Do people tell you your too quiet?

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This might belong in a different thread but I thought it was relevant to social skills.
My question is do people often say that your too quiet?
I have heard this my whole life and I guess I'm still not sure how to respond to it.
How do you respond when people tell you this?
I'm also curious about other people on the spectrum, are you quiet and introverted or talkative and outspoken?

I definitely did used to be told I was too quiet. In every single school report you'll find a comment about how little I talk. I think people have just accepted it since they've all known me for years... except now I'm leaving school. So... I'll probably get these comments in the future.

Warning: Info dump ahead...

YES. I get that A LOT. All my life people have always said I'm quiet. Mostly strangers and the senior citizens in my family. It ticks me off when my uncle Rudy comments about it every time and he calls bashful and anti-social. I hate when people always comment about my quietness.

Back when I was in school, I was in clubs for Aspies and I could never think of anything to say while the rest of the Aspies would jabber for a whole hour about Minecraft, Pokemon, video games, science, or whatever JUST LIKE ORDINARY NEUROTYPICALS while I looked at my shoes, and looked around the room, or pretended to look interested.

It's funny how Aspies think they're so different, when in reality they're almost as normal as everyone else, at least in my eyes. It makes me wonder what's wrong with me. I'm so different from all the Aspies that I can't even relate with them, other than any topic about socializing experiences. They're just like everyone else.

I also hate when people joke that quiet people are going to kill everyone. Like when people say, "It's always the quiet ones" and "Watch out for the weird kids that sit alone" and etc. That's so stupid. Since when do lonely, quiet people go on a deadly rampage? I don't know the whole Columbine story, but the killers were normal, ordinary neurotypicals with social lives, not lonely, quiet Aspie weirdos. Whatever issues they had, I'm certain they weren't Autistic. The majority of killers are neurotypicals.

I'm just quiet because I can never think of anything to talk about, socializing is uninteresting, I can't relate with people, and most of the time I simply just don't want to talk. The only people I talk to with ease are my parents, best friends, and girlfriend. Those are the people who make an effort to socialize with me, and I see them all the time, so as a result I'm comfortable with them.

I don't think most killers are neurotypical. Other than schizophrenia and other disorders of that nature, which get the most attention and most fear, others lack empathy and have ASPD (previously called sociopath and psychopath), maybe some with narcissistic. They lack any care of anyone else so much it's dangerous to have them roaming around in society. Not all killers but certainly more than your average in society.

Because people with autism don't show empathy very well or in a usual way, people believe there is a lack of it. And lack of empathy can be dangerous. Hence there are some who fear especially when the killers' families say their lack of empathy means they think they have autism.

And the difference between Asperger's and NT is the depth of it. NTs do have obsessions and interests but they won't go on and on about them. They may also not get so deeply involved. It doesn't consume their life. Asperger's can mean they become completely and utterly obsessed so much it becomes their life. Autism doesn't have any unique behaviours, just the amount and how much they effect the person is the difference from NTs. You don't need obsessions to have autism. Just it is very common to have one special interest. NTs tend to have more interests which are more diverse and spend less time and depth on them.

Not since I was 14. Before then, I spoke to no one but family and friends.

Now, I can't shut up around friendly people.

Yeah I get the "its always the quiet ones you have to watch out for" a lot.
I have also been asked straight up twice If I was a school shooter/if I was one of those types that will go postal.
The first one was my college professor who asked me that literally with in the first couple weeks of me starting college. yea that made me feel real good about myself. That stuff hurts me a lot. That Professor had nothing to go off of to think I was like that he had only known me a couple weeks and saw I was sitting alone at lunch when he decided to sit next to me and talk when he pulled that.

I used to get this when I was in school, but I'm able to be around reasonable quietness-friendly people nowadays, so I haven't heard it in a long time.

Anyway, if you don't mind them considering you to be a grouch, you can probably get them to back off temporarily by being assertive with responses like, "If you don't like my personality the way it is, you don't have to hang around me." Or maybe snarkier comments about how you don't like their personality either.

Not now, but they did all through my childhood, teenage years and the first half of my twenties. I went through several years of selective mutism; I could talk at home but I clammed up like a shell outside of the house, and for the most part in school. Teachers took issue because they discovered I knew answers but never raised my hand to speak in class. One teacher proactively decided to bring me out of my shell by making me play a small speaking role in some of our daily morning assembly prayers. The odd thing was, being on the school stage with others in a formal "performance" was something I could actually handle. I guess because it was scripted and controlled, whereas speaking in conversation is anything but.

The only reason I broke out of being "too quiet" later on in my twenties was when I pushed myself to start a job and do some other things I wanted to do, travel etc, and I realized within myself that I wanted to force myself to be more social. I can't say that's a good or a bad thing for me or for anyone else, but it's what I did. In a sense I overcompensated after that point, and became TOO chatty, because anything where you are trying wildly to get away from a prior condition, you can push too far to the other side in order to eradicate the unwanted behavior. So, that was a problem too.

The case for me as well. Occasionally they'd ask me the question. When they did everyone had to go silent because I spoke too quietly.

Yes, too quiet that way too; me too -- when I did speak it was a near whisper and everyone got annoyed and told me to speak up.

My wife always tells me I talk too much.

Yes. I am probably better off being quiet most of the time, otherwise I start saying awkward things because I don't have enough time to think them through.

Also this is a bit of a social stigma as well, quiet is seen as a bad thing, whereas there is actually nothing wrong with it at all. Just modern pop culture wants you to think otherwise. People will often say something like this to make themselves feel important.

Recently, I have not been called quiet, because I've gotten pretty good at interrupting and starting random conversations (if you do it only a few times, you no longer have quiet status).

Yes, when I was younger. Some of the teachers and classmates told me so. Now, people don't bother me about it.

I get that I am quiet. That I do not speak up enough. I have also gotten that I am very poor at interviews because I do not say very much except respond to immediate questions.

I have the odd day where I am more open, finding myself in slight conversation with people.

I am pretty quiet, so what is said is true. I do not know about fixing any of this. I do not care for small talk and having to memorize a script for it seems approaching mad--why would I want to get into more of what I really do not care for?

It all depends on the topic and vibe of the room more than anything for me. I generally only speak when I have something to add to the conversation since I feel dumb enough whenever I open my mouth, I suppose I feel I should have something substantive to say than just talk for the sake of hearing myself speak.

I find I can engage into a conversation when it's about a relatively emotionally superficial subject. If we're talking about science, politics, computers, work or whatever -- I might join the conversation. If it's not something I'm generally interested in, people talking about their day to day or stuff that has nothing to do with me, I start getting bored out of my mind. When I got home from work today, my room mates had a friend over and she was busy gossiping about something that sounded like facebook drama. I was happy to hole myself in my room than try to engage in that conversation.

I got the "you're too quiet" thing quite a bit when I was in my teens and 20s. I can't say I get comments like that much anymore in my 30s, although I wonder if that may have to do with the fact that most of my friends have seen me drunk where I get relatively talkative and annoying. Most would probably agree if I happened to make a joke about being anti-social, quiet or that I have a really good resting b***h face (as a guy).

Beloved and loving family members: "You're so quiet, is something wrong?" or "Are you angry?" or "Are you sick?" or "Are you sad?" or "Is your head hurting?"
Me: "No"
They: "But you're so quiet"

I got that a lot in my childhood and teen years. While I could have quite a bit to talk with some of them about, I also very often didn't have anything to say (and didn't have the need to express my lack of things to say )
When I was little, my maternal family mistook it for shyness (because my mother was a shy child).

My first teacher: She's so quiet it's easy to forget she's there.
My mother: are we talking about the same kid?!

My mother is the only person I have ever talked to for hours on end, but even with her, I often don't have all that much to say. It varies. She's certainly the person I have the easiest time talking to.

I'm pretty quiet for the most part, since I very seldom have anything to say to anyone. I don't have a problem with that, but some people do. Their problem IMO. The silence isn't awkward, annoying or boring for me. It only bothers me if I wanna get to know someone, or wish to reach out, but don't know how. That doesn't happen often.

When I was in my mid 20's, I met up with a couple of girls I had gone to junior high with. I thought it was beingwith them again and listening to what they had to say, catching up. At one point I made a comment to something one of them said, and one of them looked at me and said" "Skil, you're so quiet it's easy to forget you're here."

So, yeah, I'm another quiet one.