Is it bad that I can't handle children?

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I simply can't stand children at all. I have 2 younger nieces and a baby nephew who come over to my house very often, and they often giggle very loudly, scream, and stomp around the house. The baby cries very often too. I notice that I'm very sensitive to noise, and this stresses me out a lot to where I can barely think. It almost is like an arrow piercing through my head. I also have a very hard time pretending with them, and it's very difficult for me to play games with them when they ask me to except for video games. I also become stressed out when they interrupt my daily routine and plans when they come into my room, when it probably wouldn't stress out most people. I tend to distance myself from the kids as much as possible and hide in my room being quiet. My mom says that I'm just being selfish and that I need to play with them, but the whole experience is miserable for me. I don't hate my nieces and nephew though. I love them dearly and would be sad if anything ever happened to them, but I just can't handle being around them much. I hope that I'm not alone, and I'm wondering if my mom is right and I am being selfish? Not sure :/

Honestly, you are not alone and don't feel bad! That post almost could have been written by me. I'm one with barely no maternal instinct and I go through the same thing when my family comes to visit, even though I love them to bits. I find it especially disruptive and hard to handle if they pop by unannounced, and I can't do the pretend play either. Don't even get me started on crying babies...

Everyone knows kids can be an absolute handful, especially when there's more than one of them at a time. It's understandable to not be able to handle the noise, especially if you have AS and sensory issues. It's just what kids can be like and you know you still love your nieces and nephew. It's just the likes of children you can't stand, and the activities that go along with them, like pretend play.

I don't think you're being selfish at all, but maybe when they come over you could just spend a little time with them doing something more comfortable for you. That way your mom should be happy that you've spent at least some time with them. How old are your nieces? You could set up a video game to play with them, or do a quiet activity like drawing. When you've had enough, just be firm and say that you have other things to do, or something along those lines (and hopefully they'll occupy themselves with something else).

Selfishness is putting your own needs first, and this is a perfect example of selfishness being a good thing.

I like children, but I still find them overloading.

I'm not keen on children but that's because I'm not used to them. We don't have any little ones in my family any more, so I haven't really dealt with small children for years now. I think I would be quite good with them if I was used to them or obviously had one of my own, or whatever.

But it's not a bad thing to feel the way you feel about children, especially coming to your house. My mum is not an Aspie, and she's a really lovely person, but she doesn't like babies or children coming to our house. She has some friends who have got small grandchildren, and she rants about them bringing their kids before and after they have visited. But obviously while they are there, we have to act like we love children. I just keep out of the way. I don't mind if a child is good and is the shy type who just quietly sits by their relative, but I get uncomfortable if it's a rude, loud child that won't sit still and takes over every conversation.

I don't like it when people bring a baby, between the age of about 10 months to 3 years. Children of that age are typically demanding, and have to be watched all the time because when babies are first toddling about they get intrigued in everything.

I don't really mind being around children as long as they don't cry or scream. Having sensory issues doesn't help at all with that.

This is completely and utterly fine. Your sensory issues/need for routine aren't something to be ashamed about. Lots of aspies experience what you do.

I'd say that hating children is a bad thing (it's ageism - children are people too), but not being able to handle children is OK.

We Aspergers apparently often mix up hating with disliking. However, with me it is generally like this. I dislike children but I know it is not their fault, that is why I hate their parents, because they screw up the children's education by keep letting them do what they want, so children grow up being the center of the universe and that can have bad consequences at a later stage in life, where they will be too mentally weak to sort things out themselves. This often because the parents failed, and that is why I usually hate parents, because so many make the children of today become irresponsible, arrogant and ignorant, which is killing the planet.