Being rude and aspies

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Hello

I read somewhere that aspies are often thought of as being rude , in the tactless sense of the word. It got me thinking . I once had a boyfreind who i just didn't get on with needless to say it didn't last long. He tried to do everything right but at the end of the day it was just wrong. Well one thing he said sticks out in my mind as it really upset me and was the cause of us breaking up , it didnt upset me because it was wrong i just felt that it was wrong that he said it . He told me that i should be greatfull he was going out with me afterall i was old and not very good looking. It hurt a lot despite the fact it was true . retrospectively he was very aspie in many ways . What id like to know is where do you draw the line between aspies saying what they think because thats how they are or just being plain rude . I hope you can understand what im getting at , i dont seem to be able to explain it well.

bb natty

In a sentence, which is all I'm capable of at the moment, aspies are capable of being rude, and we also can misinterpret others' comments and behavior as rude.

Although in this case, what he said was just plain rude. An NT could have said the same thing. Who knows.

He said that, because you were breaking up with him. I bet he was quite emotional after finding out you never liked him.

My last ex didn't like how I "Worry too much about her" when I didn't hear from her for months. I guess she doesn't want someone who cares about her.

Your boyfriend sounds like he needs to be shot in the leg and fet to a hungry shark.

I'm rude all the time. I NEVER say the right things - but a lot of the time it isn't intentional.

I don't want to be rude, but I think people sometimes misinterpret what I say. I don't know... I try not to be.

I'm rude a lot, and worried about being so even more than I manage it. I'm almost always either saying something inappropriate, or clamming up, wondering if what I want to say is ok.

I think there's a difference between rude and hurtful. He was hurtful on purpose, his was a reaction.

On the other hand, you broke up with him...so I think he had a right to be hurtful. finding out someone doesn't want to be with you, that's the hurt you put on him.....he responded in kind. You also said it was the truth.

As an aspie, I try to figure out what I should say to people, sometimes it's not the right thing. Which becomes rude, however, its not being rude in my eyes ..it's only being "true to myself". I hope these sentences make sense.

I'm not rude on purpose The only way for me to not be rude is for me to not be around people at all.

I said to a girl once in a social situation - "you think you look really good in that shirt"...

What I meant was she looked really good in the shirt but I mucked it all up....I'm better than I used to be.

Anyway, the result was she called be a smart *ss later in the night. Fabulous.

It's all about intentions- what are the person's thoughts behind the rude words.

My interpretation of what happened with your friend is that he had a brainstorm and chose to share it with you..

I never say anything rude or hurtful on purpose. I told someone that their hair looked really bad, once. I still feel really bad about it as she reacted quite sarcasticly. A nasty look and a nasty "THANK YOU". I figured she wouldn't take it bad.. she was my friend. I couldn't say anything to her after that.

I try not to offend people most of the time. Mostly i jsut keep anything i have to say to myself.......by most of the time, i mean all of the time.

oh and in the name of clearing confusions and not to just point out flaws because i think im better than you......

What I've found to be the best way to handle a situation when I say something that affects someone?

I just explain that my goal wasn't to offend the person...and that I'm "kin" to George Bush . Now that's a man that falls over his tongue ALL the time and says things backwards. People laugh and get distracted by the thought. It moves the conversation to other areas.

I think also when we say something that hurts another person....we feel so badly we can't recover. It's that recovery process that's also a part of making sure we are safe.

Think of it as a "protective" technique....why? because there are people in this world that will hurt you on purpose. Like slashing tires, etc.

Ooopsss...I read the story wrong! Sorry!

I'm also rude very often- not on purpose of course.
Therefore I try not to talk that much or try not to say anything at all.
Just doesn't work all the time, and then I'm rude again and feel soooo bad about it that it helps me not to speak for some time, until I can't keep a certain opinion to myself and the circle continues forever and ever and ever...
Just to some of my relatives and friends I talk more often.

Most of the time I don't say what I REALLY think.

If I'd say what I REALLY think, I'd be one of the rudest creatures on the planet.

i think alot of people think im rude here. no different than real life.