How do you deal with social events?

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I'm not autistic, but a few of my previous posts may give you some idea of what I'm like. I've been invited to a wedding. The wedding is in TWO DAYS TIME. I'm absolutely terrified at the thought of going. I keep getting chest pains and panic attacks at the thought of it. I've bought a dress, but I look f*****g ridiculous. I'm thinking of just not turning up. My mother is epileptic, so I could pretend that she's had a fit and not go, but I'd feel bad about letting the bride and groom down. I work with them and it seems as though everyone I work with is going. I don't like the thought of dressing up or socialising or even worse, pictures of me ending up on Facebook. I need at least 3 months notice of social events so that I can mentally prepare for them. But I can't tell the bride that. Any advice?

1. Get up
2. Dress up
3. Show up

Don't give up.

I try to avoid them.

If I must go through with it, I try hard to endure it with the idea towards making it fun for myself.

I think you better show up, no matter what.

You'll look FINE!

2 days is completely out of the ordinary for an invitation to a wedding. Hell, most weddings require the RSVPs to be returned at least a month in advance. It would not be rude of you at all to decline the invitation based on the short notice alone. Just make an excuse about already having plans that you can't change.

On another note, if you're not on the spectrum but social events give you this much trouble, you might want to look into seeing someone about anxiety disorders. Anxiety, unlike ASD, is treatable with both medication and with therapy.

Are you terrified of attending the wedding or is it the reception afterwards? Most weddings, unless your actually in the bridal party which I doubt based on the 2 day notice, are not in themselves very social. You show up as close to the time as possible, get ushered to a seat, and listen to the wedding ceremony, then make your exit as quickly (but dignified) as possible. The reception on the other hand, no way in hell would I ever go to one, no matter how much advanced notice I got. It's simply not possible for me to function in a large gathering where it is expected of me to socialize with many others.

_________________
ASD, ADHD-PI, PTSD , BI-Polar 2

Quetiapine 300mg Morning
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Imagine my therapist's embarrassment when it turned out they really were after me.

I force myself to go. Most weddings I've been to no one notices if I end up just sitting quietly. Mostly, the people who go to a wedding are there for the couple only and don't bother with strangers unless they're like super outgoing. No one has bothered me.

Yes, 2 days' notice to a wedding is unreasonable and gives plenty of credibility to your declining it. It looks pretty clear that you don't want to go, so don't. Your excuse doesn't have to be as strong as a dire emergency, though a bit of baloney would probably help, such as a prior appointment, if you need to give an excuse at all. Either that or just tell them that it was too short notice.

i don't have social anxiety but i do shut down due to too much sensory stimuli and too much socializing. To cope with this, i bring my escapes, hand held games, phones, Ipad tablets, headphones (HEADPHONES ARE A LIFE SAVER) Mp3s, maybe even a crossword puzzle, just anything to focous on that takes away the intensity

Panic for the entire period of time leading up to the event and then opt out at the very last moment. Subsequently bingeing on anything I can get my fiendish hands on. It truly is a soul-destroying experience, of which I highly recommend.

Update: I pretty much have to attend, so I am going, but I've chickened out of wearing a dress. My friends have put me in charge of smuggling booze into the venue, so at least I have that to focus on.

Wait, it's a wedding and you have to smuggle in your own booze?
Oh, well.
Enjoy!

Haha, it's at a very posh hotel and the bar prices are horrific so I'm bringing the goods. We will buy soft drinks though.