Autism & Gaming

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Hi, I'm new here. My name is Tom.

I am a young adult, who for quite some time put off gaming due to it becoming less of a 1-2 hour thing, to a 5-8 hour obsession, that if I'm being honest with myself wasn't so fun for the most part. But now I am back to it, and it is a massive part of my day or evening, or day and evening. I get good at games incredibly fast and surpass most people I play with in no time at all; I spend time learning the ins and outs of the game, the right techniques and strategies and have a good attention to detail. It sometimes annoys my friends, which I find strange. My friends also don't understand why I tend to take this kind of thing so seriously, which I do by the way.

My trouble is with anger and losing, and persisting until winning; losing specifically regarding bad luck. I get to a point where I just shut down and lose sight of everything, I don't move, I don't cry, I just lose my energy and sit there with what I assume is a mixture of rage, confusion, and despair. Can anybody else relate to this? I found a few articles online about a lot of people with ASD avoiding gaming due to this reason, but I'd like to know more.

Last edited by AvantGardeGuy on 02 Dec 2015, 11:54 am, edited 2 times in total.

I never took up gaming because I'm really bad at it having poor reflexes. That is until recently after a good forum friend got me into Lord of the Rings Online. It's more about developing and advancing your character than competing. But I have become very absorbed with it to the point where it's all I want to do now. That includes eating or going to the bathroom. Wish I had some advice, but all I can say is I relate to what you're saying. But god I love it so much! help meeeeee :S

Ah, one of my people. I've spent most of my life playing games and I was more than successful at it. That said, I can relate, somewhat. Rage was a bit of a problem, especially when you're at the top. Ego tends to act up when you reach certain heights so losing to 'lesser' players is a bit of a problem.

As with most things, it can be worked on. I for one have accepted that I am not a godsend and others aren't complete tools. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and I have just decided to accept every single person for who he or she is. Just so we understand what we're talking about, it's games. The point is playing, not necessarily winning.

Needless to say that gaming was a huge time sink for me. I was also very dogged in pursuing success in games. Just make sure you learn something from all of it at least

I used to have trouble with stuff like that... IRL, I already have anger issues and am an extremely negative person, as my name here might suggest. So that just made it that much worse as gaming goes. I could get pretty enraged at things, and that.... just never ended well. It also caused me to very rarely ever touch competitive games, because getting enraged at other people while gaming was just something I wasnt going to allow myself to do.

What changed this? Eventually, I got into certain types of very difficult games. I mean *really* difficult. I'm not talking like, Dark Souls here. No, the Souls games arent too tough. No, I mean way beyond that.

Lemme show something here, because it's relevant and because it's a genre I like to show when possible:



That is a game called Mushihime-sama Futari, an imported Japanese bullet-hell shmup. It is the single most difficult game ever made. Well, in it's "Ultra" mode, anyway. Just to give an idea of the difficulty... it's not the first game, but the second, the first just being called "Mushihime-sama". That game, too, had an Ultra mode. It took.... a very, very long time for me to get anywhere in that mode; and I wasnt exactly starting from a newbie perspective or anything. Crazy thing ate me alive when I first tried it. Even after months of CONSTANT play, when I finally, finally reached the final boss after who knows how many attempts... that guy, he made the rest of the game look easy. Another damn YEAR later, and finally, I was good enough to bring him down. Now to put Futari in perspective... it's so freakishly difficult that despite where my skill is now, after beating the first game... I cant get past stage TWO. It's an extreme example, yes, but the genre as a whole tends to be like this. 100, 200 attempts, usually not enough. 1000, 2000... often still also not enough. Every single one of those attempts being a game over, a total defeat. A loss. Winning and beating the game is very rare in that genre, and takes a TON of work to manage even ONCE.

After playing enough of games like that, I got alot more used to the idea of losing. After all, it happened over and over and over and over and over and over and over.... and eventually, my anger issues with gaming just collapsed. It had happened so much that a couple of ideas had hit me: 1, that there was no POINT in getting angry, 2, that if I DO get angry, the next few hours of playtime were utterly pointless, because my skill would NOT increase and all practice gained during that time was worthless and wasted, AND my performance would go down the drain, but also number 3, that if I JUST KEPT GOING ANYWAY.... eventually, I'd get good enough to triumph over things that would have easily enraged me in the past. And number 4.... I wouldnt get discouraged anymore. I could lose, and just keep going... and that was fine. No more rage, no more anger. I got into fighting games later on after having reached this point, and.... yeah. Sometimes there is rage.... but it's not from me. Opponent can flip the heck out at me, but it just doesnt bug me now, because why get angry over something so damn silly? And even as obsessive as I am about gaming.... they're still just games. If I'm not having fun, I stop playing. Simple as that. What's the point of gaming if you're not having a good time, after all? That one is something that COMPETITIVE gaming taught me, after watching people get so VERY VERY ANGRY over and over again, and wondering.... why the hell are they even playing if all it does is make them angry? Where's the fun in that?

So yeah... that's my own perspective on it. I've been a gamer my entire life and am very into it, and I've found there are many things to learn through it, and that's just a couple of them.

And that definitely becomes my suggestion, is to get into a situation where you can learn to accept losses in concept, and sorta get used to it. Each time, it becomes easier to shrug it off and dive right back in without rage.

I think one problem for some gamers (not all) is that so many games these days, PARTICULARLY the big ones, are designed to spoon-feed victory to the player. Make them feel like winners, even if the game just pulled TONS of strings behind the scenes to get that to be the case. Players now EXPECT victory, and call it skill when it happens. Give a real challenge though... and some will just have a total breakdown, because they've been trained to expect that win. Again though, not all gamers are subject to this. I only know one person that has that particular issue. But it's there.

That, though, is a whole other rant...

I used to be really good at games. I'm 32 now and my eye hand coordination is garbage compared to what it used to be. I picked up SW Battlefront 3 recently and found my reflexes WAAAAAAAAY below what is necessary for the game. The fastest shooter I can play now is PVZ Garden Warfare. Honestly, I still enjoy games, but I do not take them seriously in the least. I am frustrated easily but I never get pissed off and I don't feel like games interfere with my emotions. I've never been excellent at games, just good, and have been envious of people who are exceptional at games. The only games I have ever developed exceptional skill at were Gran Turismo 3/4 and Street Fighter 2. Other than that I have been mediocre to good at best. Lately I am bad to mediocre. Maybe it's because I don't take gaming seriously any more. Maybe it's because I am at an age where coordination starts to slide. Maybe it's both. I don't know. It's sad, really. I used to be able to dump 7 hours straight into a game and it was a nice, mind clearing meditative experience. I enjoyed it. Lately it's not like that at all.

I once started playing Ocarina of Time (when I was 16) at about 1PM in the summer and suddenly I noticed it was dark outside and that I had cleared 4 dungeons and had forgotten to eat lunch or dinner or stay hydrated. That's a bit scary, but it was also very fun.

I find that my suspension of disbelief and immersion in games has gone down a lot. Despite having the best equipment for gaming that I've ever had, I am less able to enjoy it than ever before. The only game I can sit with for hours is Civilization and even that is rare. I usually play 30 minutes at a time then shut whatever game it is down and watch youtube instead. Sometimes I prefer watching twitch to actually playing. I think I'm learning new strategies watching others and then I go and play and I still suck.

IDK man...

I avoid gaming now because I know it would become an obsession, as it has in the past. If I could somehow be sure it wouldn't get out of hand again and take over all my free time, I would get back into MMO's (only games I have ever liked), because I met some of the best friends I have ever known in those virtual worlds. It's also the only space in which I have ever been able to behave reasonably competently in a social network.

As I am currently not employed, however, this would be a really bad move. I really need to be obsessed with whatever I will do for a living, and I am definitely not good enough at gaming for that to be a good career choice.

Never ever play Agar.io, web browser game. I have had intense rage while playing it, and yet you just keep playing.

This was a bigger problem for me when I was little, because I would literally throw the controller to the ground. I'd even have an issue with Neopets games. Once I threw a nail polish bottle at the computer screen and chipped it... o_o;;

This isn't so much of a problem now, and I haven't really heard of any Auties avoiding gaming. Every Autie I know loves games. They even create them. Even I'm creating a game.

I'd say, when you feel rage building up, keep your drive to win, but just put it down for a bit and continue when you cool off.

Thanks for the replies; I don't know anybody with ASD, so it's nice to be able to relate to all of the things being written here.

"Rage was a bit of a problem, especially when you're at the top. Ego tends to act up when you reach certain heights so losing to 'lesser' players is a bit of a problem." Especially this. I'm somewhat in denial when it comes to ego; I hate to admit that I have a large one when I'm good at something, but I do.

What Varelse said about meeting friends is accurate as well; it's so much easier to communicate online in these settings, and the people you meet are guaranteed to relate to you because of your mutual interest in gaming. I speak to my online friends way more than my closest . . . Real world? Friend. It feels strange having to distinguish the two when talking about people, but you get what I mean probably.

Really interesting responses. It is really good to hear people express an acceptance about a fascination with Gaming, not just an activity.I posted a topic about HFA and YouTube earlier. My 13 yo son spends his entire day sat at home gaming. He is currently not at school...long story but its not for the want of trying.

We thought at first it was the Gaming keeping him out of school, but it's not, I think its his way of coping with wanting to be in his room all day. He started out at 8/9 with Minecraft, then worked out Minecraft Servers, then Gary's MoD, the Tekkit...soon he wanted to copy his Older Brother so it was a his difficult keeping him Call of Duty, although he plays it in paintball mode? he does like his Zombies.

he loves playing the online team game, and is quite good, trouble is he does not really communicate with the team he joined, he will figure the team objectives, even revive team members, but almost never talks on the headset or on the chat...is this the a common experience?

He is obsessed with consoles and has every version of Nintendo going, even the old ones, canr ecite the stroy line of every Pokemon game, even name the writers and inform you how many 'units' were sold in which country and when?

If you guys would look at his YouTube Channel 'WhiskersTheEvil' you will see what I mean, he can express himself in a game, can talk to the world but does not have to 'interact'.

As he has no friends at all, spends his entire time in his room i just wish he could get in contact with some like minded online friends with who he could talk about his gaming...to be honest there is enough of a real teenager inside him to not want to talk to Mum and Dad about getting Prestige on COD!! !!

I know not to post personal information so not sure if I should post his XBOX live gamer tag? Its proabaly on his videos anyway.......

BlueMax

"We thought at first it was the Gaming keeping him out of school, but it's not, I think its his way of coping with wanting to be in his room all day."

I can definitely relate to this, I could never get out of school, so I worked out ways to do it as little as I could. Even as an adult I struggled with work and often went back to my old habits that I had at school. I found excuses to hide and get out of working because being on the shop floor was too stressful for me. Retail was the only work I could get. I used to go to get water because I was thirsty, then go to the toilet. Thing is, apparently it's not normal to do this constantly for 5 hours. Gaming is a great way to just escape, I would say it is one of the best.

As for talking on the headset, I actually like to as long as the communication is nice. The worst thing is if someone complains and tells me I'm bad because I made a mistake; it puts me under too much pressure and affects my performance. It's an important part if you play team games, so I like to engage in that as well. It's not like a regular conversation, there isn't as much to avoid and think about doing in order to look interested and engaged.

I struggled with vocal chat because it was nearly impossible for me to talk and perform well in game at the same time. Listening wasn't so much of a problem, if the talk was 'on point' and people didn't talk over each other. In raids, I'd follow the instructions to the letter (and I did quite well), but small talk and banter would throw me off. I was ok with being told I made a mistake, but snapping, barking, or raised voices would wreck my performance.

For years, I told people I didn't have a mic, and so I'd communicate in the text window only. Sometimes I still do that, because the comments when they find out that yes, I am a 'real woman' make me too self conscious. Yes, I am a woman, but that doesn't mean I can chit-chat or do small talk, even in an online setting. I do better with that stuff in text than in voice chat, so switching to voice chat flattened out my in-game persona quite a bit.

That last bit is cute, it made me smile. Not to derail the thread, but welcome to WP from another newbie. Have you checked out the Parents' Discussion section yet? I think you might like it a lot.

Ah, I see voice chat mentioned here.

Cant do it myself. Never could. It's text chat for me, or nothing at all. Needless to say, I dont get into the types of team games that absolutely require it.

Voice chat is too much like using a phone to me. And I cant stand phones. Really cant. The only person I can talk to on a phone without being really agitated is my father, though I'll also call my grandmother to let her know if I"m heading over to her place. And that's really about it. Even with close friends and pretty much every other family member... I'll send texts, but no calls.

And in gaming, where voice chat can be filled with so very much anger.... it's like having a phone that shrieks obscenities in your ear. Ugh.

....though as I often say, in team games, I have no sense of tactics anyway, as my default plan is simply to charge at anything that moves, so.... voice chat wouldnt be very helpful for me anyway.

The chat thing is really interesting. As I said in my other post my son finds it really difficult to talk to us and really hates talking people he does to know well - in fact most of the time won't talk at all...and yet...and yet, he can witter on for an hour and a half about a particular level about Tekkit! on YouTube. he never talked so much since we bought the Elgato and a boom mic! I think he is the same, likes to have his mic on for team games, but to be honest just to make announcements, sometime that means he gets bumped.

Its also good to hear about the stress bit, again views differ whether extended duration gaming is positive or negative, I am leaning to the positive at the moment

I will check out the Parents bit as well, but to be honest, as I like gaming as well its good to see what others think, I can't get my son to join the forum, wish I could.....

BlueMax

Back when Phantasy Star Online came out for Sega Dreamcast, there was no such thing as voice chat for that game. Everyone used keyboard, if they even had one. Or used a controller to hunt and peck letters on the screen to type. Voice chat, or even participating in text chat, from my experience, is not totally necessary. But I don't really play online games these days. I only have such a small experience.

Aw, I was hoping we could voice chat someday.

Actually, video chat is a little scary for me. I get really shy. I'm obviously more comfortable with text chat, as well.