Eye Contact

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I don't know if it's just me, but eye contact takes so much effort for me. Sometimes I try too hard and end up staring at people instead. Mom says there is a fine line between eye contact and creeping someone out,lol. I'm not quite sure how to properly maintain eye contact......anybody have the secret???

...a pair of cool shades
(sunglasses, when you can)

...I usually don't wear them unless I am at home (or it's bright sunshine outside)

...otherwise, I usually just look at peoples mouths when talking to them
(quite often people don't notice that you're looking at their mouth, and it helps understand what they say)


[Welcome to WP, Nvrmind123 ... if you are new]

Its not just you.
I usually look at the bridges of peoples noses or thier foreheads. This way I don't freak out.

I usually don't look at them at all. I just glance, then look away at something else or pretend I'm doing something like looking for someone or looking through my purse. I hate making eye contact unless I know them really well, and even if I do know them well I still hate it sometimes.

I am odd this way. If someone makes eye contact with me first, I tend to look away or stare aggressively. If not, I tend to catch myself looking in peoples eyes and I think it makes them feel uncomfortable. Not sure if that is an aspie stare, but anyway...and by this, I dont mean in conversation, I mean random strangers walking past.

Haha. That's what I do too. Unfortunately, I sometimes get distracted by their lip movements and I'll think to myself "Is that what my lips look like when I say that?" and I'll start saying it under my breath to see. Once or twice the person talking to me asked what I was doing and I wasn't sure what to say so I just told them the truth. They gave me a really weird look and then kept going. XP

I definitely can't make good eye contact though. It feels unbearably uncomfortable. People usually don't notice though. I fake it pretty well.

For short periods only. I can force myself for sometime but it is stressful.

NTs make eye contact but the dont LOOK they place their eyes and try to understand the little human tricks of expression.
AS people go for the sincere literal meaning of things and we use the vision to LOOK,and analyze,not to catch hints,we want to get to the point,end the clues here buddy tell me straight up what u want if not ill get stressed out,im not here for games,life is important and i need to continue with it,and when i say life i mean my life not yours or the world's life(social life,i do care for people's emergencies) so i dont want to be friendly to you,i still wont disrespect you,but if you want me to look at your eyes it will seem like im starring because i use my eyes to LOOK.
in a world of aspies i always think there would be no wars or fights,everything will be disputed and get to a point,i dont want to fall in the cult syndrome of aspies are the choosen people of God,but facts shows NTs(naughty tricksters) do not know how to live with us.
they should change while being WITH us to give us a break and make our lives a little more light,but like they are the MAJORITY they rather not give a damn.


peace

I do make eye contact with people, but I can never really tell how much eye contact to make.

I'm better at making eye contact than I thought, but it's the talking that lets me down.

I also find it difficult to establish and maintain eye-contact. I can never really tell how much it too little or too much and usually end up staring when speaking to someone. They then interpret it as agressivness or romantic interest, when actually I'm just trying to look for clues to their thoughts so I can adjust my behavior accordingly.

I had this one class, last semester, in which around 45 students and the teacher would always sit in a circle and discuss class topics. She would force everyone to state their views, no exceptions, and whenever it was my turn to speak I would just freeze. It's close to impossible to even think clearly when there are so many pairs of eyes drilling into your own, expecting an answer! The speech I would rehearse prior to these classes would ultimatly be reduced to a string of incomprehensable stuttering. Too many eyes can do that to ya.

I tend look to the side of people and glance at their eyes quickly then back, darting my eyes around. It probably makes me look suspicious. What's even worse is people who try to look deeply into my eyes and move their head into my line of sight.

I've tried sunglasses, but it gives me a claustophobic feeling and a sense of tunnel vision. That distracts me too much. Maybe I should try harder to get used to them?

Try to mix it up - eye contact at times, looking at their mouth or nose or other part of the face at other times, and not looking at them at other times, within the space of the same conversation. This is how I do it, others may feel more comfortable other ways but this is a sound technique for not freaking people out.

hmmm, ive noticed... at least im paranoid of the thought that im stairing into ppls faces to much when we r having a 1:1 conversation, when i notice im doing this ill look away for a while, its such a hard balance, i dont know if anybody i talk to notices... but nobody ever said anything... maby im just being paranoid?

i grew up in city of 20'000 habitants i was always gullible and became aware of social manipulators only when moved to a city of 2 million and started my own life.

this is a second post of yours i've read, you seem to know how to describe the things very well...

and welcome to WP, although you are not a newbie anymore

I'm okay with doing eye contact. Its rarely hard for me.