Biphobia in the gay community

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I find such hypocrisy when some gays bully bi's. They do the same discrimination some straight people do on to them!
I went a certain gay chat site. I casually mention I was bi (big mistake!) while talking on the topic at hand getting along with the people there then. Next minute I was called a sl*t, fake gay, bitard, insults thrown at me until I left I was so upset!

Sorry you were hurt by these people's behaviour, but I'd just find that amusing. Outright stupidity often is scoffable after all. I mean come on, "Bitard"? Really? I hope these people were teenagers, at the oldest. If it makes you feel any better I secretly (and sometimes not so secretly) envy bisexual and pansexual people. Maybe that's the basis of their hostility? It would be wonderful to find both genders equally sexually attractive. I'd just count yourself lucky and shrug them off

IKR? lol what kind of an insult is that? Could be, but I think it is the stereotypes they believe in. That bi's are sl*tty, cheaters, date same sex then go back to straight relationships, that we are trying to make them bi take away their identity lol.

IMO, it's very ironic that gays and lesbians treat bisexual people like dirt. My GF and I are both bisexual. She introduced me to other people who identify as bisexual and I get along just fine with them.

It is isn't it? I find it so funny and annoying at the same time! Awww thats good!

You have to remember: the Internet seems to bring out the Idiot in some people.

LOL very true it shows people's true colours the internet!

I am a 34 year old out lesbian who has little to no sexual or romantic attraction (so I guess that kind of makes me an Ace?) Anyways, people can just be mean. You sound real upset but I'll tell you. In the 2 decades since I have been out I have met plenty of bisexuals who have treated me crappy and have said worse to me than the things you typed, but I am not minimizing your experiences. Just letting you know there are ignorant folks in every crowd. I don't feel bisexuals have been mean to me due to what they go through. I think it's lack of understanding and I do always happen to meet the sexually stereotypical ones. I personally feel that those in any group who embody stereotypes cause problems for everyone else in the group. They parrot the same stupidity that straight people, and even many in this community (if you can even call it that) do.
I'll list some of the nicer things they've said to me , such as :
"Were you molested as a child?"
"Every woman is sexually fluid, you just haven't found the right guy yet."
"I don't really think there's any such thing as a lesbian"
"You're a lesbian? Omg you're so pretty." (sounds like a comment but this is actually as bad as bi erasure, this is lesbian erasure)

My point is, there are lots of mean people in this world and like to take out their own issues on others. I have a bisexual Aspie friend and for her, she'd rather go through all the biphobia in the world than to deal with how people (including NT bisexuals) have treated her) Everyone is different though.
I find that people are much nicer on WP and I feel comfortable here. Most of the time people get along regardless of sexuality. Maybe those NTs could learn from us haha. I generally stay away from the mainstream LGBT groups. Too much drama, too much finger pointing, too much deflection away from issues like racism and exclusion of the disabled (We can talk about any kind of phobia you can think of in LGBT, but never about the injustices our ethnic and disabled LGBT members or how we exclude them) All they mostly do is complain about who has it the hardest. It angers me. At the end of the day, if someone is able bodied, white and NT regardless of sexuality, they really DON'T have it so bad.

I hope you can find a bi site you can be comfy on, but too many of those sites (like the lesbian, gay and other sexually oriented sites have) there's usually lots of bashing that will eventually occur of another group that is not a part of yours. This is due to anger, jealousy, rejection etc.
Take care,
Jenna

People horrify me. I never had anything against "bisexual" individuals or LGBT considering I am a gay man myself. My ex boyfriend was Bisexual, I never saw that as a concern for anything. Everyone has a sexuality regardless of a label, even asexual is a valid sexual orientation.

In all, aside from labels, we all lie on a sexuality spectrum.

I agree. I consider myself straight, but if I found the right person, I'd probably date a woman. Personality can be more important than gender, I think. I'm not 100% heterosexual in that case, am I? I don't think it even really matters; it's only a label.

I don't think anyone should be limited by labels. I think many people (including "straight" people) do fall somewhere between the two ends of the spectrum, instead of being 100% heterosexual, or 100% homosexual. People just usually fall closer to one end or the other.

Considering a fair number of polls in the last 5-8 years have found that anywhere from 30% to 50% of people under 30 do not consider themselves "100% heterosexual"...perhaps it's largely those at the extremes - who had to fight to get there - that think so poorly of bisexuals as to say so, or treat them so? To me that would indicate some sort of fear or insecurity. Not in their own sexuality, but in their social position and as part of some assumed binary (that somehow does something for them).

My advice?

Learn to pick and choose your battles. Someone who would attack you so ruthlessly online without knowing you is clearly not worth taking seriously.

Being autistic I trust you are a visual thinker right?

Imagine the negativity that person sent you was a ball of brown poop. Now imagine that they could only get you to smell like poop if you grab the poop ball from them. An emotional reaction that compromises you is you taking the bait and smelling like poop. It's what they wanted - essentially to share their poop ball with you.

If you reacted, an evil troll got its horns and was awarded a long anticipated ticket to an executive position in hell!

That being said, there are clear and obvious resentments that gays have for bisexuals. Most whom have been burned by bisexuals who do not know the difference between hetero-romantic and homo-romantic.

SOME Bisexuals, in their immense cluelessness, damage and break the hearts of actual gays and lesbians everyday including heterosexual men and women.

But gays do this too. And heterosexuals do this too. So it's not a bisexual problem. You just have to assume that anyone who feels so is just ignorant or trying to protect him or herself from something. Remember other people's aggression and passive aggressiveness is theirs to deal with. Make them keep that stinky poop ball until they compost it into something pleasant! Don't touch it until it's a flower or fluffy p**** willow.

My first boyfriend was bisexual and I honestly didn't care. But he knew he wanted to be with a woman and not a guy, so he was hetero-romantic but trying to be homo romantic. He stretched out our relationship for 6 and a half years. Checked out a good 2 years before our relationship even ended. I would find ok Cupid accounts with lengthy conversations with females asking if they were looking for boyfriends. How he wanted to get married and have kids.

It broke my heart because not being able to give him children was a huge concern of mine.

He was socially awkward, failed at attracting females, so always ended up with guys instead.

So it was clear to me I was there to give him the confidence to find what he really wanted. After building the courage to address it, he confessed his need to have a wife. Relied immensely on me for emotional support to help him break up with the next 2 guys he dated after me and the ongoing gay f bud he used to cheat on me with too.

Finally he found a younger girl in the same boat. A bisexual girl who really wanted to be with a guy instead of her partner who she adopted a kid with two years before. They are so happy after ruining families and lives.

But my gay brother in law left his wife for my friend.

My older brother left his girlfriend for a women he got pregnant.

I even once told I guy didn't think I like that I was afraid of his HIV. Gave him a huge breakdown and he had to get therapy again after making peace with his illness.

s**t happens. We move on and don't smear the stinky clump on others.

Yes I would never date a bisexual again, meaning I have prejudice. But I can always be a bisexual persons friend.

I'm just waiting for others to reach that point too.

This is a big problem-- biphobia in the LGBTQ community. Biphobia in the straight community. I think it's completely wrong. When I was in community college in the PRIDE club, that was something we constantly brought up. That biphobia needs to be ended especially starting in the LGBTQ community. This also goes for the T the T isn't as widely known either or Asexuality and everything else under the umbrella in the LGBTQ community.

Just know that not everyone has biphobia. Also, I feel when people don't understand things they are ignorant towards it. For a lot of people I talked to; they see bisexual and polygamous as the same thing which confuses them.

I am sorry you having this phobic ignorance happen towards you.