Ward of the state if you cannot keep house?

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I have a very hard time keeping my apartment clean which my dad thinks is serious. He says I should take pictures of the my apartment and show them to my mental health professionals. I am afraid, however, that I would be made ward of the state and have my freedom severely curtailed. There is something that I am lacking that I am resentful about, and I would feel even worse were I made ward of the state and forever arrested from it.

For those who needed help keeping house, did anybody use that as an excuse to take away your freedom?

For tidying up, a trick I used to use was setting the alarm clock on the oven (less fiddly than my ordinary alarm clock) for 10...20...30... mins - that way your thinking of something non-human, inanimate and which you can control - then once the alarm went off I set it for another x amount of minutes. Sometimes it did wonders, sometimes it didn't remove the sense of being trapped.

If it's a health hazard then I could imagine that being something the state may intervene for. If you can't do it yourself, have someone else do it. Friend/family/neighbour/volunteer or hired help.

Those I've known who couldn't keep a clean house due to severe depression have gotten home help (someone comes in and helps them clean once a week -- or cleans for them) or been left alone.

I have worried about being made a ward of the state and what helped me was:

1. To remember that the state does not want to be legally responsible for an adult unless it is absolutely unavoidable. It costs a lot of money just to make someone a ward of the state via the court system, and then there is the ongoing cost of looking after them.

2. Looking up the laws surrounding adult guardianship. The one constant I've seen for every place I've looked up the laws (I really only needed to look up the laws for where I live but I couldn't find them at first and thought I could reassure myself by looking for patterns across localities -- then I just became curious about the similarities and differences) is this: Nobody can take away your right to be your own guardian unless they can prove that you are both incapable of taking care of yourself independently AND incapable of understanding the consequences of refusing help to take care of yourself.

Don't let the Socialists take away your freedom. Your freedom really is the most precious thing you have,
I don't think I even need to say this to you. You know this. Without freedom, what have you got ?
But with freedom, comes some responsibility. I know, it sucks. I hate responsibility too.

It's really not that hard to keep up your place. I assume it's not a 2-story mansion or something crazy like that.
The easiest way is doing it bit by bit, and in a spiritual way , if you will. Let me explain. For about an hour or 2 a day, just section off parts of your home that you know you need to clean. What you do is simple. Just bring your body there, to the mess, or whatever it is. And sit there and look at the mess. This is the spiritual part. What's going to happen ? Automatically your brain will start analysing and solving the problem as to what you need to do. You're not doing it. Your body and brain is doing it. And this way , really, I've done this so many times it's a certainty, your body and your hands will start cleaning, doing what needs to be done. It doesn't have to be perfect, not in the least. All that needs to happen is that the mess is re-arranged, usually into organized neatness.

Do this little by little and within a week your home will start looking amazingly clean.
Everyone knows how to clean, it comes naturally and without effort.

And you can break it down to half hours if you want, and bring your body back to it later.
You are in control.

Letting the State control your life and cleaning your messes for you is stupid and humiliating.
Don't fall into that trap. Not to mention they might try to charge you for their "services".
What nonsense. Make your home YOUR home, not the State's.
There are great rewards in self-sufficiency.

Don't get discouraged. This is a learning process.
You probably will fail, get tired of it, or get lazy. Doesn't matter. Your body has infinite energy to do things.
Remember that.

Best Wishes

PS , tell your father to relax and calm down, and that you'll figure this thing out

I would think the worst that could happen would be eviction by your landlords or the apartment owners, if they saw the photos or ever inspect your place.

There are gobs of people who hoard garbage and animals and do so for years and never become wards of the state.

I think the worst that will happen is eviction, since there are compulsive hoarders who live in unsanitary conditions for years, and nobody makes them wards of the state. That's even if they've gone without running water for years.

THIS

Ever seen the show Hoarding, or Hoarders? Both of them have people who probably have worse places than you do. Your's could be that level or not, I don't know. However none of them are made wards of the state because of it. They could kick you out of your apartment or condemn your house or something like that, or you could get fined for your yard, but that is the only legal repercussion you could get from it as long as you have no other major problems that they could add on to that to get you committed. It's not easy to commit someone, and housekeeping or lack thereof, isn't a reason to.

If you need ideas and suggestions or even step by step instructions on what to do, let me know. PM me if I don't see this thread. My PM's are working again I think. I'm a housewife and have been mainly a housewife for close to 30 years with some working here and there outside the home, so I'm an honest to God expert on housework. I can tell you exactly what to do and how to do it if you want.

IF... you have a mental illness diagnosis (ASD falls under this for this discussion), or different types of dementia.

And someone is concerned about your house hold situation...
(not so much cleanwise)

You can get a visit from Adult Protective Services (if there is one in your area)

It happens all the time around here.

I've been watching the Hoarders series on Netflix. Almost all the people have been threatened with an assistant living situation, especially if they are older from their families, if the hoard is not dealt with.

I know three people, from my day psych program, that where moved from a single living situation to some sort of guardianship.

There are different levels of guardianship. Most of the time, a family member will do it. If not, the state will appoint you one.

We had a guy in our complex get removed from his apartment. The place was a pit, but he was wandering around with the same unwashed clothes for weeks on end.

No food.
Not taking his medications.
Not paying bills (except rent)

Your place does not have to be hoarder filthy for the state to get interest.

This could be serious. People don't criticize another person's housekeeping unless they think there's something wrong. I would do a clean up and then invite your dad over. Don't mention that you cleaned up until he mentions it. Then say (use these words) "I realized you were right so I picked up a bit." He should leave you alone after this.

Here's a fast cleaning up technique I learned once:

-Turn on music, turn off the TV
-Start a load of laundry, or a pile if you don't have a machine
-Throw away all obvious trash
-Clear off and wipe all surfaces (use a rag and whatever soap you have in the house)
-Shove all small items into closets or drawers
-Collect the rest of the laundry for a new load or add it to the pile
-Sweep or vacuum
-Mop or spot clean floors as needed
-Walk outside, then walk back in, see what stands out, then fix that

This should take 1/2 hour

Here are special instructions for the bathroom, which should take 5 minutes:
-use BLEACH
-pour bleach in toilet, about 1/2 cup
-put stopper in sink, pour tablespoon of bleach in sink, fill halfway with water
-run rag under faucet so it has WATER ONLY on it
-wipe mirror
-dab rag in sink, wipe sink basin, faucet and handles
-wipe toilet seat
-put rag in bleach water again
-wipe tub
-put rag in bleach water again
-throw rag on floor
-mop floor with rag, using your foot
-put rag in bleach water again
-wipe inside of toilet seat, rim
-throw away rag
-flush toilet
-drain sink
-empty trash bin

Meh I doubt it unless its so bad its a health hazard, but just having a messy house/apartment is certainly not grounds for such severe intervention. Perhaps the mental health people would recommend you get some help like have someone come by to help you clean or something.

Umm I believe they are concerned about mental health services making them a ward of the state, not particularly 'socialists' most socialists don't want to take away peoples freedom unless they are of the authoritarian leaning....but don't want to derail too much...just feel you're attempting to make it far too political.

Thanks, all. To note, I am eating, paying my bills beyond rent (though it's going to be very difficult to pay off all my medical debt), taking my meds, and making sure to be clean (and not stink). So maybe as predicted at most they will send somebody by to help clean.

SocOfAutism,

I will try your recommendations.

To be honest, you can be messy without them doing anything. It depends on how messy and what kind of mess. What they would look for if they were afraid your living conditions were unsafe for you is garbage in the house not in a garbage can, food left out, dirty dishes all over, a dirty toilet, sink and tub in the bathroom, especially if it's not flushed or wiped out with a brush, a dirty sink and old food in the fridge and a dirty kitchen and bathroom floor. It is basically hygiene stuff they will look at, not whether or not it's presentable. Also, if you have clean clothes that aren't on the floor and your dirty clothes aren't all over the place but put in one central spot.

To keep them at bay, just keep your kitchen cleaned up, but it doesn't have to be spotless. Wash and put away the dishes and don't have a bunch piled in the sink or everywhere. Clean out your fridge and wipe it out once a week. Throw out the old stuff. Wipe up any spills and messes. Damp mop the kitchen floor and sweep so it doesn't look nasty. Take out the garbage every day or every other day and also gather up all the garbage in the house when you do.

Put your stuff away in the bathroom mostly after you use it, but it doesn't have to be perfect. Grooming stuff can be out on the counters and all. Just wipe down the sink and counter with a wet SOS pad and wipe that off with a towel or rag, and wipe off the toilet and clean the inside with a toilet brush so it's not nasty looking. Have toilet paper available even if it's not on the roll. Wash out your tub or shower so it's not nasty looking. Sweep up the floor and damp mop it every few days.

Thats really all you have to do to prevent them from getting on you about hygiene. Also pick up animal crap and pee if you have pets. Thats a given. Otherwise it shouldn't be a problem. You can be messy without a problem, you just can't be too nasty if you have issues that they can use to put you away with.

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Sweetleaf,

"Ward:

In law, a ward is someone placed under the protection of a legal guardian. A court may take responsibility for the legal protection of an individual, usually either a child or incapacitated person, in which case the ward is known as a ward of the court or a ward of the state."

Taking people over by force because they're seen to be incompetent or incapable of something is socialism, plain and simple. Most forms of socialism are authoritarian, and if you know any history at all, you know that socialism's advent and birth was in WW2 with the viral rise of communism (and extreme form of socialism), that spread through many countries, russia, china, the koreas, vietnam, and many other countries. This never-before-seen rise of socialism in the 20th century mass murdered millions and millions of people that didn't conform to their system. That's socialists using force against mostly innocent civilians.

Socialism in the West came as a reaction (out of dread and fear mostly of the communists) in the form of Fascism, which, if you understand what Fascism is, is a corporatized form of socialism. The Govt in Germany seized control of all the huge and skillful corporations in that country to pool resources and create the modern war machine against the Eastern Communists. And now, today, USA being a nation historically of huge and powerful corporations, Obama and others like him are turning this country (already have , many say now) into a Fascist/Socialist Nation. You ever read the Patriot Act ? The NDAA ? This takes rights away from corporations to serve the govt, not to mention taking the rights away from farmers (the govt can now seize all grains, tractor machinery, stored food, guns (coming soon now) , and even land and other property from farmers, .... and it's been extended to the citizenry now too) . Fascism. Obama now has the same power (literally) that Hitler did. He can declare innocent citizens as terrorists (in Germany they branded them traitors, same difference), and have them locked up, tortured, and murdered upon his executive orders. Not to mention that Obama has a kill-list that due the Patriot Act he can execute at any time he wishes, including Americans abroad and now at home, within the borders of the USA.

If that isn't Fascism (which again is a corporatized form of socialism) then I don't know what is.

You're quite young it seems, so maybe you haven't been paying attention to what's been happening to this country in the last 15 years.

Most forms of Socialism are very BAD for freedom , peace, and the pursuit of happiness (Declaration of Independence).

Even socialist programs that give services , such as healthcare (which we still don't have in this country) , can be very bad, if they devolve into a form of structural violence. Like in many socialist countries where you have to wait 1 to 2 years to see a doctor. Ya, that's bad. I don't mind if they make a system where they provide you needed services (like healthcare) paying for it with our taxes, that would be a good thing if they made such a system and it worked, and everybody were cared for, but the reality of this world is that socialism (don't get me wrong, even capitalism too) goes wrong often. It becomes abusive, inevitably. You'll find this out as you grow older and realize what's going on around you.

Bad things happen when you give up control and power to govts that ultimately don't care about you.
Which is most govts, unfortunately. Because govts are really just a group of apes administering it.
We're all apes on this planet, and we need to be careful not to put people's lives in the hands of other apes.