Do you ever think you give the 'creep' vibe?

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Having been on various friendship finder sites and no luck, I think (as a female), the problem boils down to a vibe I give off...

I work SO hard to edit everything I write, because what I naturally write is so off-putting that I will spend literally hours on one or two paragraphs (not kidding!)

After I read the whole thing over and then hit 'send', I think what I write sounds hopefully "normal"...

But what I am overlooking must be a vibe that I give off in writing and probably in person.

It is that I think I give people the creeps.

It is that horrific combination of perfect spelling and lack of an empathic style. And, right or wrong, I think most people expect a more 'feely' style in a woman.

So two questions here that I'm wondering if you can relate to:

A). Do you think your social difficulties stem from a bad vibe you give off?

B). Do you spend an inordinate amount of time editing things you send to other people because your natural communication style is very off-putting?



p.s. All genders, please respond....even though i'm ranting about my own issues here, interested in feedback male or female

I'd like to know.

I think I give off an "abnormal" vibe too. I think it's because I'm too friendly or naiive, have a weird sense of humour, stim a lot socially awkward.

On other sites (besides WP) I feel I cannot connect well with others. I quit making jokes because those seem to flop more often than not. I identify with what aspergirl16 said about having a "weird" sense of humor.

I think I also give off a weird vibe because I like to discuss facts more than opinions. Someone may want to discuss their views on gun control and I just want to relay historical information about the issue. I usually only form my own opinions after completely absorbing a topic for some time.

On Twitter I like to jump right in and try to get to know people and I know there's a slower pace you have to take initially to make friends. I haven't got the hang of that pacing on social media. I can do that fairly well IRL but not so much online. I probably reveal too much about myself too early.

You didn't come off as creepy in your post, btw. It sounded just fine to me.

I've long resided in the creepzone, took me 9/10ths of my life to find a comfortable spot in it.

A) My social difficulties stem from having limited social skills and as a result I tend to be very quiet and introverted. Don't think I give off any kind of creepy vibe though.
B) Yes, I have a tendency to write very formally, often to the point that I have to spend extra time editing it to sound more 'casual'. Eg; replacing "going to" with "gonna".

Yeah, I do the replacing of "going to" with "gonna" or something very similar... (Have noticed NTs have this shorthand way of communicating)

PS. Thanks all for the feedback, glad i don't sound creepy to everyone

I agree to a point. I wouldn't call it a 'bad vibe' however, because to me that means they'd feel unsafe or concerned. I would just call it an unappealing or uninteresting first impression.

To answer your questions:

A) I think the uninteresting first impression stems from my social difficulties, rather than the other way around personally.

B) Absolutely, almost everything I write I analyse every single word to make sure it comes across "normal" (I've always done this, even prior to being diagnosed, so it's probably on a subconscious level). I even consciously think to myself "I should stop over analysing this", but if I don't then there's just a giant mental forcefield around that "Send" or "Reply" button.

I am a neurotypical sociologist who studies autism from a minority standpoint, for anyone who doesn't know me. I have heard other neurotypical people discuss autistic people behind their backs many times.

I have heard young women (never men) refer to young aspies (never auties) as "creepy", either gender, but never an older autistic person. Say, never a person over 40.

I have never heard any person over 30 refer to any autistic person as "creepy."

I have never heard this in regards to online conversations, just in person. I believe the creepy judgement had to do with where the aspie was standing, how long they were hanging around after socialization was finished, and how well they were accomplishing small talk.

I have actually been studying this for awhile, and it's my opinion that the "creepy" feeling comes from the neurotypical getting the subconscious idea that the aspie is pretending to be a regular person. As if a spy from a different country showed up in their social circle, dressed normal, except he clearly didn't know what a telephone was and his pants were on inside out.

But I've noticed in these online discussions on various pages that NT's are quite nasty themselves. Namecalling all the way. As for the creep vibe, many seem to get creeped out if I maintain eye contact. Which is also something we're supposed to do?

I sometimes give off a creepy vide, but that has never bothered me.

_________________
Ya, I'm weird like that...

I embrace and own my creepiness it is the way god made me most importantly, I am NOT creepy to ME