What is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to you..

Post Reply New Topic

About autism/aspergers?

Pity parties need their own sub forum.

I was told I remind them of someone with autism spectrum disorder. I told them they have rhino esque silhouette. The order of who said what when escapes me.

My contempt dial is at a firm 5.

I guess mine is about NTism. My very drunk friend of 20+ years corrected me when I said "ain't" and followed it up with "dumb MF". She proceeded to call me a "MF" several more times throughout the night - no one else - just me. I didn't say anything back because you could see it in her eyes that she wanted to kill me. I hadn't brought my jeep that night either, otherwise I would have been out of there. It was a relief to get home away from her. I just cried for hours. I still can't believe it happened and it's two years later. I cut off that whole group of friends that night. Another friend isn't talking to me either and I don't know why, but she was mean to Ma just lately so she and her husband are on my "S" list and I stopped talking to my Aspie friend so now I'm down to one IRL friend and my Ma. I'm lonely.

I can't decide what was the most hurtful. Being told by another aspie that if I can see what I am saying, I will know what will offend him. Or being told by another aspie that real friends listen to their friends and give them support when I didn't even know how to give her emotional support because obviously listening to her rants wasn't good enough. So I guess that means I am not meant to have friends because I am incapable of being a real friend and it's a wonder why we can't keep friends so I am even more justified in not having any friends. Or my mother acting like aspies can't be good people and caring when she would say things like "They don't want to be rejected" when I told her how I have seen them being concerned about how they are making others feel or how they might make them feel or being told by two aspies to stop being literal as if I can flip a switch in my brain and not take anything else literal.

In my teens, riding with my dad to visit him over vacation. We talked about some of the conflict between me and my stepmom and my dad told me, "Don't make me choose between you, because you know who I'll choose."

I mean, I always knew. It wasn't a surprise. It was just devastating to hear it stated.

Hmm ... tough question.

I guess "For a smart person, you sure can be stupid" ranks somewhere near the top.

"You don't care about me"

I
Really? Loaned/gave money when you were desperate and broke
Listened and sympathized when you were grieving/had been hurt by someone
Fed you when you were hungry
Supported you getting that promotion
Defended you when you were denigrated by others behind your back
Held your hand when you were sobbing your heart out
Never talked sh*t about you behind your back to *anyone*
Honestly and wholeheartedly praised every wise, kind, thoughtful, creative, or attractive thing I noticed about you

But that doesn't count as "caring" because I
Honestly answered (or declined to answer) "does this [clothing/makeup/hairstyle] make me look [fat, old, etc]
Forgot your birthday
Damned you with faint praise
Corrected you on a fact
Never seem to want to go out [jazzercise, drinking, hanging out, to dinner, with a group, to one of your parties]

I guess I've been lucky---none of the most hurtful things I remember being said to me was about autism or Asperger's.

Multiple variations of this, with a side heaping of contempt.

Being told I wasn't a good mother, in different ways by more than a few people.

Considering that my children are decently well-adjusted, respectful, and talented teens who are making their way in the world even if they are a little quirky and don't have a lot of friends, I think these comments were off-base.
But they hurt, nonetheless.

being told i need to complete another grueling residency by some jerk who labeled me incompetent because i called out the incompetents in his hospital.

A person after my own my heart!

I am an adopted only child and seen as an outcast in my mother's "blood clan" family. One day while we were watching a tv show about about adoption my aunt Mabel blurted out "I'm totally against adoption". I looked at her and asked what should happen to the children? "They should be aborted because no one wants the damn things" was her answer. "Even me"? "Yes, even you!"

that is HORRIBLE. she has no heart.

Yes, horrible, but this is the family I had to grow up with.

Can't really think of anything ASD related since nobody believes me anyway but I remember my father saying "you don't have a clue? ASK HER OUT!! What's wrong with you? Just do it!" as if it was that easy for a highly anxious, bullied young adult to make that step.

I have been told by many, including my own brother than I have no empathy. I guess all the people who took advantage of me, beat me up, ripped me off, etc must all be full of empathy. When I try to point out examples of volunteering to help others (like being a regular blood donor, volunteer first responder, helping out with food drives, etc) I am called egotistical and arrogant. Can't win.

Not me personally but my parents took in my Uncle and Aunt after they lost their house due to reckless spending. They stayed with us for 4 months without contributing ANYTHING and raided our cupboards until my Mother told her brother he had to find a place of his own since she can't support two families on one income. She was seen as the Devil after "throwing" them onto the street and was completely disowned. Never mind the fact my Uncle alone made MORE money than my parents!! No good deed goes unpunished.

I will admit I have said this to my brother more than once. It does amaze me how he is a nationally renowned Engineer but can barely tie his own shoelaces and didn't not know how to pump gas until AFTER designing a complicated system for a major Oil Refinery. Don't feel too bad for him though: he used to love pointing out how stupid I was for not being able to memorize the entire Periodic Table of the Elements.