Misunderstanding social situations - really bad outcomes

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I've had a problem recently. I miss understood a person I've been talking to for a while and I know at college. I thought he had bad intentions rather than just being friendly and having a joke. So I got really angry at this person and asked someone else to threaten him (just to scare him not cause harm) so that he doesn't bother me any more and doesn't try to control me. I thought this person was a threat because I've been fooled by others who have said the same thing and pretended to be my friend.

Thing is though it's not like a never warned this guy. I said not to be disrespectful and to not make me angry and he knows I struggle to understand people's intentions and that I have an ASD. He knows I don't really talk to anyone at college or tell people about myself. I don't get why he couldn't just stop.

Anyways so I blown everything out of proportion and he does not understand why I feel this way but it's not like I can explain. I've lost all chance of building bridges again. I don't know what to do. This is what happens every time I have a friend. I had a best mate for 5 years till I misunderstood something and git angry because I thought I was actually in danger and never again did we speak.

In a way I feel better because this is a familiar situation and I now know where I stand. However I've been trying for so long to change and make friends like everyone else. I'm not mean usually.

Has anyone else made a similar mistake and did you fix it?

Btw there is no way I will apologise to the guy. If I did that I couldn't go back to college I wouldn't want to show my face again and this course is too important to me.

You certainly do have yourself in a pickle now don't you. No worries!! ! I have been in VERY similar situations throughout my life and enjoy them no better than you, it seems.

From where I stand, you have made the first step in the right direction, you held yourself accountable............to us.......total strangers. Now I do not intend to come across as insensitive, but maybe you could try a very similar approach with your friend and see if you get a reasonable reaction. You might find a deeper relationship develop that is more than worth swallowing your pride.

Just a thought.

Cheers,

David

If this person had gotten along well with you, the misunderstand probably wouldn't have happened in the first place, because you would have been talking and interacting more. Maybe this person accidentally triggered a negative response in you, but it doesn't sound like there was enough positive reinforcing friendship material there before the misunderstanding. If there had been, things wouldn't have gotten this far out of hand in the first place.

I understand, the fear monster jumped out and caused big trouble. It happens. Try to forgive yourself and use it as a learning experience.

You will run into people who can not respect your boundaries. You be disappointed by friends and family. Handling these social situations well is always problematic.

I wish I could have handled my errors better.

Hopefully, you'll learn from this.

It wasn't fair to the guy. I would really feel bad if I was the guy.

Just move on, though. And learn from this.

You'll have to make mistakes before you'll really learn.

At least you're developing insight, which is a good sign.

I'm thinking if I should actually apologise. I usually wouldn't but I know that I've already taken massive steps back and I'll only stay in that position if I do nothing about it.

YES!! !! !

YES!! !! !

Please try, I think you might be surprised by the reaction you receive. In a good way of course.

Cheers!! !

d

Okay guys. So I will apologise even if it's mega awkward. I messed up in the first place. Im not the only person to ever make mistakes but I think I must try to put things right, perhaps that can be done. I feel bad because he is a nice guy and had helped me. Fear is not any good it's always the cause of a lot of issues. I must bite the bullet and do it. It's not like I'm actually going to die or anything lol

AWESOME!! !!

Growth is most certainly guaranteed.

Now................go get em tiger!! !

You GOT this!!

Cheers,

d

Is actually easier if I do nothing. I'm too much of a wuss to go and talk.

Starfoxx,

Just thought I would check back in with you and see how it was going today?

d