ive been seeing my psychologist again and i learned something about neurotypicals; they enjoy being around other. and i dont mean they feel joy around other people, i mean the feeling of being with another human being relaxes and feels GOOD. remarkable.
i have always known i dont like being with other people, i mean, i have friends and i enjoy being with them but i dont ENJOY the person i enjoy the situation, (movies, video games, roleplaying, boardgames) and i do think the presents of another person enhances the experience, i have friends, i enjoy them and i love them, but when it comes to expressing affection; hugging, kissing, holding, cuddling. i dont like it. i mean i can tolerate it to an extent but i dont get JOY from it like neurotypicals do. I always known i dont like it i just didnt Know that Neurotypicals ENJOY HUGGING AND STUFF?!
at first i didnt believe it, so i did some research, when i was cuddling with this guy, i listened to his heart, it was slow, he was very calm, i told him to listen to my heart, he said it was going VERY VERY fast, because i was anxious. and i thought i was relaxed when i hugged people..until i tried deep pressure therapy, i had my dog lay on me and i hugged her, OH MY GOD. THE DOPAMINE AND THE FEELING WAS FANTASTIC. i felt so calm and so happy. and the fact that i dont feel this way with people kinda bothers me... i dont even feel that way when i hug my dad and hes the person i feel the most comfterble with.
anyone else feel this way?
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Obsessing over Sonic the Hedgehog since 2009
Diagnosed with Aspergers' syndrome in 2012.
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 severity without intellectual disability and without language impairment in 2015.
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