has anyone else felt suicidal because of there aspergers.

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I have Asperger's and i am extremely suicidal. i am so depressed i can no longer sleep. i am so deppresed it feels as if breathing is hard. i want to end all this pain. i just want to leave this world. i cant take it anymore i feel its the best option for me. i know my family and loved ones will be affected by this but i don't care i am so deppresed i physically cant function anymore. and i blame asperger's. it has ruined my life. i don't have a single friend. i never go out and hang out with people. i don't even leave the house really. i don't know how to communicate with people and whenever i talk to people i cant even hold a basic conversation. i just annoy and piss people off when i talk. i am repulsive to girls. i am 20 and the farthest i ever got with a girl is just a hug. i somehow creep them out. i don't do it intentional i don't do any of this intentionally. i just want to end my life. i feel as if this is the best option for me. i cant work or go to school since Asperger's makes it impossible for me to function in those settings. i used to have hope for the future now i don't i thought by 20 i would have at least been kissed. i have seen so many aspies and our futures our horrible. most people with Asperger. never date or even get kissed. i remember when i was 18 and went to a autistic support group. all the people were over 25 and had never been kissed before. they were as clueless as i was at 18 and i am still as clueless at 20. i plan on killing myself in 90 days ( the reason for that is a kid from my graduating class in high school recently died and people might think i did it to get attention or something) i am going to end it. dying a 20 year old virgin is alot less pathetic than dying an 80 year old one.

Please call a hotline for suicide.

They are people who know this problem and khow how to help you. They have the specific knowledge regarding this sensitive subject.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I believe that everyone should have the opportunity for dignity in life no matter what their situation (as long as they aren't hurting others) and there should be respect for the people that they are. I think all life has immutable meaning- no matter what form that may take. I would STRONGLY urge you to seek help immediately via a suicide prevention hotline/with a therapist if you have even the vaguest intention of going through with this. Your parents/guardians/family will be happier if you do.

To answer your question- yes. I have; it's not a fun place to be; it's dark and self-loathing and the completely wrong perspective to have on life.

Sometimes, it seems as if it is hard to avoid, but the thing about living with yourself and being autistic is that there's always the opportunity for growth and improvement. You should never lose hope in the potential for change and positive change in your life.

We act as if there is this special threshold that people must have for sexual activity in order to have self-worth or importance. We also subscribe to a lot of false paradigms of sexual experience and sexual scripts, but your value as a person is NOT contingent upon when you kissed someone or when you first had sex or how many people you've slept with, all of those things shouldn't be something you make yourself feel bad about.
I know it feels really important now but all things come in due time.
Also, you're very young.
YOU ARE YOUNG.
there is still so much to experience and do.
I don't know where you live, but if it is in an isolating area or place moving or even vacationing to a new area might give you a sense of perspective.
Traveling is actually great for that.

Also, a note on social skills, yes NT's may learn most or a good portion of them intuitively, but just because you have ASD doesn't mean that you are incapable of learning them.

YOU CAN PRACTICE AND LEARN ALL SOCIAL SKILLS- they are skills; it just takes time to build on them.

I could say a lot more about this, but if you take anything away from this I hope it is that: 1.) You really shouldn't end your life 2.) It gets better. YOU can make it better because you have that ability.

I hope you feel better.

I did between the ages 15 and 17. I didn't feel that I had a future. I haven't felt that way since I started Grade 12 in 1992.

Please call a suicide hotline right away. You need to talk to someone and get some support.

It does get better. I know it is very, very tough, especially when you feel this sad and you don't have any energy, but it does get better. It is possible to change things. A lot of what is instinctive for NTs takes a lot of work for us, and has to be done consciously, but these social skills can be learned. It may take time--acquaintances, friends, work, maybe lovers. There is no timeline on when you should have had these things done, or how.

I've been where you are. I thought I could never change and couldn't figure out a way to improve. Someone convinced me to see a therapist and it did help a lot. It's hard to see how many options you have when you're down, and the therapist can help you see what you can do. I've gradually learned to take risks and reach out to make friends. It will be very hard, but it is worth it. Don't make any big plans yet--you need to take care of the suicidal feelings first. If you don't feel comfortable talking to a therapist, you can talk to a priest, rabbi, or minister--most of them are trained in how to counsel people. If you are a Christian in the US (maybe other places) and you don't want to talk to a psychologist or therapist, there's also the Stephen's Ministry, which is a kind of Christian counseling. I'm not pushing Stephen's or religion, just giving you options, since I know some people don't like psychology.

hey,.. been depressed for 5 years and suicidal for 5. had 3 attempts a few months ago and still not feeling great...

wish i had advice for you bud... sometimes just talking to someone helps... dont be alone... its dangerous, as much as you want to be alone itll help at least a little to spend time with the people you love and care about.

Yes, I have been suicidal before because of AS. Even though I'm only mild and have social skills a lot of Aspies lack, I still don't make friends that well. I've always been like the third wheel in groups, and I know I haven't been the sort to stick out like a sore thumb, I still have faced rejection through high school. It's also difficult to accept AS when all my cousins are NTs. One of them showed very obvious Autistic like behaviour as a kid, but he's still always been better at making friends than me, even though my AS behaviour was MUCH less obvious than his, and I was diagnosed, while he wasn't. Now he's in his 20's his possible ASD seems to have magically disappeared, because he is always spending time with his mates, doesn't have much trouble making friends, and is able to work full time without feeling anxious like I do.
In fact everyone my age works full time. I work part time, because working full time frightens me, and I crave time alone sometimes. Well too much time alone makes me feel depressed and bored, but knowing I have enough spare time makes me feel relieved. I know everyone likes/needs time to themselves sometimes, but I get panic attacks so time to myself is essential.

Another thing I hate about AS is I have to remain on antidepressants to stop me from having rage outbursts. I'm so frightened in case they're going to stop working one day, as I'm happy on the ones I'm on now because there's practically no side effects. Except that I seem to become prone to car sickness since I went on antidepressants, but I'd rather car sickness than have outbursts, and I say that as an emetophobe!
In some ways I could control outbursts, but in other ways I couldn't. I knew what I was doing when I had them, but the emotional build-up was so intense that I had to release it by shouting, crying, swearing, kicking things, and hitting myself. I had so much furious energy that it was impossible to just calmly control myself.

But anyway, enough with me rambling on. Please don't commit suicide OP. I know AS is s**t, I won't lie to you about that, and I hate it when people try to make me accept my AS by assuming I am capable of focusing on a special interest, and using my "savant skills" to be the inventor of the world's first time machine. No. I do not have savant skills, I may be able to write a post in perfect spelling and punctuation on an internet forum, but that does not make me "cleverer than average". And I cannot focus on a special interest either. All my AS does to me is make me anxious and socially awkward. It does not make me some sort of genius, or have a fantastic photographic memory, or have special talents, or anything like that. My AS affects me more like a learning difficulty.

But when I was your age I thought I'd be a virgin all my life. Now I'm only 25 and I'm in a healthy relationship with a man. We're hoping to get married this year. So there is hope for people on the spectrum.

If you listen to people here they'll probably just tell you to get over it because there's nothing you can do about it. In other words, just kill yourself..

Me on the other hand am here to give people hope.. Yes, there's lots of hope for Aspergers people don't understand all cases but it is treatable.. Take a look at this study:
http://www.drkelley.info/2015/09/11/bro ... -medicine/

Aspergers may be permanent but at least there is research being done on how to treat the root causes of it to make you normal while taking a pill or whatever..

You'll be able to connect with others and make friends with ease once we discover even more causes.. Anyway, don't worry about it too much or you'll really have suicidal intentions..

the US suicide hotline is 1-800-273-talk.

You aren't suicidal because of your Aspergers, you're suicidal because of your depression. And while there is no "cure" for autism (although there are things that can make it somewhat easier), there are "cures" for depression. I put it in quotes because even a successfully treated depression might come back. But the outlook is incredibly positive for people with suicidal depression - if they get help.

You have a mental sickness that makes your thought processes spiral downward out of control. I'm talking about the depression here, not the Aspergers. Please get help.

I echo what the others said. Please don't lose hope

Do you have a REALLY special interest.

I wanted to emphasize: there are many "normal" who are virgins in their early 20s.

As someone who has dealt with depression for close to a decade (since I started high school), I can relate to a lot of what you say. I too have had suicidal thoughts on and off over the years, the most severe of which occurred not more than a few months ago (4-5 months ago), and believe me, I was very close to going through with it. I too have never had a girlfriend, have never kissed a girl, have never even gotten close to a girl on an emotional level. I have to say, nothing has really changed in my life since then- I still don't have a girlfriend (although this has never really bothered me), I still don't have a job, I still waste most of my life in front of a computer, I still live at home and rely on my parents. However, I'm glad that I did not go through with it. In the last few months, my depression has been at an all-time low, and has yet to show any signs of coming back. I feel like I have a much clearer mind. As I said, nothing has changed, I just have a new mindset, and sometimes that's all you need to improve your life. I'm enjoying things more, even trivial things such as watching a TV series.

There have been two minor things I've changed over the last few months. Firstly, and I know it may sound a bit ridiculous, but I've been drinking a lot more water. I'm drinking 3 to 4 Litres of water a day now. I can't express how much better I feel because of it. In the past, I used to pretty much never drink water, and I'm being 100% serious about that. The most I'd have was one or two 375mL water bottles a day. Since drinking more water, I've read about the effects, and found out that chronic dehydration can worsen and even cause depression (true fact, read up about the effects). Now for the second thing, I've for the most part stopped multitasking during leisure. An example, I used to watch a movie or TV series on one monitor while playing a game on another. Now I've turned one monitor off and just stick to either the game or TV series. The effects of this have also been dramatic. I'm enjoying the individual things a lot more, I get more engrossed in my TV series or game. And this also means I have something else to look forward to when I'm done with the thing I'm doing. One problem in the past for me was that I'd run out of things to enjoy- eventually I'd enjoy literally nothing and get bogged down in a joyless life, which makes it easy to fall back into the depressed feelings. That isn't so much of a problem anymore. I enjoy individual things more, and I get more of it by eliminating multi-tasking, it's a win-win.

Those are two things I can suggest that you try, if you aren't doing them already. Even if you are, don't lose hope. As I said, I'm glad that I didn't act on my suicidal thoughts. Things sometimes just spontaneously change, and that could be right around the corner for you. However, I also know how hard it is. When you're feeling suicidal, your life revolves around that one thought, that's all you think about and nothing anyone says changes that, it's like being trapped inside of a metaphorical black hole, the thought eats at you until there's nothing left but that one thought. However, that thought doesn't last forever, it's only temporary, I promise you. Here's a quote from one of Shane Koyczan's spoken word poems "Know that now is only a moment, and if today is as bad as it gets, understand that by tomorrow, today will have ended. Scrape the grey sky clean, realise every dark cloud is a smoke screen meant to blind us from the truth. And the truth is, whether we see them or not, the sun and moon are still there, and always, there is light." I definitely recommend watching some of his YouTube videos, especially "To This Day".

All I can do is say that I hope you make the right decision, and that you push through those suicidal thoughts.

This is just something that doesn't come as easy to us as it does to NT's.

It's not insurmountable.

You can win. You can beat this. OK, you may not get hot dates with beauty queens, but there are women out there that will want you. They're not easy to find, but they are out there.



Being a virgin at an advanced age is not pathetic.

Don't listen to the schadenfreude people.

Keep living and don't let the bad guys win.

I'm not sure if it will help, but some people have started posting things they do that help when they're really depressed.. viewtopic.php?t=303887
I hope it does.

dying a 20 year old virgin is alot less pathetic than dying an 80 year old one.[/quote]
how would you know?
How would you f*****g know That?
I'd rather be a dying 80 year old one than a pathetic 20 year old virgin
that's too scared of life to live
and yeah I think about killing myself everyday
but I just think about it,I don't do it
because when people like you are still alive at 80
I might have some one to talk to

It sounds like to me that you are severely depressed. I have been severely depressed numerous times. When I use the word depressed, I am not talking about being sad. I am talking about a serious physical disease that expresses itself in negative obsessions, no energy, low-self esteem, shame, hopelessness. I must reiterate, SEVERE DEPRESSION IS A PHYSICAL ILLNESS. It usually responds to anti-depressant medication. Please seeks psychiatric help ASAP! You will feel better. You will have a chance to find solutions to your problems.

When I was your age, I had the same problems. Now I am not a virgin (although I thought I would be a virgin forever). I have a college education and a career (even though I thought I was useless and a complete failure when I was your age). It's not magic. It is because I go to therapy and take medicine. I work hard even though I have aspergers, depression, anxiety, and other issues. Give yourself a chance. You never know how your life will turn out.