How to be happy-or less sad ?

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Please help with how to be happy.

I think the general consensus is aspies are more prone to depression and anxiety, thus we have to take extra measures to ensure our wellbeing.

If I can be happy, the smiling joyous high, that's great. If not, I just want this painful gnawing void to go away. Please. Thanks.

That's one hell of a subjective subject. What may make me happy might be awful for you.
There is also the school of thought that even positive emotions and states are painful, as they are inherently dualistic. You are making the distinction that one thing is good, happy, and desirable while another is bad, depressing/sad and you must avoid it, instead of viewing experience as a whole, as both, and cultivating being accepting of experience. This theory argues that the stress created by dualistic thinking is a cause of suffering itself.
Which probably doesn't help you at all, sorry.
If I can say something useful though, I find Buddhist nonattachment very helpful, when I can keep it in mind. You might benefit from researching it. Happiness, sadness, depression, anxiety, joy, pain, they are all just emotions and thoughts, passing temporarily through the mind. We (humans) tend to get very caught up in these things, become very involved with them, believe they are real, relate to them, even think they are us. Run from them or chase after them (attachment/aversion). Taking a breath and getting some perspective on the transient and highly influenced nature of thoughts and feelings, and letting them pass uninterrupted without identifying with them, helps in developing serenity at least, which according to the above theory, frees us from dualism and its suffering.

Happiness for me is focusing on an activity I enjoy, and forgetting about everything else. If I can do that for even a few minutes a day, it makes the other stuff worth enduring.

I stsrted taking high doses of vitamin d3 for unrelated reasons, and it does wonders for my mood.
Highly recommended to anyone who prefers to stay indoors.

What makes me happy is helping people and participating in relationships with my family and friends. I notice that I always get sad when I have no purpose or get too isolated.

Cool.

_________________
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Every day, look for things to appreciate and be grateful for. A sunset, a cheerful greeting, a sleeping cat. Do this every day. In a while, you will be more happy than sad.

Thanks everyone and please keep more tips coming.

Be pro-active. I spent some time learning how to install a new lamp in my living room, with all the wiring and stuff. It always was too dark, and now I'm proud of myself for having put in a little effort to have a nicer environment for myself.
I took control over something small, and changed something that was bothering me.

Some things I found that helped. Not letting other people have space in your head and not letting other people's opinion of you matter so much.

I made an effort to cut as many unpleasant, stressful things out of my life that I could. When I dissected this I realized many of these things that stressed me out were truly not necessary but other people will act like they are. For example, fighting the rude crowd at the grocery store. I can buy things online or make an order to pick up at the drive through. I found other ways to meet my need (food). If I feel the need to be out among people there are places I go that don't stress me out that meet that need.

I made an effort to carve out a few hours per week or per day to do something that actually makes me happy. I don't let other people reschedule that time away from me. I realized I was becoming unproductive and making myself sick by working or doing unpleasant things all the time in the name of doing something or that I felt like I could never have any time off.

I'm still working on this one myself, but two things that have helped me are exercise and being outside. Regular activity, particularly strenuous activity, takes my mind off my anxieties and my increasing fitness is a source of pride. Not to mention that being fit keeps me healthier, reducing the chances that I'll experience low moods caused by ill-health. Exercising outside adds further benefits. I love nature and I've noticed that sunlight really does improve my mood.

Which reminds me: if you can afford it, consider moving somewhere that suits you better if your environment bothers you in any way. Four years ago, after living in cities of four million people plus all my life, I made a drastic change and moved to a town of less than 200,000 people. The benefits have been incalculable. I felt trapped in my home in the city because I could never find an environment that was comfortable for me. Here I get out so much more because I can find plenty of places nearby to be outside without having to encounter lots of people. It's easy enough to be completely alone if I want. Everyday life in the city stoked a lot of anxieties for me, some I wasn't even aware of until they were gone. Here those things are muted or non-existent. It hasn't been the complete answer, of course, or I still wouldn't be struggling with anxiety. But my quality of life is certainly better.

One thing that helps is to throw yourself into any activity or interest that you love, if you have anything like that.

Whether what you love and enjoy is reading books, watching movies, listening to music, making music, painting pictures, knitting, hiking, a sport, animals -- if there is anything at all that gives you joy when you do it, or is your special interest, do as much of it as you can, and consciously relish it/cherish it while you're in the activity.

One of my special interests give me such joy while I'm in that moment, that every worry I have in the world completely goes away while I'm there; it's what they call "being taken out of yourself." When something is so much fun or so interesting or so enjoyable to you that you feel lifted away from all your usual thoughts or problems. Being in that zone is actually changing your brain chemistry for a while, and even a temporary change of chemistry has beneficial effects that can last, particularly if repeated.

Find an interest or activity you always feel release and joy while doing, and do it as often as possible.

Hello Evening Queen, I can just share with you how I became happy. By having a spiritual connection to God. I believe that Jesus is God, and that He exists both in flesh and in spirit. I believe He loves me and forgives me of my sins and imperfections. I have forgiven the people who have abused and hurt me, although this is an ongoing challenge for me, and I sometimes momentarily fall back into anger and resentment, but then God helps me overcome this again. I pray and read the bible each day, and this gives me a lot of peace and contentment. I personally believe, and the bible teaches, that our lives in this world and temporary, and have lots of trials and tribulations, but in the world to come (heaven) we see Jesus face to face, and and it will be much, much better than this world, which is fallen and full of heartache and sorrow.

I've come to the conclusion my physiology is f****d up. I can only get into that state of mindfulness of 'watching' emotions instead of experiencing their full-blown impact when I'm high on pot so far. I'm trying to feel less guilty and just let myself be who I am. This is involving letting go of the disappointment that I will never be who I want to be because I cannot do what I want to do. It's a very hard thing for me to do.
In short, my experience is that there's not much to be done for the plethora of my negative emotions.

via the process of mental hygiene- killing ANTS [Automatic Negative ThoughtS] wherever and whenever they pop up, "whack-a-mole" style.

Jettison all the expectations you had from what someone else told you life would be like. Forget about telling yourself that you should have this or that you should have that, or you should be xyz, or that you should be at here or there by whatever point in your life you are at right now or will be in the future.

Focus not on the perfection of the results of your efforts but rather focus on the perfection of the efforts you put towards your goals and life in general, irregardless of the results.

Find something in life you enjoy and are passionate about and go for it, regardless of what others think of you.