Making sense of everything

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When someone is talking to me directly there are some emotions I can pick up. Anger, by what they're saying, perhaps a facial expression or tone of voice. Depression as well. A bit of this from studying psychology. I tend to share pictures I've found online that I find funny and usually I get laughs back, I guess by them laughing it gives it away they're happy, at least in that moment, lowering tensions a little inside me.

With most people it takes me a while (a week or a bit more) to work on the anxiety in myself in approaching the other person and trying to start a conversation with them. I know in the beginning I put quite a bit of effort in trying to build something with the other person, which lowers over time for a number of reasons. I also get uncertain when I see the other person but not talking to them. There are also conversations online which leaves me wondering when not getting anything back from them.

It's very weird to me. One moment they come across as friendly and initiate, others I am just confused. One moment I think, oh the person likes me.. Others I'm just wondering, do they really? Sometimes I'll take the chance and approach them and talk about it, but I'll feel like the other person is resentful for me talking about myself, or being too demanding of them, like what right do I have to expect others, or makes my problems more important than others.

IRC used to be a good place. There was always someone online to talk to. But now with each passing day I feel moe and more isolated, even with people who are physically present, with people who I talk to, I don't know what to make of them. Right now, I'm at home by myself, but the idea of sending somebody a message via sms or IM terrifies me.

I have probelems like that too, I'm bad at reading people so I often wonder if they are just putting up with me. I have learned that this fear is generally an irrational one, I don't randomly start hating people for being weird so why should anyone else? If someone really doesn't like me then I expect them to tell me, otherwise I'm not the one to blame for them being annoyed by me because they are the ones hiding it. I also have probelems with starting conversations, even with my friends. I guess I just need to build some confidence, although it would really help if I didn't suck at procesing language and not making a fool out of myself.

Yeah,I too still have a hard time initiating conversation with people,even friends at times and I would also psycho-analyse and second guess people all the time, I have found it best to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they mean what they say, even if your emotions are all over the place,of course I still psycho-analyse and second guess too much every now and again but I have gotten way better, I find the alternative to lead to yucky cynicism and paranoia,of course some situations involving people require more caution but so as long as it is something as light as,"Do they like me or not" I just give people the benefit of the doubt.

Sigh :-/ I sometimes even do this with long time friends....the doubt won't ever go away for good, I think - at least not for me.