Daughter starting to become violent

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My daughter aged 19 has atypical autism ...she's beginning to be violent towards me. She's very shy and smiley with other people but she's very frustrated about her life and is taking it out on me. It's only pushing and slapping me but I am adamant with her that is not acceptable. She's very isolated, doesn't have friends and doesn't want to attend her voluntary job any longer. Her dad lives locally but never wants to see her (grrrrr!! !! !! !). I worry about her mental health and am trying to persuade her to have some Cognitive Therapy to get her through her anxieties instead of being so frustrated and unhappy. Does anyone have advice or similar stories ??? I'm feeling emotionally exhausted with not being able to help her... Thanks xx

A somewhat similar story, but advice I have not, really. Time and patience, it seems puberty stretches out much longer with the hostility continued, and nothing you bring up is any good at all. I don't know, maybe talk to a gp or social worker to see if there's something available helpwise.

You should not tolerate this from your daughter.
I have heard similar stories from other parents about their teenage/young adult children.

Sorry...much too harsh earlier, I realise there are parents who are not equipped either emotionally or intellectually to deal with a child on the spectrum.

I was specifically targeting parents who are fully capable of looking after a child but who carry a stigma about disability and so deliberately avoid their responsibilities.

My 22 year old son has Autism and is pretty much non verbal, and complex learning disabilities.
Up to about 15 he was quite laid back in a hyper type of way. I could take him anywhere and he was
full of smiles and giggles.
Once puberty hit around 16 he was an altogether different person.
He started hitting himself then lashing out. He would have tantrums lasting 2 or 3 hours sometimes.
There were no warnings before hand either, no triggers that we could see.
I kept going to the doctors and it seemed no one could do anything. Sometimes he would tantrum a couple of times a day.
I moved home and the tantrums continues , bursting his own nose on several occasions , then he got to attacking people more often.
He started going out with 2 carers at a time to try and burn down his energy. He still had tantrums, hitting himself and hitting his carers. Was so hard to see him so unhappy.
When he was 21 we eventually were given medication for him. We did try everything before going down that road. I was worried we would loose him to his medication, but as it turned out he is so much happier now and calm and no more tantrums. He is even more interested in other people. I know it's not a road for everyone, but he was hitting himself in the head with great force, and he was too big to physically hold for hours on end. I am happy for him now, that he is happy.
You can try CBT as it does work in some people if you find the right person. Just tell your daughter if she doesnt click with the person you can ask for someone else. Getting her into groups might be useful, but I also have a boy with Aspergers and trying to get him to join any groups is like pulling teeth. Maybe finding an activity that you and your daughter can do outside like bowling or swimming or anything might help.
I wish you all the best, and hope that she will be calm and smiling soon

Why do you let her live with you? It's unacceptable to let people abuse you physically - even if they're you're kid and have a disability.

It's group home time if she's incapable of living independently.

Thank you so much for your replies... It's nice to knowing I'm not alone in this. Will look into cbt within autism a bit more. She not very accepting of her diagnosis and I know this is a huge thing that is making her mood worse. She only found out at 17. She definitely needs a social group of people her own age.... I'm her mum at the end of the day (I try and be best mate too, but I think that backfires sometimes!)
Strangerthingz you say get her to live elsewhere!! !!...... I will fight tooth and nail to have my daughter live with me...she's been to hell and back going to school/college, she does her best to fit in.....I won't give up on her just yet...I love her unconditionally ! !! !! !! Yes I will moan on here about her hitting me and her mood... But whilst I have things to try, some days are good and she wants to be with me, then she can!! !! !

As this situation parents must must be strong. You can consult your doctor and tell him all the changes which you are seeing in your daughter.