Anxiety over phone calls, Conference/work calls

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I hate talking to people on the phone at all, with the exception of immediate family. It makes me anxious, especially when I don't know when they'll call, but even if I do its still almost as bad. It feels like someone has pushed me to the edge of a cliff and said either, "at some random time I will push you off this cliff" or "At precisely 11:35 I will push you off this cliff." I don't like that I don't know what they'll ask, and I end up being mostly monosyllabic. Which isn't good as I cannot communicate what I want to say in one word answers, even if I don't know what I should have said until after the call has ended. My sister has commented, after overhearing a phone call, that what she can hear me saying on my end sounds weird. (Neither of us like being on the phone around people, but she she tells me to deal with it if she's there while I'm on the phone, but gets ticked if I don't leave immediately when she's is )I always feels immensely relieved when the call is over.

How can I stop worrying about this? Or at least lessen the anxiety about it? I know its silly, but my brain still makes me panic about it.

I have generally bad communication both ways, both in person and on the phone, i keep stuttering/stammering when the other end wants information in a quick manner and I can't talk fast, but also when I talk slow, they will complain, so its bad for both of us. In my most recent work placement, I was fortunate enough only to have to listen to a conference call, but I have the memory of a goldfish when it comes to retaining information and giving feedback to my superior. Phones aren't exactly clear most of the time i've used them and I always have to ask them to repeat everything in which case they hang up or shout down the phone. This whole thing has put me off applying to every job that has some form of answering calls, even if its only 1% of the job description.

I do have anxiety in the way that i'm always shaking when I get a call, talk to strangers or have to talk long conversations that have nothing to do with work.

I have similar issues, but, perhaps to a lesser degree. I've had my current job for approx. 15 months, and, two days into my second week of employment, I unplugged my phone and put it in a desk drawer and walked into my boss's office and told him that, 'I don't use phones, and I've just unplugged the phone at my desk', and with your permission, 'I am going to request that the receptionist provide my email address to anyone who calls for me, going forward'. He asked me why, and I simply told him that I want to do an outstanding job for this firm and, if I am going to be successful, I will need email to be my sole form of communication, apart from the face to face contact I have with a few people in my office. He asked me a few questions, and showed concern for me and my needs, and, after a very brief discussion, I had his approval to refrain from corresponding by phone.

Perhaps you could present your situation to both, the person you work under, and the associate you must communicate with, regularly. They may be willing to accommodate you/meet your needs. It could be worth a try : )

Man.....what a great boss!

Hi kk. Indeed. I actually have two people I work under, and, both have been extremely accommodating. I am immensely grateful for my situation and I know it is unusual. I've had nothing to lose, by requesting accommodations, as it would be impossible for me to stay at a job, at this point in my life, if I were forced to tolerate anything that could negatively impact my mind or my overall, well-being.

Lucky you, Britte.
I hate receiving phone calls also and have always considered the telephone a nuisance and not a conveinence. God bless the internet! Despite having very shaky hands and chewed up fingertips, I still do way better on the keyboard than on a handset. I still call some family members that haven't embraced the internet, but they know I have issues with incoming calls so we try to establish times for me to call them. If I have to answer a phone at work, I'll be as brief as possible, stating our business name without any of that added on stuff like, "Good afternoon" or "Chris speaking".

Phone skills will grow as you age and talk to more people. I think the best advice I can give is.. remember, nobody can actually hurt you over the phone, unless it's their words, but still!

I guess, practice talking in the mirror or to yourself as if you were talking on the phone. I only talk to myself if I feel comfortable or have enough privacy (some people don't.)

Pretend the phone is like a vessel to talk to someone over IM, it's basically that. Some people are less comfortable talking face-to-face than over the phone, and vise-versa.

One of the things I can't get over though is those God-damn automatic answering machines. Sometimes I'm relieved that I don't have to talk to a person for a while, then I just follow the prompts that they say, and just get better at that as I keep doing it. Government and business agencies are the worst kind of people for phone communication, they just never pick up! Oh well.

I absolutely hate texting and only do it when it is reasonable to do so or I have to. Granted I find thank you notes offensive/insulting so I'm just odd in general. I primarily talk on the phone or use email.

Most formal phone conversations (work related, speaking with a receptionist, costumer service,etc) tend to fall into a scripts along the lines of these:

Hello,(company name,residence,location) this is (your name) speaking how may I help you?
Hello is (name ) available/ May I speak to (name)/This is (name/pronoun)/Hello (name) residence
Hello this is (name)I need to make an appointment with (name)/I need to cancel my appointment with (name) on(date,time).
Hello, this is (your name) I am returning (name's) call.
Confirm and clarify message:repeat the information back (date,time,instructions,person,place,etc), ask the person to repeat the information if need be and repeat it back while making a physical/digital note of it, ask for spellings if need be.
Make sure everyone involved understands the message and ask questions if not sure (Do you know where we are located?,etc)

Taking a message or receiving instructions generally involves the Who,What,When,Where and sometimes how. Again Ccnfirm and clarify I find that most people would rather you do this than not get the whole message.

I don't have any suggestions for improving your experience of phone calls, but I absolutely understand it. Like others have said, my tactic has generally been to avoid phone calls where possible. I use email or text communication as far as possible, but this isn't always possible. One of my worst problems is when I have to deal with bills or other issues at home and it's something my partner can't phone up and do for me, so I put off making the call for weeks sometimes.

My biggest issue with phone calls is that I don't process verbal information very well. When I'm speaking to someone face-to-face, I usually look at their mouth to "see" the words they're saying and try to visualise what they're telling me. If you were verbally giving me a list of information, I would have forgotten the first thing by the time you got to the end of the list. I also find turn-taking and interrupting someone for clarification very difficult on the phone and worry much more about coming across as rude.