Repeating the question
I've read that repeating the question is a sign of lying, but I do that a lot without any intention of lying. Often, I don't get what I'm being asked verbally; when this happens, I have a tendency to move my head down and to the side away from the speaker and then repeat what I heard. If I achieve comprehension, then I will respond and look at the other speaker in the eyes. If not, I will repeat it a second time, with my head further down. If I still don't get it, then I will ask the person to repeat the question. Sometimes I find that I seem to comprehend what they're saying, but it makes no sense. If I repeat back my comprehension in my own words, they will often be sharply annoyed with me, wondering how the heck I could come up with that and saying I need to look at the context to understand what they're saying.
Anyway, when I was moving to California and entered the state, I had to submit for agricultural inspection. I answered some of the questions, then she asked about if I was carrying any fruits, vegetables, or plants. I did not immediately comprehend the question, and moved my head down and to the right, facing the steering wheel (or thereabouts). I repeated what I heard and sudden comprehension flashed in my mind. I then mentally scanned my things to see if I had brought anything like that and found that I had not, so I turned my head back to the inspector and told her no. She accepted the answer and told me to be on my way.
Afterward, however, I thought about this conversation, and what I read that says you can spot a liar if they repeat the question. I then thought that the inspector must have been suspicious of my repeating the question and then would perhaps want to physically inspect the car, but she didn't. I guess that rule of thumb is not absolute.
_________________
"You have a responsibility to consider all sides of a problem and a responsibility to make a judgment and a responsibility to care for all involved." --Ian Danskin
revolutionaryboy
Hummingbird
Joined: 15 Jan 2016
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 18
Location: New Jersey, USA
I often repeat questions that I am asked to make sure that I comprehended the question correctly, as I often don't understand the full meaning of what people say. I actually had no idea that this was something people could interpret as a sign of potential lying! Now if someone reacts oddly to me repeating a question, I'll know it's a possibility that they might have that line of thought in mind.
Communication specialists have analysed a bunch of gestures through experiments.
1/ The result of these scientific experiments is always expressed in percentages. Which means that the interpretation of the gesture is never "always true". The gestures or postures are always more / or less typical (of a state of mind or of a personality).
2/ most gestures depend a lot on the context and it is dangerous to jump into conclusions for the interpretation of a gesture.
For example, a common thought is "if you look somebody straight in the eyes, you are telling the truth".
It is actually most of the time false, because it depends on the context. The experiments are made under strict experimental conditions minimizing the context (in order to minimize the interference of other parameters).
In real life, it is never strict experimental conditions, there is always a context with various parameters.
Therefore, you can for example adopt an evasive look because you are shy, or the person you are talking to is intimidating, or this person is too much staring at you, or because something else more important is in your mind, or because you are an AS, or because it is part of the culture in your country,...
3/ Analysing a gesture also requires a precise and detailed observation.
Let's take the example of the evasive look, the interpretation also depends on the direction of your evasive look and how long it lasts, and if your head is turning in the same direction or not or is static, etc.
... wide-spread simplified ideas are often more misleading than true :roll:
I'd never heard that. Is this a scientific study, or one of those "common knowledge" things?
I also have an auditory processing issue, so I'm never quite sure I understood a question correctly, especially if it's long and convoluted. I work in a corporation, where a lot of training classes recommend something called "active listening." One active listening method is to repeat or summarize a person's question or instructions, in MY own words (NOT theirs). This is to verify that I've gotten the gist of what they are saying. Most people I work with understand this, since they had to take the same class.
I'm not clear on how this would be viewed as dishonesty. Some people who don't like it get irritated and treat me as though I'm stupid, but don't seem to doubt my honesty.
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Diagnosed Bipolar II in 2012, Autism spectrum disorder (moderate) & ADHD in 2015.
I've also read that repeating a question (especially when being formally interrogated) is a sign of possible deception. But like others here, I do it all the time. Or I'll say, "What was that?" as if I didn't hear them. Most of the time I think I do this because my brain needs extra time to make sense of the noise reaching my ears. That's especially true if the question is unrelated to whatever I am doing at that moment. I don't switch mental gears easily.
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