Human Pet

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I can't get the idea out of my mind that I'm a human pet of local social services. I'm cared for and have all my basic needs met...but it isn't enough. I need to be able to go out into the world, to find my place in the world. I know this will be difficult and there will be risks, but surely shouldn't I be being encouraged and supported to do this?

Does anyone else similarly feel trapped?

I agree with you. They probably won't support you in that way because they are only wanting to do the basics that there job says they must do. Perhaps others can help you though? Us on WP can support you here.

What sorts of things do you want to go out and do?

I definitely feel like that. I just feel so trapped. Since I've started experimenting with alter egos I've been feeling more like a person and less like a pet. When I was younger I was often treated like a pet as well. Now that I know how to act more normally I deal with that crap way less.

More than anything else I want a job; I think it will maximise my chances of meeting a nice woman. However, Social Services have sabotaged my efforts by phoning up an employer was showing a bit of interest in me and saying that under no circumstances should I be employed, they tell me that I'll not be able to cope, even though I did full-time voluntary work for ten years and loved every minute of it. I now find myself on a benefits regime that actually makes it very difficult for me to ever be employed - I've been completely written off.

So, I'm treated like a pet with two support workers, trips out, a budget to go to the theatre, and a free travel pass. Within reason I could pretty well ask for anything from Social Services and I'd probably get it, yet the one think that I want, and need, so much is a job and they won't, or can't help me at all.

I feel so trapped.

What. That's insane. Did you try explaining the situation to them? Maybe you could negotiate them letting you have some small part-time position to start and prove that you can handle it?

I wish it was that easy. I'm only allowed to work a maximum of 16 hrs a week, and only then with an approved employer and with 'appropriate' support in place...which I don't think I need.

My life's not my own any more.

That sucks, danum. I wish there was something I could do to help.

I felt trapped all my life, but now I am pretty independent but it isn't without its stress / anxiety.

My parents were very old fashioned in there beliefs, and not only failed but refused to believe I may be different from other kids, back then one doctor labeling me as ret*d, as not much was known about Aspergers.

They parented me as if I was just any other kid, while this was an extremely difficult childhood I am not sorry I had it.
Any anxiety or stress I felt about a situation was counted with "everyone else is doing it, so you are to" and I had no choice.

I was punished alot, I was made fun of alot. To this day I still take crap about screaming in pain for stepping barefoot on a bit of lettuce.

However, It had its benefits, I was forced to mimic NT behavior, facial expressions and body language made no sense, so I studied micro expressions which became a special interest and many people now refer to me as the Human Lie Detector.

It helped develop what I call my force field, which helps me shut out the things I don't want to let in, but this is not without a fair bit of effort and is very tiring.

I got picked on for many years at school until I befriended (I fixed his computer for free) the toughest guy that no one wanted to mess with.

I was in a big hurry to get out of my parents place, and ended up in an abusive relationship I could not escape, but in the end I did.

But I am finally in a place I am happy, I have a wonderful GF, and things are beginning to settle down, for the first time in my life I don't feel trapped. This is where I want to be, I also think with what I have been through I appreciate it all the more.

You should be encouraged to go out into the world, as while challenging, it is also rewarding when you make a step forward and is doable.

I know the feeling way to well, the best thing I ever did was take my life back and I can't encourage you enough to try your hardest, don't give up and eventually you will find a way.

I do not mean to get off topic, but I must ask: How can you tell someone is lying from micro expressions?

Often because the micro expressions contradict what is being said. It's not an easy call to make and is rarely just because of micro expressions, it also has to do with language used and knowing the person helps to, also being really logical any flaws in peoples stories really stick out, that others may not read into.

There are seven universal micro expressions: disgust, anger, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise, and contempt and when these do not match up with the story or body language, it is often an indicator of deception.

It can also be used by asking a question that should cause a specific response (if they are being truthful) both with body language and micro expressions, when this doesn't, it can also be an indicator.

But as with anything this is not clear cut, one example may be someone who has had a story told to them that they believe is the truth as they will then display the correct micro expressions / language even though what that are saying is incorrect in reality.

Danum, would it be possible to get a part time job that social services deems acceptable, and take the supports they require? That would give you an opportunity to show them that you don't need them, and are more capable than they think.

As I previously stated, it's not that easy. I'm on a benefit called ESA Support Group which means that there has got to be workplace support in place, and so Social Services would have to arrange that as well. It's so much easier, and probably cheaper too, for them to just to keep me where I am.

When I was first diagnosed the only thing I asked for was to be able to pay all/some of my allocated care budget into a dedicated account which I'd be able to offer to employers as a wages subsidy, but I was told that many things are possible...but not that.

Would a volunteer job be possible, to prove to the people who are trying to help you (and failing) that you are more capable than they think?

Volunteering is better than a low wage job (which is what I assume you're aiming for), because you're actually helping people and making a difference in the world. Getting a low skill, low wage job just means you're wasting your time and effort making exponentially more money for someone else than what they are paying you in wages. The only reason anyone should do a job like that is out of necessity. Your basic needs are covered, so I implore you not to waste your potential on something so menial.

You have the rare opportunity to devote your life to doing something meaningful, whether that is volunteering, developing a hobby, learning a useful skill or simply living a happy existence. Please, please do not throw it away to bag groceries or mop floors for poverty wages if you don't have to. Getting a job is not the only way to find meaning and purpose in life; unless you're going into your dream job, it may in fact be one of the worst ways. You already said you loved full-time volunteering, so that's a great place to start!

I've done volunteering and received nothing but abuse from family members...because I still have to claim benefits. At the moment in the UK there is a lot of anger aimed at people who aren't employed, whatever our circumstances might be.

So you have a social situation which not only prevents you from being able to get a job, but also one which is upset with you for not having a job? That is rough

The fact that the people who are doing this to you are the ones who are supposed to be helping you is just making me more angry. Good luck!