Is there hope or should I just give up?

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I am turning 28 this year and I am still lonely, depressed, and confused as I was when I was 18.

I learned I was an aspie when I was 18 which was also when the clinical depression I've been suffering from really kicked in. A big part of the depression comes from not having a girlfriend and reading that many aspies remain single for life didn't help me. There are other things that get me down but being single in a world where it seems everyone has coupled in really destroys me more than anything.

I've tried to do things to get out of my situation. I changed my clothing style (T-shirts to casual stuff like polo and button ups but that didn't change anything), going to a gym (Kept myself from getting obese but I am still overweight and have underdeveloped muscles. My genetics probably suck), went to social events even where I didn't feel comfortable (Church and bible study especially), and went to college (No different than high school socially and I got bad grades in courses that I thought would be my niche). I have banged my head against a wall so much that I wonder why the pain and stress hasn't killed me.

There's more to my situation but I can only write/text so much before I get overwhelmed. Is there any hope for me or should I just give up?

I wouldn't give up. I often feel the same way. Be patient with your self. You are a much better person than you may feel at times. You will find someone.

Besides not fitting in with the culture I was born in to (Central Texas Bible Belt), my biggest obstacles are fear of rejection, high social anxiety, and difficulty staying in the present moment. I also don't know if a girl I am interested in is single or if she's interested in me, especially because the gender roles around here force the man to always make the first move while the woman can just wait.

Don't ever give up.

Don't give up. There are lots of people, even NTs, that don't meet "the one" until their 30s, 40s, and sometimes even 50s.

I don't want to give up but not having good results come up makes it hard to feel hopeful.



I do have a friend who is older than me and is single but it's mostly for religious reasons. I envy those kinds of people sometimes because they can put their focus on other things but I can't because my social life was very unproductive and I want to break out of the cycle of perpetual loneliness (I go to work and I have family around but my friendship circle has shrunk as the years have gone by) I am in.

^Hugs for you!
As Aragorn rightly says in The Two Towers: There is always hope.

Thank you! *hugs back*

I hope it isn't from not trying hard enough but from being in the wrong place. In the Bible Belt culture, despite claiming to be moral and upright, 99% of socializing around here revolves around binge drinking, heavy smoking, extreme football fanaticism (It's more important to a lot of people than their faith in God despite how they swear up and down they are Christian), reckless driving, and blasting country music. I don't fit in with the culture at all because it feels oppressive and toxic.

The way I found my special someone was by writing down a list of all the positive traits of a partner I wanted, but kept everything in the present tense to affirm that "I have the perfect partner". That way, my dreams became a reality. It worked for me, anyway.

I am sometimes told to see the bigger picture but I never could figure out what that means. It feels like humanity is based around social interaction and I am deprived of it so it feels like I am a malfunction.

My therapist tells me to stay in the moment and that my past shouldn't define me. I missed out on the psychosocial moratorium but I want to know if I have another chance to learn the dating game and to achieve my dreams.

As long as you're not lying on your death bed, then it's never too late for anything.

Why? 0.o

^Hope is honestly a lot better than being depressed. I know that fact well through experience.

Easier said than done, though. Where I am from, you are considered 'weird' at best and 'satanic' at worst if you don't fit the mold.

^Is there any chance that you can get away and find a better place to live?

My obstacles are money, overprotective parents, not having a degree, and my low self-esteem.

These are also considered red flags in regards to establishing relationships. I don't think it's my fault, though. I was born into the most mentally unstable and oppressive culture of the US. Instead of helping me become my own person, I was punished for not fitting the mold and was expected to take the beating until I enjoyed it.