do you ever feel it's hard to have good self esteem

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I have zero self respect and self esteem. I'm very hard on myself.

I always feel that way.

My self esteem is a lot less negative then it used to be and I think of that as an accomplishment.

Article by Dr. Tony Atwood on causes and coping strategies for Autistic low self esteem

Yes, I often feel like I'm not good enough.

I must admit I feel like that sometimes but must of the time I'm pretty chilled out and relaxed, I'd say I'm contempt with myself

I find that I'm extremely critical of myself. Part of the reason is bad experiences especially during my childhood and adolescence. The fact that I still do not fit in with others, and continue to have many bad experiences, is what is probably keeping me from developing a healthy sense of self-esteem.

Another reason could be that I'm a perfectionist, which means that I am more critical of things in general, not just myself.

I'm afraid that I'm the opposite and I have very good self esteem. I tend to view neurotypicals as malfunctioning and held back by their brains. They frustrate me and don't seem to be able to get on with things the way I can. I'm super organised, efficient and rational. I think I'm okay as a person and can happily accept my failings. I can laugh at myself too.

You might as well like yourself because many people have ishoos with themselves and take it out on you.

Yes, I have this issue.

It was when I was depressed.

Most definitely. To have good self-esteem you have to warrant self-esteem I think and I don't feel I do given what I've accomplished and where I am at in life and where I think things will realistically go.

I believe that high self-esteem is a feeling, an emotion. It is like the aha feeling you experience when you really get a work of art, or piece of music. It is the feeling you get when you KNOW what is going on here (in your world). You feel in your bones that you can cope and do well in the future that is unfolding before you.

I have no self esteem whatsoever. Current circumstances aside, it's always been that way. I do not know why. I have some nice accomplishments. But, I think it's the constant follow up failures that make things nutso for me.

That and the utter, complete lack of friends or people to talk with intimately about things I need an outside opinion on. I have no frame of reference internally that can allow me to bring things out. Unless I've seen it or can find an example, I can't get it out. Makes it very difficult and starts me having difficulties that drag me down.

The hard part about good self esteem is people just expect you to have it, there's no how-to.. and they always just say "be confident" yet the only thing to improve confidence is positive experiences, which.. can't always happen without confidence.

My self-confidence is pretty low, but all growing up I was told I had a lot. My mom always said "You do this and that, you have so much self-confidence."

Well, no I don't. I just do things *anyway*. It's the same with the anxiety. It is still there. It didn't go away just because I fought through it and pushed hard and made myself do something. Just because I got something done doesn't mean I don't think it sucks.

And, unfortunately, I don't get a lot of positive feedback on many things anymore. It seems once you're an adult the encouragement stops, like you're already supposed to know if you're any good.

I also lack a lot of external comparison to know where I fall with my abilities. I constantly feel like I'm shooting in the dark. When I was younger, this didn't bother me so much. But when you're young and you have your whole life ahead of you (ie. time) and less hinging on your decisions, and more of a safety net, esp. if you're living at home, it doesn't matter so much if your shot in the dark lands nowhere near your intended target. It's much different when you're an adult.

All I have to go by is what I *want.* I want to shoot an arrow in that direction. I'm not confident that it's the right way. I don't necessarily believe that what I want is the right thing to want, either. So, I have two choices: follow my desire, or not. That really is not about self-esteem or self-confidence. It is just a compelling feeling to do what I *want.*

Sometimes I want to have directions to follow. Most of the time, I'd rather live freely. But it is a bit scary because I don't know if I am doing things right or if I will be liked, etc. Another thing my mom always said is that I have always lived to the beat of my own drummer. She's absolutely right about that.

You can compose music, you have an intact marriage, and you're raising kids who have a fine intellect.

I can only say one of these things for myself.

Yet, I think I'm okay. Just okay. Not bad.

I don't think I'm 1/3 of you LOL

(Maybe 2/3's? )