Help me find a way to disclose my Aspergers!

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So, recently, I was hired for work at a legal transcription firm in a proofreader/court reporter role. I was hired through networking (a distant relative works there), and so far, the week of training has been going well...ish. There are still quite a few things I'm rusty on, but I also see where I am improving.

My only problem is, I haven't disclosed my aspergers yet.

It's difficult. It's hard to simply open up and say "hey, by the way, I have this," and also I've been so distracted keeping pace with the training that I've all but forgotten about disclosure. I'm now worried that, four days in, the ideal time to mention it has long passed. I'm worried about this being an issue, or of them attributing my aspie behaviour to something else. So...seriously, how the hell should I disclose? It's really bothering me.

As an aside (this will be for a future thread about anxiety, as it's been an issue for me as of late), today, after recording a transcription for clients with little supervision today, I felt a heavy amount of anxiety during my lunchbreak. Any advice on dealing with anxiety during a first week of work?

And finally...any tips for socializing with my co-workers? I feel like I could do more on that front. Socializing with new people has rarely been my strong suit, though, especially when I look up to them as peers.

Why do you need to disclose it? In my experience, disclosure has rarely been of benefit to me. In fact, in some cases, it made me the official weirdo of the place.

I would wait, until it was absolutely necessary. If anything happens just say your nervous or clumsy.

Unless something makes it strictly necessary, don't.

You don't have to socialize with co-workers. As a matter of fact, trying to hard to socialize is the thing most likely to trip us up. Just be friendly. Say "Good morning." Force yourself to smile. If someone approaches you, smile and look in their general direction and just let them talk about themselves, while making polite noises of interest. They love it.

Bear in mind that I'm a woman, so that polite nervous smile that says "I'm submissive, please don't hurt me" probably gets me farther than it will a guy.

If you have to say something, just say that you've always been shy, or you're not too good at chitchat. People understand those things without being intimidated by them. Anyone who's knowledgeable enough to like "shy" or "bad at chitchat" to Asperger's is also knowledgeable enough to not jump straight to "next mass shooter," knowledgeable enough to actually understand, and most likely an Aspie themselves.

And if you absolutely do need to report, it should be to a superior you really trust, this is not something to relate during chitchat with a coworker.

I agree with some of whats been said, and not so much with some of whats been said.

I personally have never had a bad experience from disclosing it, that said though I've always chosen my moments carefully and committed to them once I made the decision to say it. And I've disclosed it to both bosses I like and bosses I don't like. It probably helps that at least in the US, ASD is covered under the ADA (Americans with Disability Act), so I know for a fact that I can sue their weaselly black pants off if I can find even a shred of evidence that they were to fire me for things related to ASD without trying to take it into consideration after I've disclosed it. Anymore, depending on the job, I'll just bring it up in the interview for the job and be done with it, and make a point of also telling them that it doesn't tend to affect my job performance negatively, rather it tends to make me a much more consistent employee (Which it does actually do, when compared to alot of NT co-workers I've had).

I also live in a rather diverse metropolitan area where we have a rather varied cross-section of people, which Im sure also helps.

That said, Id advise looking into anything titled "Self-Advocating". If you have a Counselor or a Therapist, bring that up with them, otherwise start reading about it anywhere you can find it. Theres alot of planning that can go into Self-advocation on your part, and a big part of it is teaching yourself about when and how to make decisions about when and how to actively self-advocate for yourself. Theres also some methods and strategies that Im sure you can find about how to go about it. At the end of the day most of them boil down to making the decision to disclose though and just following through on it, but figuring when you need or want to do that is what sounds like your core issue here.

After that, I disagree with whats been said about trying to cover it up. IF YOUR ASD IS THE CAUSE OF AN ISSUE AT WORK, particularly if its related to your job performance, just tell them. You'll have more legal leverage at least, and honestly I'd wager if you're like me at all, you'll feel better and less anxious about it. This whole "Gawd who's gonna find out, who should I tell" routine disappears once you just tell someone about it. Legal coverage mind is pinned on having an actual diagnosis mind, just in case you're self diagnosed.

-Aldran

I have one coworker who disclosed quickly and several times in meetings, it worked for him. Another coworker came under almost immediate social attack, which is actually incredibly difficult to prove. I am working with him now, but I disclosed to a supervisor and took a few social dings with the kid, but I absolutely believe it is worth it. To be perfectly fair my advice was somewhat projection.

I don't know what protections there are exactly, but if the job requires social interaction and that's the criticism isn't that just like being in a wheel chair and not being able to lift things over 5 feet? There aren't many paraplegic mechanics despite what the law says.

Status matters a lot, every action in the work place generates some social shift and any move you make to improve is going to be seen by someone as a threat. The more mild the threat and the more competent you appear of the position the better.

I think a lot of it has to do with social awareness. I saw the kid was under attack, he didn't, our senior fellow is rather socially adept and despite abrupt disclosure does not display social weakness at all. I think it's great you've never had a bad experience and ideally I think everyone should disclose. Just don't get hurt, I will look into advocacy myself.

I'm currently studying autism disclosure in the workplace (click on the link in my signature line if you would like to participate! it's open for two more weeks!). I can't talk about what I've learned from the data I've collected so far, but I can tell you want I learned from researching things that are already published.

Only formal disclosure, meaning a doctor's note or a copy of a medical document listing an autism diagnosis, is protected by the ADA. I can't speak to the disability discrimination laws in other countries, but in general the Western countries seem to all have similar disability discrimination and accommodation laws. So if you informally tell someone that you are on the autism spectrum, it's legal for them to tell other people and for them to discuss among themselves what they think it means.

From what's already been published, I can tell you that some people feel relief at not having to hide that they are on the spectrum, but there is also the chance that you may feel that your credibility or capabilities are suddenly questioned. A friend of mine also recently published a study finding that people with hidden disabilities are less likely to be accommodated than people with obvious physical disabilities. This may be partially because people with hidden disabilities do not ask for the help that they need, but they are also more often denied or not fully accommodated when they do ask.

I would make sure that you are sure that you know the work environment and what you will need as accommodations before you tell anyone, and then have your documentation in hand.

[I am not autistic, but I have a neurological disease and I personally always have to disclose.]

If I were in your place, I wouldn't say anything if they didn't ask about it on the application form

Hi SocOfAutism, I'm hoping to do the formal disclosure this week if I can get everyone's schedule to align (with doctor's report, a human resource rep, and formal meeting). Do you want to do an interview afterwards? I think I did the survey thing already. Or how does it work?

I don't think there's really a "too late" time to disclose. I've worked at my company for 18 years and I am only now working on the disclosure. Of course, I didn't have a diagnosis until 3 months ago, so the delay is understandable.

I agree with other posters, though, that it might be better to hold off on disclosure unless you need specific accommodations for it--e.g., getting your manager's directions in writing, working with noise-cancelling headphones, or having someone take notes for you in a meeting. If you do disclose, I recommend the "official route" so you are protected legally. I contacted the disability accommodation representative in Human Resources. We discussed my condition and what accommodations I was requesting. I gave the HR person a copy of my diagnosis report (you will need that for the legal protection). She told me that she would explain to my managers what accommodations I was requesting, and that I don't even need to say what my disability IS. I want to tell my managers about the autism anyway, because I think it would help them understand the rather random-sounding set of requests and hopefully be more understanding. I will probably not tell anyone outside management for now... I may come out in a few months, but I've got to get used to the current situation first.

Regarding the anxiety after meetings--I try to work in coffee breaks or bathroom breaks every hour or two, since I work in a computer lab and I just need a break from the noise. I may play music on my earbuds to help de-stress after a meeting, especially since the guy in the seat next to me plays the goofiest music. Nice guy, but weird taste in music.

Regarding socializing with co-workers... I'm still working on that. I can join in on banter and chatting if other people initiate it with the group, but I'm still struggling to start out with much more than "hi, how was your weekend?" I've found if I can ask a question, that will get people talking, and I can respond to it, but initiating small talk is still hard. I'm enrolling in a social skills class for autistic people in January, in hopes that I can get some tips.