-layer problem with eye contact:

1. I experience GREAT anxiety when looking into someone's eyes for more than just a semi-glance.

2. Visually I want to look at the mouth to understand what the person is saying. I have noticed a difference in my auditory comprehension when I do not look at the other person's mouth.

I've had it suggested to me on another forum to look at the other person's eyebrows. It's pretty much indistinguishable from the other person's perspective, but a *lot* less painful for the autistic.

And I'm like Sophist in that I comprehend things a lot better when lip reading is thrown into the equation.

Bridge of the nose is the best point. Its static but people will think ur lookin at their eyes.

I have no problem making eye contact with myself in a mirror.

I find it easy to make eye contact in group settings. But it is another story one-on-one. When I am talking one-on-one with someone, I look at the floor and shift my eyes all about the room: the ceiling, the left wall, the right wall, the person over there, the back wall, the floor, etc. I find it easiest to talk to someone when we are side-by-side, because then I can gaze unwaveringly forward (I don't blink as much as normal people) without having to look at their face. I have occasionally made direct one-on-one eye contact for about three seconds, but it freaked me out.

I can have eye contact with myself in the mirror, but I have trouble making eye-contact with somebody else... I look to their mouhs and they don't notice (or I think so at least, so...)

I used to try to look "through" people when I was younger, by looking in the direction of their eyes but focussing on whatever was behind them. I thought I was getting away with it until one afternoon my friend mentioned how obvious it was. There were two problems with my solution: (1) I went from avoiding eye contact to something that resembled a penetrating stare, and (2) it was too static. NTs move their gaze constantly, and even when they are making eye contact they move the focus around the face and look at each eye separately in a fairly quick cycle.

I remember this was a big problem for me. I remember my fifth grade teacher always tried to draw my eye contact from me, and I tried to look, but every moment I thought, 'Am I looking in the right way? Am I looking for too long? Not enough?'. She's asking me how I'm feeling and I was paranoid about how I was looking at her. I still remember how terrified I was at any given moment in that class.

Now it's less of a problem, because I think people pick up that my social skills ain't exactly top notch. I think they understand that I'm a bit shy, but that I try to connect. I think I actually look too much into their eyes, or too deeply.

But I definitely recognise some of the avoidance techniques others have listed.

I have never liked eye contact, it is intrusive, inquisitive and aggressive. It is only about asserting a role in a power struggle and I really cannot be bothered with dealing with those sorts of people.

I have not been 'pulled up' on it for years, but I have very few dealings with others outside of routine transactions, such as getting on a bus, going to the supermarket or other things like it.