Hello. I'm 55, female, married 19 years, and have a 13 year old daughter.
My daughter has a Specific Learning Disability in the area of Oral Expression, ADD, Anxiety, a little OCD, and extreme social difficulties. Her psychologist says she is HFA.
So, autism becomes my next special interest. I can become a pseudo-expert in anything, just ask my husband. He really gets tired of what ever my current "thing" is. In my research to learn if my daughter is HFA, I see myself in almost everything I read. I begin to wonder if she caught it from me? Not in a genetic way because she is adopted but from living with me, growing up with me, could she have just picked up my quirks and maybe I'm the one that's autistic?
Although that's an interesting thought, I really don't think so because my husband is as "normal" as they get. A real man's man. Everybody loves him. He has tons of friends. He can talk to anyone for hours and they to him and a good time is had by all.
I'm sure I am an Aspie. I started talking early and never shut up. Every report card I got from K-6 says "talks too much." Straight A's but only satisfactory in Citizenship because I always "talked too much." I loved math, numbers fascinated me, they still do. I love math. It works. I like physics too. Nobody ever told me I was a genius or anything but I am very intelligent.
I would say I am high functioning if everything is set up and all organized but when things aren't I do not do well. I do not do stress well. I am very easily overwhelmed. I relieved my stress with alcohol for many years but haven't drank for over 15 years. Now that I don't drink, I have meltdowns when things are not right. 55 years old and I have meltdowns, like a three year old. My daughter doesn't have meltdowns, she shuts down.
I don't do well with friendships. I say the wrong thing without realizing it a lot and my friendships don't last long. It's ok by me because I like to be alone.
The eye contact thing. I have no idea what "normal" eye contact is. Do people not on the spectrum have to worry about if they are doing eye contact correctly?
There are so many things about life I did not understand until I got them wrong and was told. Now, I look back and they are things that should have been obvious. You know, those unsaid things that people figure out for themselves.
I need my routine and I need my alone time and I need things to be in order. Do not touch my things.
I have wicked ADD but I can also hyper-focus. So, I can do one thing but you better leave me alone while I do it.
So, I think autism couldexplain why my life has not gone as smoothly as I would have anticipated. Why I look at the people I know and wonder how they work, keep their house clean, and cook, and have time to do other things, and I don't work and can't manage to do any one of those things successfully? I am not unintelligent, just inept.
I will probably be sorry I wrote all this because I must have said something wrong but that's ok.