Simple question for hetero males

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(Im Autistic too by the way and been exactly the stereotype I will describe, so no need to feel embarassed or like you are being studied!)

I see the stereotype of lonely virgin autistic guys here over and over, dying pining for a girlfriend or sex. But a most significant part of that stereotype is very picky, specific attributes of that desired female based mostly if not wholly on very conventional aesthetic beauty.


I would like to know how many of the guys here fall into this bracket, even if you ditch the virginity and severe loneliness. How many of you crave / are predominantly attracted to conventionally beautiful women, to physical attributes like figure, facial symmetry, dolled up appearance that would put a girl on the cover of a magazine or in a music video.
How many of you are into that? When you see girls like this, do you pine for them? Do you want them to like you? Do you get sexually or emotionally excited?

And how many of you are into something entirely different, far removed from this simplistic aesthetic "beauty" ?
If so, feel free to describe what that is. ESPECIALLY if you still fall into the category of severe loneliness and desiring specific attributes, just ones that are not based around conventional aesthetic beauty.

I find attractive women attractive. I expect most guys do, which is why they are considered attractive in the first place . But to me, there are far more important things than looks. I wouldn't date someone I didn't find "cute enough", because I feel attraction is vital to a relationship. But I'd go for a medium-cute woman with a wonderful personality over a beautiful woman with a really boring (or worse, unkind) personality.

I mostly echo Nathaniel.

Firstly, I'll start off by saying I kind of fall into this category (I'm a virgin and lonely in the romantic sense). I believe the reason that people with minimal relationship experience crave beautiful partners so much is because they themselves feel unattractive, but this belief is challenged if an attractive person is to show a romantic interest in them.

I think many of the people in your aforementioned stereotype feel a relationship with a pretty woman will fill a void in their confidence that has been accumulated over a vivid past of not receiving romantic interest from the opposite sex. Most aren't as interested in a practical relationship as they are a way to boost their own self-esteem.

As for myself, I would say I used to base the possibility of having a relationship with someone off of my extreme preferences (e.g. I have a thing for girls with curly hair, so I would mostly only look at girls with curly hair), but now that I'm 19, my standards aren't as extreme, and I only completely turn my head away from a prospective partner now if I find them unattractive/not even a little bit attractive. To put it in perspective, I probably swipe right on 75% of Tinder profiles nowadays (but I don't generally read their about section). Of course I'm still much more motivated by people with my strong preferences, but it's not make or break anymore.

As for pining for people, that's also a thing of the past for me. I might offer someone a compliment, but only if I can cleverly interweave it into the conversation. The more needy you appear to be, the less desirable you make yourself, so I steer clear of that sort of thing where possible.

Most girls swipe left 75% of guys, so really....hetero males are not the most shallow gender.

That's because thirsty guys on the internet obscure their judgement of who they can realistically be with, and who just wants them for sex.

Well this definitley is not a simple question but I'll answer it anyways.

I'm attracted to all those physical features you speak of. I'm a total ass and legs diggin' guy and that athletic appearance just sets me off.

It's not just that simple though. I also crave something more, ideally with a women who is both physically attractive and intellectually appealing too. I couldn't have a long term relationship with a ditzy women even if she was really attractive, and a LTR is what I'm aiming for atm.

I rather like Zaftig women--the Victorian ideal--round, rather than angular.

Let me put it this way, if I were Aragorn from the Lord of the Rings, I'd choose Éowyn over Arwen any day of the week. Something about Shield Maidens over the gentle flower types really does it for me.

Last edited by Feyokien on 10 Sep 2015, 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

No, it's not that.

Not on Tinder.

I do not like this thread because it's promoting the idea that "guys are more shallow, and crave for conventional beauty"; this is just a popular shaming.

I have observed and did experiments on dating apps/sites, and I am 200% convinced that girls crave conventional beauty as much as guys do when it comes to looks and other physical aspects such as body and height.

Let's accept that fact.

Women have aesthetic sensibilities, men have aesthetic sensibilities.

But it's more complex than that. Especially as a person ages beyond high school age.

That applies on both gender.

Maybe autistic guys are more behind in maturity.

I agree with this post due to personal experience.

I might be a bit weird in this regard, but I can recognize conventional attractiveness without really being attracted to it. As in "wow, this girl must work very hard on her apperance to look like that", which could both be a sign of dedication and of vanity, so it goes either way. My personal preference is more towards petite or more shapely women of a bookish and/or nerdy persuasion.

Taking care of yourself and caring about your appearance is a good thing, but good hygiene, clean and whole clothes and maybe a basic style sense will take you a long, long way towards attractiveness. Women working too hard to pursue conventional attractiveness run the risk of ending up looking like off-duty porn actresses.

That's not weird at all!

I've known some model-looking people for whom I had NO sexual desire.

I've been sexually attracted to some conventionally rather unattractive ladies.