middle school

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my neice is going to a big middle scholl next year. here is my question.did you feel lefted out with the other girls?did you get invited to parties?what did you do when noone would play with you or did you like your space?what about teasing.my neice seems to like her space. she thinks everyone is her freind.

If your niece is comfortable, there's a good chance she'll continue to be so. I have heard that a lot of the worst socialization/bullying problems happen in junior high, but for me it was in primary school. It'll help her a lot to know she can talk candidly with you, and that you'll be encouraging with her. Even if she only has one close friend, she can do really well.

I'm 48 years old, and just on the verge of getting diagnosed; I think it's probably better that people are diagnosed earlier. Is there some support available to her in her community? If nothing else, if there's a problem, this can go to a school counselor with the knowledge that Asperger's is involved, and I'd think that'd be a help.

But I'd say, don't borrow trouble. Things may go just fine!

My little cousins will be entering a large middle school next year, too. I had gone to that school for a few months (four years ago) and it was absolutely horrible. And it's gotten even worse since. In fact, the school has made national news due to some of it's issues. Anyway, I'm really worried about their safety. They're totally being babied by grandma (she won't let them pack their own lunch, she still picks out their clothes and won't even let them choose which socks to wear, and they're 0% street smart, something you need at that school). I also have a friend about to graduate from there and she can't stand it. So I don't really know what to say about your neice, but I hope her school is in better shape than my soon-to-be little cousins'.

Lola-nator (I love that!),

Sorry about the situation with your former school and the grandmother problem. A true 'aaargh!' situation.

Hmmm I went to a really small school where everyone knew each other their whole lives (plus I had five brothers). I had two friends from the time I was really young (they were born within days of me). I don't know about a big school. If she thinks everyone is her friend, maybe she'll be ok?

We were talking about how at our age (I'll be 48 this year too) we had something akin to deportment classes and I think that really helped us. We learned all that by rote. Can you find some of those old books and go over things with her on the weekend so she doesn't make any big blunders? And maybe observe her body language and just go over and over and over things with her until she gets them. I'm sure that's why I didn't stick out as much. It was drilled into my head. Temple Grandin also talks about that and how it helped.

That would be a great way for you to help her.

Thanks!

Oh, it's okay! I'm well out of there now (and into another district) and this may sound really bad, but I've always wanted to see a situation where my little cousins wouldn't get what they want for once. They're extremely spoiled and Grandma prefers them over me anyday. And the whole family knows it.

I hated middle school with all my heart. I was desperate to get out. Kids teased me just because I liked cats. And when I brught up my obsession with numbers, the teasing doubled. I was as angry as a charging rhino; felt like punching everybody in the face. then people would egg me on and ask me to dance or sing for them, only so they can laugh at me at the end. I had few friends, and I was a teacher's pet. I'd rather sit with the teachers during lunch than the students. In 8th grade, I realized that nobody really wanted to hang out with me, they just wanted to talk to me for 2 minutes and leave. I never got invited to parties. I realized that the way i dressed was not exactly fashionable, so i decided to incorporate styles from others (i'm glad i did, too) Despite all this trouble in middle school, I still managed to get good grades in class.

Hopefully this won't happen to you niece as well. Warn her that the kids can be judgemental, but don't pressure her to act "normal." I totally defied my mom when she told me to, since there is no way that i would ever pretend to be somebody else just to defend myself. Besides, if those so-called normal people think i'm weird, that's their problem, not mine. Just remember: “I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.” --Kurt Cobain

I hated middle school, but then again I acted out in stupid ways so I deserved it.

Same here. I even tried to hug a guy i liked (and didn't like me back).

...Same.

Middle school I was ignored most of the time. Just like elementary, high school and college incidentally. Also I didn't look for people to play with really. I just kept to myself and hung out with my family.

When I was on seconday school, my classmate girls thought I was weird, because I played videogames and watched cartoons while they were interested in boys and fashion clothes.

They talked to me rarely, I was always alone, but it didn't bother me because I knew I can't stand them and they can't stand me

Middle school was the worst period of my life. I had 0 friends, which transfered into high school because pretty much everyone from my MS went to my HS. Thats why I go to college out of state=much better. I'd say if your niece follows the crowd and isn't different she will come out with flying colors. I really don't think middle school was good for anyone. The best of luck to her!

In middle school, well.... I had some friends.. but I didn't like a lot of people and people didn't like me. I transferred in the middle of 7th grade to another school but it was really small and I'm really picky about the people I hang out with so I just didn't become good friends with any of the people in my class. The only friends I had really where mostly in highschool. I was invited to a few social events and I was in extracirricular activites but I still didn't like middle school as much.

In middle school, most of my friends were boys.

Middle school wasn't so bad for me, but I was an oddball. Having a few "friends" to band together with me for mutual protection worked pretty well.