Other NT Youth

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Does anyone else despise most other teenagers? It seems that no matter what I do, I have yet to find a single teenager who I don't have negative feelings towards. It can range from me simply feeling that you're a mindless sheep, to me being so disgusted by you that I'll actively keep all interactions with you at a minimum.

I don't enjoy being so cynical about the world, but I feel as if I've aged more in my short 15 years than anyone ever has. It's gotten to the point where I feel as if people that have 40+ years on me are beneath me. It's depressing, and very isolating. I tend to spend my time with the few people that I feel are equals, but those are few among the many people I have to deal with.

Stop thinking that others are different from you or beneath you then you'll be able to communicate with them

That is sound advice. Smug self-suffering is an easy pit to fall into, OP - you must take care around those who are much older than you, and have learned that not everything in life can (or should) be approached with cynicism. This isn't to say that every adult is wise and measured - certainly some of them are no better than your peers - but they'll at least have more experience in disguising their bitterness.


This, however, is less so. Of course neurotypical people are different from those who have autism - otherwise, they wouldn't be neurotypical. Maintaining the contrary is sure to get you into trouble.

I don't know, it's not like autistic people are frogs while NTs are raccoons, both are humans after all, I never saw anyone being that different, sure people have different interests and way of thinking and morals even but when you look deeper into those people you'll find out they have the same human traits and emotions as you do or even if you don't do that at least you can find you have similarities between yourself and someone so much 'different' than you, me and many of my classmates don't share interests but for example many share the hate for waking up early in the morning like I do haha, if you look for similarities between you and others you're going to find them and if you look for the differences between you and others you're going to find them too, so choose which one you would want to look for in others, you're going to find it. Even enemies are able to sympathize with each other.

(disorganized response, ask me for clarification if I wrote anything poorly)

The thing is that others ARE different from me, and I'm not lacking in self-awareness. I do realize that not everyone is like that, you both seem to have misunderstood what I was intending to communicate. I also recognize that I can be arrogant at times, it's a part of my youth that hasn't left me.

However, I don't agree with your assessment that recognizing others are different from me emotionally and intellectually is somehow preventing me from empathizing and understanding them. Also, when I said that I feel as if I've aged far more, I wasn't implying that cynicism and bitterness came with that wisdom.

I can understand others, but simply being able to understand someone and empathize with them does not mean that you enjoy being around them.

Can you imagine how distressing it is to be able to see everything in others? To know what others will do before they do it? Being able to see all of those things removes so much of the element of humanity from you. It is madness, and I'm looking for someone that has to watch the same things that I do.

I've mostly grown out of this phase, and am still trying to learn how to understand, accept and tolerate all others and their behaviors.

I used to think things like smoking, sex and alcohol at a young age for example were awful things to do and those that do them had no morals, standards, etc. I got over this. I use to be self-righteous and think highly positive things of myself, now I consider myself a decent person or an 'anti-hero' at best.

I don't understand though still what you mean by 'hate them'.

I think I can relate though. While I have no problem with other people, I just seem to can't stand being around other people.

It has nothing to do with them or what they're doing, but mostly myself.

It's not an arrogant, judgemental "I hate you people, I'm better than you" cr*p, it's just a genuine dislike of being in the precense of other people at times.

Look, I'll give one example.

At school I am starting to meet more people and try to socialize more to meet more people, make more friends, etc.

There's this one group that are, although friendly, very conformist.

It's not just a way to feel better than them or anything, I genuinely feel they are a very homogenous group.

It appears many of the members of this group just act very similar, it almost discourages self-expression.

Now, me, I choose to be an outsider. I do not consider myself a part of any groups and I like it this way.

I don't want to 'fit in' or 'be a part of' any groups, I simply like to CO-EXIST with groups of people and socialize with those I choose to.

This group has friendly people, but it just doesn't encourage this. I felt a bit excluded around these people to be honest.

I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not, a fake, and act like themjust to be able to hang out with them.

There is another group I hang out with, and they are much, much better. They are very open and tolerant of all kinds of peoples and views. They are very diverse. In my opinion, they get 'all kinds of (good) weirdness mixed together'.

And it's true. I feel more comfortable with the second group, and that I can be myself.

I am not some happy, confident, social, life of the party guy. I have good social skills, most NTs don't even think I have aspergers, but I'm just very quiet and aloof. I prefer to just sit back and relax, calm, etc. than be involved in anything. I prefer to speak to other people first than other people speaking to me first.

So yeah. I will go to the group, just sit down on my own near everyone, and socialize with people out of choice.

If I did this at the first group, it simply would not work, I would make no friends and not be able to co-exist. No one would approach me, or even let me approach them. The first group, when having conversations, they stand in a little bit of a 'friendship/social' circle and just approaching them is intimidating and they don't allow you to be a part of it. if you get what I mean. They are the kind of group where you must be confident, happy social type to be able to even speak to any of them. I am friends with one of the girls that used to hang out with them and also an acquaintance with this other girl there, but I went there solo once and they just ignored me while they were talking...

Maybe my example was a bad one, but it is supposed to relate to what you are saying.

I find certain conformist groups or people to be predictable and while i can understand them and emphasize with them I still do not like it and do not want to be a part of it.

Like I said i prefer to co-exist than to be a part of anything but this is difficult at times.

I am self-aware aspie like you.

This first group I know how they think, what makes them tick and I know what to do to be a part of it but this doesn't mean I like it.

If something like this is what you mean, then I agree that I do NOT think it is 'arrogant'.

I do not think I am better than the first group, if anything they think they are better than me. Too good to talk to someone like me. Like I said while most people do not think I have aspergers, I am still a very aloof and quiet person. I come across as different, y'know. They don't understand it, kind of difference.

This isn't about thinking you are better than others so that you can't be friends with them, this is about feeling different from other people like you said, and finding this to be what makes it harder for you to better get along with others and get treated the proper respect by others instead of being shunned, excluded or outcasted.

It is difficult to be yourself.

I never agreed with be yourself, I always thought 'be your best self'. To me though this still means be who you truly are and be honest with yourself, and that is what I am trying to be along with my most confident, social, happy, healthy self.

I feel the same as you OP.

Sorry if I misunderstood you there.
Maybe you're different from me in this but I usually enjoy being with others with similar hobbies and interests as me, sometimes there's nothing common but I end up sitting next to that person so we become friends later by joking together or anything like that and later we start introducing each other into our own hobbies and personalities, after a while we may adapt to each other's hobbies and personalities, if the person is nice to me I don't care about their interests or intelligence or maturity level or behaviors, I like sitting with them while we joke or teach each other things and play games or eat or talk about anything.
Yeah I know that feeling but I don't mind being able to 'see' and 'predict' everything in others, it doesn't make me feel different because I know there are probably many others like that but they don't say it since I don't also say to others that I'm able to see and predict everything in them, but also I think to myself that thinking I can see and predict everything in others is arrogant since people might be so much different than how I perceive them, you never know, so many people thought they can see what I am and that they're good in seeing others and predicting them but what they claimed they saw in me is actually so much different than what is actually in me. We don't live in others heads so that we'd actually know what's exactly in them. Actually I think that how we see others is nothing more than our own opinion and analyzation of them.

Thank you all for the interesting responses. Will edit this post with my thoughts when I find the time.
Cheers.

I am like this too most of the time and true, true it is just our own judgement of others but you still know what we mean, right? As in you see our point.

Like from an outsider perspective many groups all the members act similar but some groups are more tolerant to differences than others.

It is true all groups have unique members but from an outsider view they all appear to be similar and act similar.

Like I said there is this one group and I feel too much of an outsider/different for them I do not want to adapt or change just to fit their standards to get along with the others.

I normally have two friends there but when I went solo I felt very excluded they stood in a circle all conversing and basically ignoring me I didn't actually try to talk to them but more like tried to join them and stand there but I wasn't a part of it and I knew it, that's just a basic example.

Like, most groups I am aloof, quiet guy and i prefer to just relax. Somewhat of a 'strong, silent type' lol well that is at least how I would describe myself. And I only like to speak to others out of choice. But some groups you feel almost forced to adapt a little to fit in, instead of staying true to yourself.

That first group I would have creeped them out if I stood with them silently like I was a part of it when I barely know any of them.

But the second group they didn't even know me that well but they were more welcoming they mostly just ignored me but in a good way as in I was left to do my own thing, chillout relax but could have chosen to speak to one of the members of the group when I felt like it because like I said I speak to only those I choose to and only when I feel ready to.

Not all groups we can get this lucky I don't think man.

Anyway this second group i am starting to fit in with better and they are starting to warm up to me I am not just outsider/stranger now but I'm legit starting to make some good friends out of it.

But they still clearly understand I'm the quiet type I don't even have to talk to any of them unless I choose to.

Yes I understand what you mean, I have been through this two years ago when I wasn't really close to anyone, I used to feel sensitive about it that I can't 'fit' in any group and being ignored but then I started making my own friends and now I do have a group, I usually befriended others who were like me too so that helped me and people who didn't really belong to groups, sometimes when the other person was shy or quiet I did most of the conversation so it helped me too, I'm usually quiet with people but sometimes I'm very talkative but I also don't make new friends that much, I don't go approaching or meeting others and starting conversations but sometimes people talk to me so I talk to them, there's one friend I made that way, not so sure if I'm good in giving advices but I think if you want a friend that will always be with you and get close to you find someone who isn't social and doesn't belong to a group and has no friends or 1-4 friends only and then talk to them or something, but I don't know I'm not social myself lol.

Well me I don't desire to 'fit in' in the sense that i'm a part of the group or a group of friends or anything. It's not that I'm miserable or depressed about being too different to fit in, it's that I actually CAN'T be different to get along with others. I can feel like a fake/sham/lie but I don't want to, i want to stay true to myself.

I've always considered myself a 'drifter', as in I drift between social groups or activities and I want to continue being a drifter.

Anyway, yes, I've made the majority of my friends that way with only a few friends.

Think it'd probably just be more logical for me to try to be friends with other 'drifters', other people who move between groups instead of just people who are only really a part of one group almost exclusively.

Me yeah I'm quiet but also talkative it really depends.

But mostly I like to think I come across as a bit quiet, see I'm not sure it's just my own thoughts of myself.

Basically in all of my classes: Biology never talk to anyone except the teacher and only when i must, Math mostly just do my work, not much of a talker, drama only talk to the teacher and sometimes the other students but only sometimes, geography I have my good mate who I'm really chatty with, study session talk to no one, and english I have my female friend but when I'm not talking to her, not much anyone else really. At lunch breaks though I'm a bit more social.

Maybe not so much quiet, but quiet by comparison to how social others end up being.

But thanks for the advice. I know what you mean and agree.

Anyway, to OP. Hope what we have said has helped a bit more.

I swear it's helped me as well, really makes you think about high school group/clique structure.

I don't like to fake too, not sure if I can do it even lol it makes me feel uncomfortable and I think it's not really good to fake to get friends because eventually I think you will get tired of faking and they'll find your real personality that they might not like or be interested in.
I'm the opposite, I like staying with the same people all the time.
Me too, I think yes if you're a drifter it's better to be friends with drifters more.
People sometimes tell me that I'm quiet but I think I'm not that quiet, I sometimes talk a lot during class.
In all my classes the same friends are there and at lunch time too.
You're welcome, glad to know I gave someone a good advice xD
I also agree OP