People obsessed with your flaws
My relatives know all of my flaws. Actually, they only think they do, based on what they knew about me from 30 years ago. So when I do visit them, they act as if I am still in my 20s, just as gullible, and making the same stupid mistakes.
Most of them are now "under-employed"; that is, laid off from their big-money union jobs, and taking whatever part-time, temporary work that's available.
So when they get on me about things that I used to say and do, I point out how much I've changed, and how successful I've become (on my own and without their support). Then I ask how they're doing.
That's when they call me a "jerk", and tell me that I shouldn't be criticizing them.
Ahh ... sweet vindication ...
_________________
Most of them are now "under-employed"; that is, laid off from their big-money union jobs, and taking whatever part-time, temporary work that's available.
So when they get on me about things that I used to say and do, I point out how much I've changed, and how successful I've become (on my own and without their support). Then I ask how they're doing.
That's when they call me a "jerk", and tell me that I shouldn't be criticizing them.
Ahh ... sweet vindication ...
_________________
Diagnosed April 14, 2016
ASD Level 1 without intellectual impairments.
RAADS-R -- 213.3
FQ -- 18.7
EQ -- 13
Aspie Quiz -- 186 out of 200
AQ: 42
AQ-10: 8.8
Not just people. Society, the medical model, behaviourists, media, so-called 'helping' groups like Autism Speaks, psychiatry.. The normative prejudice is immense and no group needs liberation more in Western culture at the present time than people on the spectrum. Thank goodness for Tony Attwood, a singular breath of fresh air...
As long as autistic people are defined solely by the medical model - based on the mindset that if you are not NT you are automatically impaired, defective, inferior (without any acknowledgment of strengths, potential nor societal oppression) - the status quo will continue, the aptly termed "tyranny of normal".
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 71,820
Location: Portland, Oregon
I can relate to this too. Whenever my grandma and/or my uncle visit, they often treat me like I'm still a child. They take pride in taking advantage of me, so whenever they visit, I hide in my room or leave the house until they leave. On another note, whenever I want to be social, I am told by my mom to not be social. Whenever I don't want to be social, my mom tells me to be social.
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Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!
Yes, I can relate to a degree. Some people are really toxic, basically narcissistic, and the only way they can feel good about themselves is to criticise others on some perceived lack. Like Fnord, I have relatives who enjoy criticising based on outdated beliefs about me (which were never accurate anyway). I suppose they really feel like offering up unwanted and unasked for criticism but can't find anything suitable to criticise in the present, so they must live in the past.
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We have to change our way of thinking if we really want to change the future. - Saki Watanabe (Shinsekai yori)
Based on the information in this thread and your blog, I can only speculate as to their motivations. However, you have said they are mean to you, so I would second what others in this thread have said: limit contact to maintain your own wellbeing as you see fit.
Speculation: Considering their outright insults, such as calling you a "slut", I would guess that they are just critical and unkind people who are treating you poorly due to mean-spiritedness and prejudice.
_________________
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We have to change our way of thinking if we really want to change the future. - Saki Watanabe (Shinsekai yori)
arabian1
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 8 Mar 2016
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 66
Location: california
While i wasnt criticised directly, people used to gossip about me and play practical jokes on me , epspecially in middle and high school. I remember in college a d bag professor said people with autism don't view others as human and obsess over things no one else cares about . He believed autism was caused by environmental pollution. I have learned to accept that no one is perfect . There may be smug , judgemental people who believe they are perfect, but they are far from it. usually, i am my own worst critic.sorry for the misspelled words.
Could we have some more information? I have some specific questions that might get you started:
1) How old are you?
2) Are you a male?
3) Are you in a class or program with these people that is about to end? Do you anticipate seeing them again?
4) Why do you think you were called a "slut"?
5) Did anyone officially complain about you to the dean? If so, why?
If you are a male who is being called a slut, that tells me that you are either being gay-bashed (whether or not you are gay) AND/OR someone had a crush on you and became upset because they thought you were romantically linked to someone else.
If someone complained about you, this could be from accidentally being rude, which we have all done, even people not on the autism spectrum. Or, it could be that someone was a jerk to you and you responded a little too strongly, so when the other person reported the incident they minimized their involvement and exaggerated yours.
But I'm just guessing. I need more information in order to give you effective feedback.
I am 19 going on 20, and I am a graduating student. By the way, let me give you an idea about the Philippine education system: right now, grade school is from 7-12, high school is from 13-16, and college is from 17-20. Besides, I was put ahead when I was in preschool because I could already read at 3, which is why I am a college senior despite being a year younger than everyone else.
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