gonna kill myself

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man i'm so sick and tired of all this BS. i can't go a single f*****g day without worrying about the stupidest s**t. i keep f*****g things up, my friends act like i'm weird and i'm so f*****g sick of f*****g everything. i'm 16 and life is just so BS, i'm sick of being such a f*****g freak, i'm sicking of having aspergers and i'm sick to death of my anxiety problems. no one is ever there for me, and the people who are there for me end up getting tired of my BS so i see no f*****g point of living anymore. my life f*****g sucks, i was a genetic failure and i'm just being a f*****g ret*d oxygen thief that no one gives a flying f**k about sitting about the house all day doing f**k all. screw this, i'm gonna kill myself and no one's talking me out of it cos i don't give a flying f**k how it affects my sh***y ass family f**k em and f**k life

I'm sorry you feel that way.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you.

Can we do anything to help?

Please don't kill yourself. I promise, it does get better. You will learn better coping skills. Your friends and family will learn to understand you, or they won't, and you will find different people to connect to. Please reach out to someone, anyone--a friend, family member, teacher, priest/preacher/rabbi.

If none of those work, call a suicide hotline like this one: 1 (800) 273-8255

Try some things that might make you feel better.
--Exercise, to get endorphins (good hormones) flowing.
--Go for a walk or a run
--Play your favorite music, or play an instrument, or sing
--Do something with your favorite interest/topic

If you need to let off some frustration:
--Go someplace where you can curse and yell
--Punch a pillow
--Hit some baseballs
--Whack the ground with a stick

Believe me, I've been there, and I've done it all. You'll still have Asperger's, but you can find your niche, your special place in this world, where you are valued and you have a skill. Your friends may still think you're weird, but maybe you can turn that into a good thing: the kid who has a different perspective, that thinks of things that nobody else does, that's willing to question what's accepted. Maybe you'll be the one fighting for justice or the one with the oddball sense of humor or the one who asks, "why do we have to do things this way?"

The world needs people like that too.

What do you mean?

Well, I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry and sad that you are feeling like this and hope that you will be alright. I've been through similar at times - you can get through this. I'm crap at this, but what GodzillaWoman said is good. There are better times ahead

Hey man, it hurts me to see you feel like this. I have a little brother with aspergers and just the thought of him feeling this way breaks my heart.

I can relate to what you're saying, I too have been in some dark spots in my day. But I'm only 10 years older then you and can tell you that things WILL get easier and you'll have some pretty incredible moments money can't buy in your future if you just keep pushing through the tough times.

Highschool was the hardest phase of my life, there was so much pressure on me every where I turned, but burden lessens as you grow older. You never know who is going to come into your life at the most random times and make you feel like this life is all worth duking out. I never thought I'd really fall in love at your age and sure as s**t, it finally found me at 23 years old...I had some awesome times with people that genuinely cared about me, and you will too.

It's hard living with aspergers no doubt but like someone else said you will find your place in this world where you are wanted and needed. If you just hold on you will meet people that care about you, I promise you man.

I agree with the above. You're still very young.

Do you have something that you are especially interested in?

thank you, but nearly everything's all my fault. i'm like a ticking time bomb and i just can't deal with all this anymore. i left school a couple of months ago with literally zero grades but that's a whole different matter. sorry about your brother, i can only hope he doesn't have to go through the amount of s**t i experienced.

gaming i suppose. but i don't have a good knowledge in coding, and i'm terrible at art and math so i doubt i could get a job in the games department. i can barely tie my own shoe laces and i'm not even a low functioning type of person. i dunno if i was just destined to fail in life cos i know some aspies that can do a lot of stuff i simply can't.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I strongly advice against it.

You don't need math or art to be into gaming. Such a wide variety of jobs in the gaming industry, I wouldn't say it's closed as an option. If you're interested in coding it can always be learned. May take a while to pick up on but if you keep at it you can get good at it. There are plenty of free resources on the internet. You're still young, you have plenty of opportunities. Ones you're not even aware of at the moment. Find an interest and keep at it, you won't regret it. Killing yourself is permanent. Can't be undone. You have your life ahead of you, don't end it.

You can always learn--you have plenty of time, and the coding I have done (for websites) doesn't require math or art. It's more like a script or one of those Choose Your Own Adventure things. If THIS is true, then do THAT, ELSE do SOMETHING ELSE. I don't know a lot about how games are made, but i'm pretty sure that you have some folks that do art, and others that do code.

As for comparing your abilities to other aspies, try not to do that. We all have different areas that we are strong at, and weak at. I'm good with coding, art, and math, but I am so clumsy I can barely get across a room without tripping or breaking something (that's where my nickname comes from) and I really struggle with verbal instructions (I often have to have people repeat themselves or write it down as they speak, and most of my clients know they'll have a more productive conversation through emails and texts).

I really recommend you try to stay in school (I know high school sucks). That diploma can be the beginning of a lot of things. I enjoyed university a LOT more, because I could hang out with people who had similar interests. That could be something to shoot for. In the mean time, could you join a gamers' group (in real life, to practice those social skills)? It might be fun and also give you exposure to people with different kinds of abilities and interests.

Do you know what?

There's probably very few people on this site who haven't felt the way you are feeling at some point of their lives.

You are more than welcome to come here to WP any time you like and vent your anger and frustrations.

We might not always be able to help but there is always people who will try and understand and help you.

Just remember, life is short and we all make mistakes and learn. some knocks are harder than others but the more you keep getting back up the stronger you will become.

Stay safe my friend.

Of course man you got it, no problem at all. No need to feel sorry for my brother either he is one hell of a tough kid, smarter then I'll ever hope to be too. I just hope that he if he ever shares these kind of feelings you have he would say something so I would have a chance to let him know how much I need him here, regardless of how he feels and I'm willing to bet you got people out there that feel that way about you too.

He may only be 16 but he's constantly teaching me life lessons, believe it or not. He has no shame around how he is "different' then other people and that's something I absolutely admire him for, he's got guts and I know you can find that kind of strength too.

I have asperger's too and I know there is a place for me in this world, haven't found it yet but that's ok, just knowing that I wouldn't be here if there wasn't is enough to keep me going...I hope you can find some value of that as well. I'm really glad that you have interest in gaming, and coding dude fore real!? That is fukking awesome! I couldn't imagine having any knowledge of that kind of thing even in my future so I would have to think that you very well could make a life for yourself around that department. There are specialty fields everywhere, and plus gaming is an awesome way to meet other people interested in the same thing, I wish I could say I've found my area of interest....So in a way you are further along then me right now...find your peace with gaming for now and see where it takes you. That's just one thing for now, you will have much more to hold on to later down the road too.

Shoot me a pm if you need someone to talk to, alright man?

TO be honest I don't blame the way you feel, hopefully things get better quickly so you don't have to end your life. I feel the same way you do many times; don't know about genetic failure but some people theorize that aspergers are just weak people that would have died out in primitive times and that we're useless in society.

Those same people who talk bullcrap don't even have survival skills or know how to build houses.. I have ASD and I'll admit it sucks, but I can do lots of stuff and bet I could survive longer in the wild than neurotypicals.. This is because I'm athletic as well..