does anyone else on the spectrum cut themselfs?

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I dont know if this a touchy or personal subject for some people, i just wanna know..

Anyone else cut themselfs here? or is it just me?



I guess maybe the question should be; has anyone here on the spectrum been so low they attempted suicide or taken up self harm?

i started cutting myself when my friend did in 2009; i guess i did it to fit in at first but i also cut myself during meltdowns... i dont know why i do, i just do sometimes... i cant really think of a reason why. I do know there was once that i did it because it was a suicide attempt (note the deeper scars on my wrist)

Am i alone on this?

Many people.....on the Spectrum and NTs.....self-harm. People talk about it here on WP all the time. My high school girlfriend self-harmed.

Yeah i get that, i was wondering if anyone here is or has ever cut before?

At least five people on WP self-harm.

If you go to the Schizophrenic sub forum, you'll see threads about this.
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I started at age 12. You should see my scars. I look like a freak

I tried to stop. I've gotten better, but I become so upset, that I feel like I'm going to explode. I can't let myself yell, scream, hit people, or break things. I just have no way that I'm allowed to let it out, and hurting myself calms me down really quickly.

I only do it every few months or so now, and I don't do nearly as much damage as I used to. I do as little as possible, just enough to calm me down. But it's too late. The scars I made when I was young are here to stay.

Why do you cut yourself?
I have never understood why people cut themselves.

I used to have a bad self harm problem.

I was given cognitive behavioral therapy to help me stop.

But now I feel like starting again.

I've never attempted suicide, I'm too curious about what will happen next, but I do self harm... I used to cut and still would if I didn't have to go to the doctors at all. I've been terrified someone would see if I did since my mom found out. Now I mainly just scratch myself in the same place until it bleeds. Its less dangerous and actually more painful, which is usually what I'm doing it for anyway. I still get the urge to cut and have thought about doing it again when I move out, I know that sounds horrible...

I thought about not posting this, but I thought I'd share anyway. I've never really told anyone...

For a long time, I was able to deal with the urge by putting rubbing alcohol on my existing injuries (usually where my pets accidentally scratched me with their toenails). Hurt like heck... at first! After a while I started getting used to the rubbing alcohol! Both fortunately and unfortunately, the urge to actually cut myself always seemed to happen when I didn't have a blade available, such as when I was at work.

As long as I'm on treatment for depression, it never seems to get that bad any more.

From my experience, it's just a really extreme version of stimming. It feels exactly like a stress-related urge to stim, except a lot worse, and normal/healthy stimming just isn't "strong" enough.

I compulsively chew my cuticles and the inside of my mouth, but that feels different.

Really hard to explain. I actually had to think about it for a long time before I had somewhat of an idea.

I get upset, and I feel like I cannot calm down. Usually feelings of extreme anger, hurt, or sadness. Often it's a mixture of all three. So, I can't get rid of these feelings. It's really painful and I'm so distressed that I can't contain it. I used to act outwardly. I would scream, hit, throw things, etc. All when I was a kid and very young adult. Now I can't do those things.

I started as a kid. I did it at first to see what would happen, I guess. Then I realized that it made me feel better. I had no real outlet for my feelings, and no one to talk to. Also I didn't even really understand my feelings. So it allows the feelings to get out, in a way.

It gives me something to focus on also, which calms me. The physical pain is not great. It's almost like I'm hypnotizing myself. It works very quickly.

Also, sometimes I feel like I hate myself. I have been told that I'm no good by basically everyone for most of my life, either directly or indirectly. So I'm also expressing that feeling.

But I've gotten so much better at keeping myself from doing it. It's a rare thing for me to do now. I've been doing better for about 10 years or so.

Sometimes I feel like doing it - I feel so ugly on the inside, that I would think I deserve to feel pain and look ugly on the outside too. However, I cannot bring myself to do it, I hate sharp objects and I don't like pain very much.

So it is a way to release bad feelings, I see now.

Yes, I believe it also allows my brain to come down from a highly distressed state, not just to relieve bad feelings. I actually think I lack the normal capability to calm down from extreme emotional states.

I cut myself a couple times when I was going to high-school cuz I thought it'll be kewl thing to do & I slashed my arm 9x when I got really upset by my 1st ex girlfriend while I was suffering from a psychotic depression. I haven't self-harmed sense & that was 13 years ago when I was 20.

I used to cut myself alot in my late teens. My left arm actually looks a lot like yours, just healed over and scarred. I never attempted suicide however. At least not intentionally. I do think I almost killed myself once mixing a lot of Xanax and a lot of alcohol.

I did it out of frustration and genuine self hatred. I also enjoyed the feeling. For me, it brought relief comparable to taking a Xanax (properly dosed in this case).

I credit smoking pot as the thing that stopped me from progressing in my cutting and eventually completely stopping. I'm not saying you should do this. I'm discovering on here that many people on the spectrum don't take well to smoking pot, so I've backed off using it as a suggestion. I just know that if I didn't start I would have surely killed myself or been locked up in either jail or an institution long ago.

i did it for a while when i was 17..

i'm 26 now. i can look back and honestly say it was probably one of the dumbest things i've ever done. i didn't really get any sort of physical satisfaction from it. i suppose i just liked people feeling sorry for me when i did it. i'd waltz around the house in short sleeves, i'd want my parents to see. i'd brag about it at school, even at work, i'd take pictures of it and post it on internet forums, i just didn't care. i liked the attention, i liked people feeling sorry for me, i liked it when people saw me for what i felt i was, pathetic. there was never any suicidal intentions from it for me, granted i very much wanted to die, i knew it wasn't going to happen cutting sideways. there were days where i got so angry or anxious and i'd think i needed to cut, but i never truly needed to. it didn't stop the anxiety and my problems didn't go away. it did nothing. it was a temporary distraction to a temporary feeling.

but now of course, i'm 26, my arms are all scarred up and i can't explain it away. i have to wear long sleeves, even when it's 110 in the summer. i'm ashamed and embarrassed to have to show or admit that to anyone in person, and it's even harder to admit that to women i'm dating (i typically don't until i absolutely have to) i can't and never will be able to look someone in the eye and tell them honestly why i did it. i have to live, the rest of my life, with marked up arms because of a few poor decisions i made as a teenager.

if you're looking at those pictures thinking "i should do this" think again. it's just a ridiculous fad people do and it needs to go away. cause one day, you'll be 26, you'll be in the real world with a real job and real responsibilities, and hell you might even have overcome depression. but you'll never have any confidence knowing what's beneath your shirt. there is absolutely no good reason to pick up cutting, ever. if you need an escape, find something else that won't be a lifetime decision.

now with that said, that's just my own experience, and my only diagnosis is asperger's. i'm not going to speak for people who cut during meltdowns, or can't control their anger, or have other outlying mental illness issues - i don't know what it's like to be in that situation or how cutting can help (or not help) someone there. and i'm not going to speculate. i'm not here to shame anyone for what they're currently doing, i'm only trying to convince more people to not do it. so no flame me pls