Would the world be a better place without mind games?

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AutismEqualsMisery
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22 Sep 2015, 7:17 pm

This is going to sound a bit controversial, but I honestly conclude that the reason Elliot Rodger or other guys take their anger out on women is because there a satanic game out there known as (gulp) "hard to get".

This is the REASON why dating is so hard for men. If women today would just drop these stupid, dried out ugly games that men hate so much, then feminism wouldn't be in issue in dating anymore. Dating would be equally difficult.

I never play hard to get
I will never play hard to get
I never CAN play hard to get.

Seriously, the term "hard to get" makes me want to throw up and almost turns me into a misogynist because I never hear of men playing that ugly game that even the devil hates.

I know girls reading this might shutter at the first two paragraphs. But just look at any games you've played in the past and how stupid it was. Repeat after me "I will never ever play hard to get."



AnotherAlex
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22 Sep 2015, 7:27 pm

I'm guessing you're a guy, right? Then you will never be called a slut either. You will never be told that "you're fun to sleep with but you're not the type of girl I want to marry". You will never be date-raped and then told that, "Everyone knows you're easy anyway." You will never get pregnant and then be abandoned to deal with the baby on your own. And so forth and so on. Until those things routinely happen to men, you don't get to tell women how they should behave in the dating scene.

I'll give you a hint: women will stop playing hard to get when men start treating them with respect. Until then, women will have to keep protecting themselves as much as they can.



yellowtamarin
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22 Sep 2015, 7:37 pm

Sure. I don't play games. I don't think I ever have. Seems to work well and guys I have dated have seemed to appreciate it. I think it's the NT crowd you want to convert more than aspies. Aspie women are less likely to be game players.



MissyEE3
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22 Sep 2015, 8:02 pm

Feminism is about equality.

You can easily avoid women who play mind games by taking a "no" at face value. She's not interested. Move on.

Based on Elliot Rodger's manifesto and YouTube videos, women who played hard to get we're not an issue for him. He didn't speak to women. He didn't ask them out. He stood around in expensive sweaters and raged that women did not throw themselves at him. Given his mental instability and actions, the women of the world wanting nothing to do with him seems reasonable and sensible.

I am slightly confused by your post.

Can you please explain why you feel feminism interferes with your ability to get dates?

How do you know women playing hard to get is interfering with your ability to get dates? Have you considered that the women you asked out simply aren't interested?



Kuraudo777
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22 Sep 2015, 8:33 pm

I think that if people didn't feel like they have to lie or be manipulative all the time, the world would be a better place indeed. Mind games just confuse and distress me. I've realized that when people treat other people like objects to be removed and not people who need to be treated nicely, than a great number of the world's problems occur.


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AutismEqualsMisery
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22 Sep 2015, 9:11 pm

AnotherAlex wrote:
I'm guessing you're a guy, right? Then you will never be called a slut either. You will never be told that "you're fun to sleep with but you're not the type of girl I want to marry". You will never be date-raped and then told that, "Everyone knows you're easy anyway." You will never get pregnant and then be abandoned to deal with the baby on your own. And so forth and so on. Until those things routinely happen to men, you don't get to tell women how they should behave in the dating scene.

I'll give you a hint: women will stop playing hard to get when men start treating them with respect. Until then, women will have to keep protecting themselves as much as they can.


Well the same can go for guys. Many women don't want to marry a man with a lot of sex partners (which is justified). Also many women (this gives me trouble) don't want anything to do with a guy who slept with a prostitute, even if he did it out of loneliness to see what sex is like. Some guys actually prefer a woman to be very experienced and marry "party girls".

The biggest problem with hard to get is that women assume ANY guy is a potential player. Any guy. Which is another roadblock to a virgin male in his 20s/30s. Not only does he face rumors of being homosexual or "damaged goods", but he also has to run the gauntlet of dirty mind games that women can play on any guy. Dirty mind games that progress from high school and college as women gain experience from dating. And they probably won't cut slack to a guy who hasn't been dating in his young years.

So if you're a guy with no experience and poor social skills past age 25+, you're basically suffering the worst in the dating world. The only thing that might f*** you is: life.



aspiemike
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22 Sep 2015, 10:18 pm

AutismEqualsMisery wrote:
AnotherAlex wrote:
I'm guessing you're a guy, right? Then you will never be called a slut either. You will never be told that "you're fun to sleep with but you're not the type of girl I want to marry". You will never be date-raped and then told that, "Everyone knows you're easy anyway." You will never get pregnant and then be abandoned to deal with the baby on your own. And so forth and so on. Until those things routinely happen to men, you don't get to tell women how they should behave in the dating scene.

I'll give you a hint: women will stop playing hard to get when men start treating them with respect. Until then, women will have to keep protecting themselves as much as they can.


Well the same can go for guys. Many women don't want to marry a man with a lot of sex partners (which is justified). Also many women (this gives me trouble) don't want anything to do with a guy who slept with a prostitute, even if he did it out of loneliness to see what sex is like. Some guys actually prefer a woman to be very experienced and marry "party girls".

The biggest problem with hard to get is that women assume ANY guy is a potential player. Any guy. Which is another roadblock to a virgin male in his 20s/30s. Not only does he face rumors of being homosexual or "damaged goods", but he also has to run the gauntlet of dirty mind games that women can play on any guy. Dirty mind games that progress from high school and college as women gain experience from dating. And they probably won't cut slack to a guy who hasn't been dating in his young years.

So if you're a guy with no experience and poor social skills past age 25+, you're basically suffering the worst in the dating world. The only thing that might f*** you is: life.



Let see my dating life from three stages to see if it can validate your opinion and experience.

1. Before 20- Had some issues communicating with girls. Never slept with anyone. Wanted to be with the women I was interested in and was usually never shy to tell a girl that I liked them. Almost all girls usually never liked me back and were ok with being friends and talking and were never ok with being alone together. The vibe I gave off was apparently "desparate and willing to give it away." Obviously I got rejected a lot. Truth is guys who want it most (and seem to really care about their feelings of loneliness) tend to get pushed aside because no smart girl wants to date a guy out of pity.

2. 20-25- Had a few dates here and there til about 23 and just kinda gave up to focus on the career path a little bit. Still had trouble communicating with girls, but also came to the conclusion at one point that it can't be just me that struggles (I mean, women must have their communication issues to, right?) Noticed that over time I was the one being approached when out at the bars (and sometimes at school and was given phone numbers without asking for it). Found plenty of women in this age group of 18-25 had a tendency to give hints rather than come out and say "I want you/I like you" Was clueless a to how to approach and obviously felt approach anxiety. Online dating was problematic as well as I never initiated contact. Lost virginity in drunken one night stand and regretted that decision for a while. Learned a couple years down the road it is simply best to move on rather than dwell on things. Upon reflection, the most difficult years for dating for young men would likely end up this age gap (especially for aspies). Advice is simple if you are a man in early twenties: stay focused on your career goals and make your money and have some fun and go travelling if you can while learning to live within your means. The ladies will come after.

3. 25-now. Plenty of dates at 25 and 26. Sexual encounters were plentiful from 26-27. Met fiance at 27 and got engaged within two years. Found better dating success among women were within 28-34 age group. Found a lot of bs with women who were under 25. Most headaches came from women who simply didn't know how to communicate and/or refused to compromise on any key issues that mattered to you. Simply learned that I had to be the one to approach for dates and contact information. Also learned to simply stop giving a damn what others thought after gaining enough social experience and also dealing with enough lies and being hurt. Learned to start being myself more and learned to see when others were being themselves around you.

Another important thing learned- if women were interested and open with me at first then suddenly changed and acted like they were uncomfortable, that usually meant they didn't trust me anymore. Could mean two things when they don't trust you anymore:
1. They felt I was judgmental or critical of them when they made certain decisions (especially regarding who they may have dated).
2. They felt I could not keep my mouth shut when they told me a secret or expected me to be more quiet (they were interested, but not fully comfortable with the gf label) as they were getting to know me.


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Spiderpig
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22 Sep 2015, 11:15 pm

Without mind games, the world would probably be a worse place for those who practise them. Otherwise, why would they do it to begin with?

Similarly, the world would be a better place without theft for those who get their stuff stolen; not so for thieves. The world would be a better place without bullying for victims; not so for bullies.


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Booyakasha
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23 Sep 2015, 3:02 am

OP was banned on account of mysogyny and trolling, here and in the other threads.