I hate it when people laugh at me

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My workplace does not provide an adequate break room. I could technically go in there, but it's crammed full of people and it's the size of a walk-in closet. I like to be alone when I'm eating because it's more comfortable for me. I also don't have a car I can sit in right now even though I plan to get one soon, so I either have to find some place to hide outside, or I have to pay money to sit inside one of the restaurants close by. I don't want to have to pay money every day.

There is a two-level office building with a balcony next door to where I work. When I used to work in the day time about 6 years ago, I used to go up there on the second level and eat my lunch there. There were no businesses that had moved in yet, as the building was pretty new, and nobody could see me up there.

I recently started a day shift again after being on the overnight crew for a long time.

I went back up there and sat down and hid myself behind an L-shaped pillar from street view facing what appeared to be some dark windows in front of me. It is fairly clean concrete up there on the second level (no idiots sticking gum on things, spitting, etc.).

I thought I was completely alone. I kind of leaned my head back and sighed a bit because I was really tired.

I thought I heard laughter but I thought it was coming from further down the walkway and I turned my head and looked down there and didn't see anybody.

I heard laughter on and off as I ate my lunch but I couldn't tell where it was coming from.

I adjusted my clothes a little to be more comfortable and this produced more laughter, cue more laughter when I took a big bite out of my sandwich. This is when I started to realize something was up.

Then I heard a woman down the walkway saying "Ma'am!" She told me that people could see me and didn't know if I knew.

So apparently I'd been a comedy show for people in the office. It was one way glass. I thought if people had been in there I would have been able to see a light coming out, but no... it was dark because of the way the glass is.

I have felt really angry and depressed about this over the last few days because I might have wanted to work in one of those offices eventually but there's no chance in hell of that happening now.

The woman suggested I sit in the stairwell, but that place is super dirty because it has leaves and debris blown in there from the street level and I wouldn't be able to go there.

She looked like she was on the verge of laughter when she was talking to me. I told her I was sorry I was bothering people. She just was basically telling me that she just thought I didn't know people could see me and wanted to tell me.

I felt like she was really being condescending though... like what normal person would sit up there? That's not an "approved" place for people.

Normal people places are 1. The breakroom 2. My car (if I had one) 3. Paying money to sit in one of the local restaurants

However with the breakroom being a non-option, not having a car, and not wanting to have to spend money every day, I went to the place I thought I'd be able to get some peace and alone time.

Instead I became a comedy act for people in the office.

It makes me really angry and upset and embarrassed.