I just now saw this thread. I can identify with severe depression and not being able to get an appt for wks. The same thing happened to me several years ago. I felt as if i could NOT go on...but with a husband and 3 young children, i could not bear to leave them. I would say that their presence probably saved my life at that time--i couldn't even think about doing anything.
I came to the conclusion, after that experience, that there is a pain that the human heart cannot know unless one has been there. It is so deep...i was fortunate to have a great uncle who had experienced severe depression and wanting to die--he was very open about his experiences and it encouraged me to not give up at the time.
I would tell you the same thing. As someone who has been there--i feel your pain. There are no words for the pain of that dark, dark night of the soul. But...it can get better. Mine took time, but slowly and surely i did recover. I am able to function mostly normally now, although i do see some residual neurological things. But they are minor and i can live with them. Don't give up.
Feel free to pm me if you wish.
_________________
"Them that don't know him don't like him,
and them that do sometimes don't know how to take him;
He ain't wrong, he's just different,
and his pride won't let him
do things to make you think he's right."
-Ed Bruce