Why do bullies pick on kids with Asperger

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Iwannadie
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23 Sep 2015, 10:04 am

One must be so sick to enjoy hurting a kid who is already suffering :cry:
I thought when my kid finishes high school, bullying is going to be stopped.
I was wrong.
This year she started premed at a very good college. she is an straight A student and and has no difficulty with courses and loves her program.
But again, there is a problem with one of the student.
My daughter has to go to washroom before she gets out of the house or start of her classes, I think it is ocd, but she says that she has small bladder, so she needs to go frequently.
Anyhow, every time she goes and puts her stuff on a sit, and then goes to washroom before the class, that girl come and threw her stuff on the ground and sit in her place. even today in calculus class, she broke my daughter's glasses, and was laughing when she saw how upset my kid got. So my daughter became so agitated and upset that had to leave the class. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
what can we do??



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23 Sep 2015, 10:17 am

Ego, power trip, we are different, perceived as easy target unable to fight back.


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Iwannadie
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23 Sep 2015, 10:25 am

Yes, these kids are "easy target and unable to fight back". But if you shoot someone who has no gun in his hand, you would be called coward. So, fighting someone that is unable to fight back, is the lowest of low.



lostonearth35
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23 Sep 2015, 10:32 am

Bullies will be cruel to anyone who is different or unusual in any way. Especially if that person is unable to do anything or defend themselves. In fact, most humans are cruel by nature and genetically desire tormenting others to make themselves feel superior, just like tribes of baboons where the alpha males abuse the young males and rape the females. That's right, humans are no different from baboons. :x

This needs to be reported, but I've heard so many depressing stories where the school won't do anything or they blame the victim I wonder if it's even worth it. :(



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23 Sep 2015, 10:58 am

That seems like very odd behavior for adults in college. Asking for help from her dean, the professor, and the disabilities office all seem like reasonable places to start. Also if she can switch to a different section for the class it would be worth it to me to get away.



EzraS
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23 Sep 2015, 11:20 am

I am really surprised a college professor would put up with such immature behavior from an adult student in class.



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23 Sep 2015, 11:24 am

Uh go to the professor and tell them or to the school board whatever they call it in college?


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ASPartOfMe
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23 Sep 2015, 11:49 am

Iwannadie wrote:
Yes, these kids are "easy target and unable to fight back". But if you shoot someone who has no gun in his hand, you would be called coward. So, fighting someone that is unable to fight back, is the lowest of low.

I was not justifying it, just answering the question.


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23 Sep 2015, 12:06 pm

As I mentioned in a recent the thread some of the worse bullying I endured was the first two years of college. Intentionally blasting music all night when I Was sick, "Gunning" their cars at me and swerving away at the last second, When I reported that I was told stop making things up otherwise I would be thrown out of school., taking my money and when I reported it putting it back so it looked like I was falsely accusing a nice dude.

Solution, I transferred and the last two years of college was the best two years of my life. My dormmates were like a second family.

That was the late 1970's but "location location" really does still seem to matter in how autistics are treated. There seems no reason why, you have less educated areas where bullying is not tolerated and the so called progressive state of Masachussets is the home of the Judge Rotenberg Center, the only place in America where still used electric schock treatments.


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B19
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23 Sep 2015, 1:08 pm

If there is a Student Counselling Centre, that could be a safe place and a safe way for your daughter to report what has happened and the harmful effect on her. The Centre can, potentially, liaise with the Departmental Head who has the ultimate power within that particular faculty to bring the bully to account and put her on notice, with a written formal warning of the consequences if she persists. There are formal written codes in every tertiary institution regarding acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.

If there is no SCC, then you can approach the Departmental Head by appointment and if this is not possible, write a letter, detailing what has happened, and requesting a formal meeting with him or her to address these concerns and achieve safety for your daughter, involving yourself, your daughter and an independent support person if you wish, which can be a very good idea.

Ignoring something like this once it is brought to their attention is a future risk factor for any departmental head, so they are inclined to deal with it swiftly once it is brought to their attention. Don't feel powerless in this, you are not, use the power judiciously to achieve a better outcome for your daughter, even if it means employing a lawyer to write to the University, if nothing else works.



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23 Sep 2015, 1:20 pm

Iwannadie wrote:
Yes, these kids are "easy target and unable to fight back". But if you shoot someone who has no gun in his hand, you would be called coward. So, fighting someone that is unable to fight back, is the lowest of low.


Not really. The bullies being discussed here don't use guns or any other weapons. If you beat someone up, or kill them, in a fair fight, you're not a coward, but someone who put them in their place, and possibly even a hero. Whatever you did to them, they had coming, and you showed your merit and prowess in doing it. You showed how superior you are to them.

Of course, the missing piece in the puzzle is what a fair fight is. This concept has always eluded my understanding. When someone is stronger than me and wants to beat me up, they always find a legitimate reason and an honorable way to do it, but, when I'm stronger than them, I never feel I can honorably use this advantage against them. In fact, often they knew I wouldn't dare hurt them and they'd take advantage of this to bully me, probably feeling great because of the courage they were publicly showing in doing it.


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NowhereWoman
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23 Sep 2015, 1:52 pm

Because kids can smell "weird" from a mile away (remember the Simpsons "Bully Spray" episode?) and because kids are already struggling with their own identities, popularity, and fitting in, so they're going to have a natural aversion to anyone who's "different."

Most kids struggle with those issues, but the nicer ones - and, IMO, the more self-confident ones - don't feel the need to stamp the weirdness out so they don't "catch" it or something. But the azzhats among any given group will act on those fears and biases against the "weird one(s)".

Some kids will also do it in an effort to impress other kids. Which is pretty sad and shameful and again, would seem to hearken back to extreme insecurity, possibly even secret self-loathing.

I believe it can also happen in homes where the bully is humiliated, perhaps even abused in some cases, and needs to take his/her aggressions out on someone, but s/he obviously can't physically take on 180-lb., 36-year-old Dad, so s/he will sniff out perceived weakness (i.e. social deficits) in others, and will come down on the "weaker one" with all the strength and passion of the wrath of God.

ETA: I feel so bad for this girl. I agree with the other posters, report this! Please!



Last edited by NowhereWoman on 23 Sep 2015, 2:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

RubyTates
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23 Sep 2015, 2:00 pm

Tell her to take her things to the washroom with her and put them on the floor. It is not very sanitary, but that's what I used to do. Then, she can bring her stuff into class with her and this troll of a girl cannot knock them down.
This troll will eventually stop doing this.

If she continues, your daughter should maturely speak with the professor or dean, or someone at the student counseling center. It would be helpful for your daughter if she knew the name of this girl.

This class will eventually be over and hopefully she won't have to see this girl again.

But, I agree, what odd behavior from college kids. I have never seen anything like that while I was in college.



kraftiekortie
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23 Sep 2015, 2:03 pm

I think that girl you mentioned should be reported to the Dean or other disciplinary authorities. It's ridiculous for people to bully people in college.

It's probable that this girl has some psychological problems which need treatment. This might start the ball rolling on that.



Iwannadie
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23 Sep 2015, 2:15 pm

RubyTates wrote:
Tell her to take her things to the washroom with her and put them on the floor. It is not very sanitary, but that's what I used to do. Then, she can bring her stuff into class with her and this troll of a girl cannot knock them down.
This troll will eventually stop doing this.

If she continues, your daughter should maturely speak with the professor or dean, or someone at the student counseling center. It would be helpful for your daughter if she knew the name of this girl.

This class will eventually be over and hopefully she won't have to see this girl again.

But, I agree, what odd behavior from college kids. I have never seen anything like that while I was in college.


She went to counseling so they calm her down, and she send an email to her prof to explain the reson that she stormed out of the class.



NowhereWoman
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23 Sep 2015, 2:17 pm

Iwannadie wrote:
RubyTates wrote:
Tell her to take her things to the washroom with her and put them on the floor. It is not very sanitary, but that's what I used to do. Then, she can bring her stuff into class with her and this troll of a girl cannot knock them down.
This troll will eventually stop doing this.

If she continues, your daughter should maturely speak with the professor or dean, or someone at the student counseling center. It would be helpful for your daughter if she knew the name of this girl.

This class will eventually be over and hopefully she won't have to see this girl again.

But, I agree, what odd behavior from college kids. I have never seen anything like that while I was in college.


She went to counseling so they calm her down, and she send an email to her prof to explain the reson that she stormed out of the class.


It's possible the bully should be issued counseling, too. Something's not right there. It's true that by college age, this IS pretty extreme and odd and just "off" even for bullying behavior.