should I take legal action against my old school?(long post)

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joshskuxx
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23 Dec 2015, 11:02 am

When I was In primary school (grade 1-7) I got bullied and the teachers did nothing about it. I was insulted,ridiculed, backstabbed,excluded and psychologically abused in general. What made matters worse is that the teachers continually punished me instead of the people that bullied me even though they were at fault.I defended myself at times, but I only did it because I knew no one would help me (the teachers didn't care about bullying). alot of the time the school tried to use their stupid "zero tolerence" policies against me,this was unfair because they couldve at least punished the bullies as well, but no, they didnt. by the time I was in year 5, the bullying started getting worse. Kids would stare at me and tell the teacher/there parents that I was staring at them (I wasnt), they played games where they would run and hide from me and they would refuse to talk to me or come near me. The instigator of this was one of my bestfriends. He just started hating/avoiding me for no reason. I think I got to attached to him but this was only because something happened to one of my other friends.. and it triggered something inside me which caused me to become more anxious,paranoid,needy and irritable (prior to the "event" I didnt have any social/emotional difficulties and I could have been classified as neurotypical). after the fight the teacher wrongly accused me of stealing from him as well as enforcing rules that would separate me from everyone that I used to hang out with. I felt lonely/bored and my anxiety and negative thoughts got worse. the teachers didnt care that I was suffering and they continually punished me even though I was the victim. When I was In year 7 the bullying/exclusion became even worse. I had no friends,I couldn't trust anyone, everyone was against me and I had to come to school everyday to get threatened,psychologically abused, and insulted because of my appearance, my skin color,the way I talk and the way I acted (obviously if youve been mistreated for 3-4 years, you're going to act "different"). I used to skip class and just walk away because I just couldn't be in that hate filled environment anymore. the teachers continued to avoid helping me even though it was obvious that I couldn't handle the pain anymore . on several occasions I was just locked in the principals office all day because the b***h just couldn't be bothered dealing with me anymore. To this day, the trauma still affects me. I have severe social anxiety,sucidal thoughts,depression,anger problems,paranoia, and an inability to trust people. to be honest the things that happened over the years have destroyed every last bit of my self esteem and in a way, removed my personality/my sense of knowing who I am. my problems are ruining every aspect of my life (friendships,relationships, etc) and god knows how much they will ruin my future. If the teachers at my primary school had fulfilled there responsibilities properly, then my life would by at least somewhat okay. I want to take legal action against the school at some point, but I know that getting enough evidence/witnesses will be difficult and I would risk losing thousands of dollars. should I sue them or just leave it as it is and try to move on?



kraftiekortie
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23 Dec 2015, 11:06 am

Try to move on.



Starfoxx
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24 Dec 2015, 5:51 am

I don't think that can be done.



kraftiekortie
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24 Dec 2015, 9:37 am

Why not?

I was bullied pretty consistently and sometimes rather severely from first grade to 11th grade. In 12th grade, it wasn't so bad--but it was still there.

I'm not an especially strong person, and I react to things; sometimes, I overreact.

I just decided, especially in 12th grade, that the bullies were the ones that had the problems. They are only messing with me because they have their own problems.

And I decided...once I got out of high school, that I will not allow anyone to bully me as an adult.

It doesn't take strength--it takes knowing yourself as a person. And knowing you don't deserve to be bullied. And making sure you conduct yourself in the right way, so you'll have an answer for anybody who dares to bully you. The answer is: I am better than the bully!



Starfoxx
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24 Dec 2015, 9:45 am

Oh I mean as in the school being sued can't be done :)



kraftiekortie
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24 Dec 2015, 10:44 am

I gotcha!



A.K.
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25 Dec 2015, 5:46 am

Hey, I'm sorry to hear all that. School is horrible for a lot of us; you're definitely not alone.

If you want to take legal action, here are a few things to consider. (Sorry if you've considered them already, but in case you haven't:)

1) Finding witnesses may be tough, like you said. And you probably shouldn't count on teachers/other authority figures stepping up and talking about it, because they're the ones to blame for not stopping the situation in the first place. Then again, though, if things were as bad as you said, there must be at least a few people who would remember and agree that the situation was extremely unfair.
2) What are the legal time limits for reporting abuse in your country? Here in America, we have Statute of Limitations, which basically means that you must report some kinds of crimes within a certain number of years, if you want anything to be done about it. Rather unfair, in my opinion, especially if the victim didn't report out of fear for their safety. But this is definitely an issue to look into.
3) Evidence of damage. It may be a good idea to talk about this situation with a psychologist and get some testing done. If you can prove that you have PTSD, etc., and that it is likely connected with what happened, that may be considered evidence in court. Plus, having a doctor on your side carries some weight.

I have a bit of experience with the legal system, and I should warn you that it's pretty painful to go through something like this. You have to relive the ugliness of what happened, and then talk about it to complete strangers, some of whose job it is to discredit what you say or convince you that you're mistaken. (Ie, the school's lawyers.) It may involve multiple interviews. I'd definitely recommend researching your options carefully and mapping out what would be involved before doing anything. A legal consultant would be the best help. Whatever you decide to do, best of luck to you.



kraftiekortie
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25 Dec 2015, 9:33 am

The only reason why I might pursue legal action is to bring attention to bullying. That might prove useful.

I doubt that you would win a suit of this nature for the reasons stated above. It would be very hard work to gather evidence.

I'm one who believes in moving on from the bullying, rather than letting the bullying affect you for the rest of your life.



MissKong
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25 Dec 2015, 9:48 am

You survived. Help for the effects of having been bullied is available and living well is the best revenge.

If suing is impractical, you could always write a scathing blog post/article/oped.



eric76
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25 Dec 2015, 12:30 pm

The statute of limitations on the crimes would have expired years ago. You have no case.

The odds of finding a lawyer to pursue it would be really tough and if you did they would want to be paid in cash in advance because they would know that they could not possibly win.

So it wouldn't surprise me that if you could find a lawyer to take the case, he would do it only to take your money and would never actually file the lawsuit since he could possibly be sanctioned for filing a frivolous lawsuit.

Give up on the idea. It will go nowhere.



pro100pk2
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28 Dec 2015, 5:32 pm

I'm sorry to hear all that. :(



eric76
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28 Dec 2015, 5:34 pm

eric76 wrote:
The statute of limitations on the crimes would have expired years ago. You have no case.

The odds of finding a lawyer to pursue it would be really tough and if you did they would want to be paid in cash in advance because they would know that they could not possibly win.

So it wouldn't surprise me that if you could find a lawyer to take the case, he would do it only to take your money and would never actually file the lawsuit since he could possibly be sanctioned for filing a frivolous lawsuit.

Give up on the idea. It will go nowhere.


Ignore the above. For some reason, I read your post-count as your age. It looked to me like you had been out of school for years.



looniverse
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31 Dec 2015, 9:20 am

I wouldn't dwell on the past.

Sh*t happens. Bad stuff happens to everybody. It's a conscious decision to focus on the bad stuff rather than move on.

I prefer to learn from the past so it doesn't get repeated. Getting litigious seems more like getting revenge, and that is a worthless sentiment, in my estimation. People made me feel like sh*t when I was a kid. It was unpleasant, sure, but it gave me a thick skin and an unshakable sense of self worth. I certainly don't dwell on the bad memories and give that power to my tormentors time and time again.

As Andy Dufrense said, you can get busy living or get busy dying.

Either way, it's a choice. I choose to get busy living.