The value of men

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In another thread it was presented that women are valued for their provision of pleasure and reproductive ability, and men for their accomplishments. These things are probably all true for both genders. But I think that men have more to offer than just that. Companionship, human touch, shared experience are not without value.
The problem with marriage is that at it's heart it is a financial union; it commercializes love. As divorce has become more common than successful marriage, I think society has to reevaluate the promotion of marriage. It is an archaic artifice and it messes with people's lives.
If people accept that relationships are not forever and take the financial union out of it, then people could just chill out and stop chasing this illusion. And men could stop feeling that they're about to be exploited, which often happens.

or people could stop being superficial and only caring about money, marriage hasn't always been about money transaction. it use to be about love to people. some few people still do marry for love.

divorce rate is so high because so many people marry for money, then that goes away for some reason and the marriage falls apart.

honestly though most people seem to be more into just having sex then getting married now a days.

I think you'll find that marriage has pretty much always been about money, even in ancient times.
The whole "forever after" story is ,mythology.

Too true. I blame the 70s.

I believe, mostly, in what you say.

Any man can offer companionship and human touch if he wants to, so, by themselves, those are worthless assets. In fact, focusing too much on them may be a sign that he has nothing else going for him. You become valuable by having something not all can offer even if they'd like to. Besides, the companionship of someone who's had an exciting life so far will always be more fulfilling than that of one who hasn't.



Divorce has become common because pressure to stay in unhappy marriages has lessened a lot. Unhappy relationships have probably always been as common as they are today, if not more because women were often forced into marriage for the perceived good of the family---you simply were supposed to suck it up and accept that true love wasn't meant for you, all the while pretending to be in love with your designated husband.



You still need some kind of financial union to raise children. And people would still have their standards for choosing partners. And it just makes too good an excuse to meddle into your offspring's love life to give it up. ... Er..., scratch that

If you're interested in learning about the value of men, I highly recommend this book:



I picked it up as an amazon reco when I bought my copy of Might is Right by Ragnar Redbeard.

It's really quite good & basically lays things out as all groups of men being gangs and all interactions between people as the ways of gangs and gangsters, whether at work, sports, the military etc & it goes into depth about the characteristics of a man that make him valuable to himself, his family, and his gang(s).

I don't disbelieve in love. I just don't think marriage is a good expression of it.

Not necessarily. I have met some men with whom I have no desire to spend time.

I think a lot of people end up coming to that realization.

Not necessarily. Finances can be kept separate.

That's interesting. I'll look for a copy.
I've often thought that men's relationships with their peers were more important to them than that with their wives.

Women would oppose the most to your suggestion of taking the financial union out of marriage.

They would put you at a stake and cheer your burning among a hysteric crowd.

Especially these guys:



https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacred_Band_of_Thebes

I think autistic people struggle with relationships because a relationship requires a shared reality. I know I've always been stubborn about my interpretation of reality. But maybe it's just me.

People all have their own individual realities.

There are objective realities as well.

Nothing precludes people from benefitting from another's reality.

as a guy i'm often bitter that i'm valued, judged, defined by my career and finances, occupation, what I've done in my life or what i'm doing with my life, or headed in life.

That would suck.
I'm mostly valued by my appearance and ability to chat; both of which I struggle with.

I value you for your kindness. you're nice to people. but yes you are pretty too.

That only proves my point: they can offer it if they want to---and you reject it because they're not good enough for you in some other area.



What realization?



Not surprising considering that, in the traditional situation, you usually made your living---which included keeping your wife as a housewife if you got to have one, as well as your kids---in a male-only environment, and that only your male gang could protect you from being conquered by a rival gang.

No amount of cherishing your relationship with your wife could replace that, so focusing too much on it was a sure way to doom---including the loss of your wife, who'd probably be raped by your triumphant assailants and be left entirely at their mercy once they slew you.

Thanks sly.


"Not good enough" doesn't describe it accurately. More like "not compatible."


That you're sharing your life with someone with whom you would rather not.


True.

This is why marriage is of no use anymore.