Concerned About Moving In With Housemate
I've lived with my wife for 3 years this summer. Our lease is up in August and we're looking to move somewhere a bit bigger, with a friend as our housemate.
In terms of money, it will be better for us and our friend is looking forward to moving in with us.
I'm worried about co-habiting with another person, though. I worry that I'll burn out from trying to be too 'normal' or that she'll be unpredictable and it will make me stressed as I'm quite rigid.
On the bright side, she's very introverted and doesn't party much (indeed, she avoids parties wherever possible). Her idea of tolerance to noise for house rules was whether or not she could watch the TV without headphones. But I know that she's not rigid because she got annoyed with a previous housemate for being too controlling.
What are your experiences with living with housemates? What sort of things made it easier for you?
_________________
Diagnosed with:
Moderate Hearing Loss in 2002.
Autism Spectrum Disorder in August 2015.
ADHD diagnosed in July 2016
Also "probable" dyspraxia/DCD and dyslexia.
Plus a smattering of mental health problems that have now been mostly resolved.
Does she know that you're autistic?
I think it would be fine as long as you laid down some ground rules at the beginning. Don't try to be 'normal'. But if there's anything you do at home that you think might be objectionable you could bring it up in advance and discuss it. That will probably take the stress out of it, even though it's uncomfortable at first.
My main thing when I lived in student accommodation (and even private homes with thin walls) was noise... but unfortunately even small noises, like a person just moving about or having a conversation in a normal tone, can annoy me. So there's nothing I can do about it expect put on headphones or use earplugs.
People who were messy in the kitchen also drove me nuts, but you don't really pick who you live with in student halls. I think if you know the person already then it's easier to have a word with them and work out some kind of compromise.