"Easy" questions

Post Reply New Topic

Hello, How was your day?

People ask those kind of "easy" questions :
How was your day? How was your holiday? How are you? What did you do this week-end? What is your job?

I am personally puzzled by those "too vague" questions. Actually, by most of the questions, i always find them too vague and too "difficult". It would take hours to give a correct answer... i don't have a global opinion of my "day", my "holiday", "how i am", my "week-end".

Are those questions also making you uncomfortable?

Just answer "fine" for all but the last two then answer as literally as possible.

Those are not as bad as "what's the word?"

Folks you havent seen for a while will shout that to you to be friendly.

But Ive never been divine HOW you're supposed to respond to it.


At least all of the "How was your...[day, weekend, holiday, etc]" questions I know how to respond to. You can either spout the stock answer "fine" to be rid of the question, or you can be honest and actually briefly sum up how they actually were ("kinda quiet", "GREAT!", "lousy", "Okay", "stressful")whatever. And then you can sense if the person is really interested in actually discussing "how your holiday" was, or not. And continue in that vein, or not, if you're interesting in doing that, or not.

If I'm true to my nature, few questions are easy, I tend to assume they want a literal answer, but usually that "how are you?" thing is just a formality, and mostly the required answer is "fine, how are you?" So I just deliver that, and above all else try to keep it brief if I do say more. It doesn't make me uncomfortable now I'm used to it.

I used to give very long answers to those questions too (every little thing I did this weekend, exactly how I am feeling, etc.) I eventually noticed that people gave very short answers to these questions and generally didn't include any negative information. "how are you" gets "fine, how are you?" and "How was your weekend" gets "good, did [some short answer]"

"How was your day" and "How are you" I find tiresome because I get tired of saying "good" all the time. But most of the time I don't have a clearer evaluation of how my day was than "good", or don't feel like going into detail. When I was younger I was seemingly incapable of answering the question any way other than "good". I think I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself or something.

"What's up" is another hard one because it's so vague, and there's usually nothing really going on. So I just answer "nothing" when I can't think of anything interesting to say.

"How was your weekend?" is difficult too, because I don't know what to say. Should I say everything I did from the time I got home from school Friday to the time I went to bed Sunday? I usually just say the most interesting thing. But it's still awkward. Even worse is "What are you doing this weekend?" because usually I don't have anything planned, but saying "nothing much" or "I'm going to spend time at home" sounds awkward.

Here in Norfolk, UK, there's a common greeting which goes; "Wot yer say?" to which the correct answer is: "Not a lot".

I have a love-hate relationship with these sentences.
They are useful sometimes just to say hi, but when I'm asked them, I often don't know a good answer. I hate it when I'm asked "how are you" when I'm actually confused about how I'm feeling.
Sometimes I can just say "fine", but at other times I feel incredibly phony, I feel like a liar.
The answer doesn't satisfy me. I get cognitive dissonance of what I'm actually feeling and what I'm saying, it's horrible.

For some reason "Hey! What's going on?" seems to be the equivalent of "Hello." (just hello). I don't like that, I feel strongly compelled to explain what I'm doing and to reciprocate by asking the same question back.
I'm getting more used to it the more I'm exposed to it, but I still don't like it at all.

When someone asks "how was your holiday?"/"how was your day?" (really dislike this question a lot)/etc., I often have nothing to answer.
I'm taken by surprise by the question and I hate answering with "good", but I just can't conjure the energy to think about my holiday (anybody else too?).

I notice when I'm asked these questions, there's often a marked delay in my response.
I have to parse the words and once I've done that I get a horrible feeling, because it's one of "those" questions again and I can tell it will suck to answer because it's not automatic, so I'll actually think about if, if I want to or not doesn't matter. My mind can't just shut down what I've subconsciously understood. Even if I answer "fine", I'll keep thinking about it.

So:

There are no easy questions for me to answer, other than purely factual ones.

I always answer truthfully, which surprises a lot of people, as if they expect me to say 'Good'.

This scenario used to bug me-

Them: "How was your weekend?"

Me: "Okay."

Them: "Only 'okay'?"

What's wrong with 'okay'? I would say by definition 'okay' is average. Every weekend can't be "AWESOME!! !!".

But that wasn't as bad as them asking "What did you do last weekend?". I didn't go on any dates or to any parties. I washed a load of whites and found a partner for an odd sock. I went through my mail and paid my bills. I watched a DVD. I didn't want to say that, so I said "Not much."

People want a good story, but my life didn't fit that pattern. I guess that's another reason I'm not on Facebook.

Whenever someone asks 'What's up?', I always answer them literally.