no one can tell me I'm wrong

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I'm just get right to it and list the main reasons why I think I should just kill myself.

-I'm unhirable for anything that I can actually do. My job history is almost completely empty and I've been a student for way too long. Sure, Walmart and McDonalds are available, but they force you into constant contact with people and/or have chaotic, loud environments. I will literally crack under that. It's happened before. I'm almost in my mid-20s now. Part of wrapping up the degree is being someone's lowly b***h for a few months during an internship. Normal work is hell for me when I'm getting paid for it (why I'll never actually succeed). Being an unpaid lowly grunt? I'll never make it through. I'll snap and that'll be that.

-My generation is f****d. We will never retire. We'll be working our asses off like mice until we literally collapse on the job.

-I'm going to die anyway, and that thought scares the s**t out of me. I spend my days alternating back and forth between being terrified of death and thinking that it's best if I accept it now rather than later. As dark an act as suicide may be, I can't imagine a worse hell than being elderly, incapacitated, abandoned by people who say that they love and value you, and knowing that that eternal death (or eternal something) is coming and there isn't s**t you can do to stave it off or prevent it.

-I have it better than many, many other people out there and I still can't handle it. Just how much of an intrepid f**kup am I?

Here's the thing; I've said this to therapists and a couple of family members. You'd think they would be able to grasp at something - anything - to tell me that I'm wrong, that things really aren't this way, that I'm not actually that horrible. It's their duty, in a sense, to talk me down. But none of them do. They never have an answer for me. Because they know I'm right.

That pushes me closer to the ledge than anything else, knowing that the people who have an interest in keeping me grounded mentally and free from danger, truly cannot me that I'm wrong about any of my reasons for thinking suicide is my only option. On top of that, I can almost see/hear them changing their tone, rethinking their lives and why they bother doing what they do when we're all worker rats for the 1% in the end.

Sorry to poison your day with my nonsense.

you'll be paid in experience during your internship. keep that in mind and you might stay calm enough to pull it off. what degree are you working toward?

Hospitality.

It's awful and doesn't at all play to my strengths (whatever those are). I've wanted to change it several times but people have told me that just having a degree, any degree, is what matters.

Having a college degree does matter. The unemployment rate for college graduates is about 1/2 of the unemployment rate among high school graduates.

You need a reason to live? How about the one I use: If you're dead, you can't think. It might not seem like much, but really, it's everything. You can solve mysteries; you can create worlds; you can understand beauty! And you want to give that up?! Humans are the only known beings that can even scratch the surface of the absurd multitude of awesome wonders that surround us every single day, but sadly, most don't. They won't, and I cannot fathom why. You only need to discover one of those wonders and you'll stop searching for a reason to live and become one. This world is a difficult one to live in for those few of us who actually use our minds, rather than letting them be used (by other people or our own emotions), but it's so indescribably beautiful, I would take on the miseries of a thousand lifetimes just to experience one more of it's gifts. So, yeah, if the exit's the only door you can see, then by all means, take it. But if you're just the tiniest bit curious to see what you, and only you, can do with the tremendous power lurking just behind your furrowed brow, all you have to do is think.