Hate the stress of love and dating

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It's so stressful! Trying to work out if someone actually likes you or not. Sometimes they do things and you think, "oh it's obvious", but then theres the second guessing, "maybe it's nothing. Maybe I'm seeing more there than there really is simply out of wishful thinking."

From an acorn of interest I will grow whole forests of affection.

Then there's that wondering how much you should give away? Do you let them obviously know you like them? Or do you hold back a little and gauge the situation?

It's worse if you see them on a regular basis. If you just tell them and they aren't sure yet. That's a jolt. Like trying to force open a flower bud. If you tell them and they are not at all interested then you've still got that cringe worthy meeting them all the time. That tension, things have changed.

Or there's the, they were only having fun and enjoying your attention. They were never wanting anything serious and you've fallen for them like a naive simpleton. Silly innocent naive girl. Why would he want you?

All of this just feels like ongoing and complete humiliation and I hate it. Happens every time for me.

I wish it was more simple.

How often does he try to be in touch with you?

Does he initiates texting to you? (very strong sign of interest)

Does he walks to you to say hello to you in particular in social events? (which means he scans the area seeking for you)

Or he only says hello to you if only you bump into him face to face? (which means that he only notices you only if you are just in front of him)

Did he add you on fb? Does he like and comment on your posts there?

Nope, no one ever does any of that stuff for me. Just the noticing me when I'm there thing. Staring at me from afar stuff. I have been invited along to things, but that's it. Not promising eh?

No one will ever love me:(

I Keep meeting guys who don't use Facebook. It's such a handy way to get contact details. If these chaps learned that they maybe they wouldn't be single.

Although I don't go out of my way to tall to men. I try and bump into them like it was an accident so they don't think I'm aggressively pursuing them, so that may not be an indication of interest at all.

No, it's not promising.

That reminds me of some of my crushes.... who wouldn't say hello to me only if I happen to be in their way, as if their vision span is kinda of straight laser projector, sometimes they passed by just next to my shoulder and still didn't notice me lol.

You know, the vision span of humans is around 120 degrees, which means, that you would notice a familiar face from your corner of your eye right away even if he happens to be somehow to the side of you, and you would definitely notice a face you like right away.

I have realized that all the girls that I have tried to accidentally bump into them in order to even notice my existence, were really barely noticing my existence and hadn't the slightest interest in me.

There were few girls that would salute me from afar and come to me every time to say hello, but those always turn out to be those kind of super-social people who who enthusiastically say hello and talk to every acquaintance they detect- so there was no way to tell if I was something special (but with time you can tell, those really never initiated texting or contact on fb...so yeah, I was simply some acquaintance for them).

The only obvious case, was the shy girl (who still a friend of mine) who used to come to me to talk to me out of all people - this was extremely obvious and It turned out that I was right, alas we turned that we would not be compatible as a couple.

I'm so depressed. Its not like i'm not meeting men. It's just none of them ever like me. It makes me feel like there must be something about my personality that is so unbearable or something about my looks that is so hideous that I can't ever be loved and I don't know what it is.

I'm so sick of life. I just so sick of being a loser. Most days I go to sleep wishing I could never wake up again.

Yeah I've always found the real life stuff difficult. That's why I prefer online dating. You go on a date then afterwards say whether you are interested or not, and there's no awkwardness because that was the point of meeting up. Whereas in the real world, there's so much useful information that you probably don't know, like whether the person is single, whether they find you attractive, whether they might like to date you, etc etc. I'm only any good at it when I'm drinking, and I don't go out drinking much these days, so online dating is about all that is left for me.

Althoouuuggghh...I did have a run of good luck when I first started going to a Meetup group full of like-minded people. I got asked on a few dates and managed to flirt with people. I think the special ingredient was that it was a "safe place". Like, if they weren't interested, it didn't feel like I'd be made to feel silly about it. Perhaps you need to find your hangout place.

P.S. I've no idea how you behave outside of this forum, but from what I've observed here, FWIW, I think you are lovely.

Dating online isn't real. Dating is real though.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Facebook is evil.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

Feeling this tonight

It's gonna be ok.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

The road may be long and burdensome, but it may have an end to it yet

Just here keeping things positive

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

hurtloam, yellowtamarin may sound alien to me at times (Pun ) but she's right there, why don't you try Okc or some other local dating site? What are you gonna lose? It wasn't working for you in real life so far any way and you have already tried everything.

At least the shy beta males who wouldn't dare to approach you in life, might approach you there.

Because that comes with a whole new set of stresses. Don't think could handle it right now.