Adopting as an Aspie

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As a young adult, I learned that I have Asperger's/ASD through conversations with health professionals and therapists as well as my own research. However, since learning this, I have not received an official medical diagnosis. I am now preparing to obtain the official diagnosis to have documentation for minor accommodations later in work or graduate school. My partner was completely supportive of this until a recent conversation with his own therapist who told him that a medical diagnosis may make adoption harder down the line. We both want to be parents, but as a same-sex couple, we have to consider alternative methods to form our family. I am curious if anyone has had any experience with this issue. I understand that adoption agencies will be interested in our health, but would an ASD diagnosis present a significant barrier? Also, the agency I am working with for the diagnosis, is not connected with my healthcare provider. I don't feel that the diagnosis would have to be a part of my full medical records unless I elected to disclose it to my doctor. There are many things to consider, and I would be interested in hearing others' thoughts as I work to sort everything. Thanks for your input.

I was looking into adoption, but I've decided I'd rather do sperm donation. So I don't know much about the process, but I have done some reading.

From what I understand, there are three kinds of adoption - international adoption, foster care adoption and private adoption. Each is a bit different, but none of them is completely off-limits for a parent with a disability, as long as you pass the home study.

International adoption is adopting a child from another country. Usually you get older kids, sibling groups or kids with disabilities, because healthy babies are usually adopted in-country. With this route, it depends entirely on which country you choose - some countries have rules about parents with disabilities or same sex couples adopting, and some don't care.

Private adoption is adopting a baby in your country. Typically you are matched with a birthmother while she's still pregnant, and get the baby right after birth. In this route, the birthmother chooses (except in rare situations where she decides to let the agency choose for her, and they choose the family that has been waiting the longest). I could see some birthmothers not wanting their child to be raised by an autistic parent, but eventually you should be able to find someone.

Foster care adoption is when you become a foster parent with a plan to adopt the child (or children) you're fostering. Usually by this route you'd get kids with disabilities, sibling groups or older kids, the majority being removed from their home because their biological family wasn't taking good care of them. With this route, if you pass your home study, you'll be treated exactly the same as any other family looking to adopt, and the biological family doesn't get a choice where the kid goes.

Honestly, it may make it more difficult but we can't give you a fixed answer.

You'd be better placed contacting your local authority adoption service and/or local private services and asking them.

Our LA said that ASD doesn't exclude people from adoption because it's such a wide spectrum. So they can't say yes/no until the full health check is done.

Tbh, if you show clear signs of ASD the fact that "something" is off may crop up anyway - for example they may think you're naturally cold.