6Yr old - bed wetting
My son (pos AS) 6 was wetting the bed on and off, a few months year ago, but it had stopped.
A few nights ago the whole room smelled of piss and wet pj's had been put back in his draws in an effort to hide them. (he has never gotten in trouble for wetting the bed)
The last 4 nights he then drenched the bed, we had been instructing him to go to the bathroom before bed which he appeared to be doing. His drinks are also limited after dinner (and only water).
I decided I needed more information on what was happening and purchased a bed wetting alarm, I showed it to him and showed him how it worked and what it would do when it got wet and what to do if the alarm went off in the night. He was ok with this idea and in his words "I don't try to wet the bed, it just happens"
I woke up this morning and the alarm hadn't gone off, I was sure I hadn't set it up right, but much to my surprise his bed wasn't wet, there was no over whelming piss smell. He did however wet his pj's but they were barley damp and he had taken them off and put them in the laundry. He appeared proud of him self for not wetting the actual bed and the sheets etc did not need to be changed. He claims he woke up and was wet, so went to the toilet and got dressed because it was morning.
I am just at a loss to understand, did the fear of the alarm going off stop him from peeing to much? (he hates loud noises). or was he doing on purpose all along and the alarm means we would know when it happened? Is he creating bad behavior so he can be rewarded for not doing bad behavior.
He is very... cause and effect. His behavior is kept under control by having his decision chart. For example eating breakfast. Pro is he has energy for school and wont be hungry, the negative being, he will be hungry until morning tea. He uses this to make good decisions and it was his idea... and it works. He will actually look at it (pictures) and talks out loud "ok so if i do this this will happen and if i don't this will happen, hmm... I think i'll make a good decision!" and I wonder if he was attempting to get another item added to his chart as some of them contain little rewards but harsher punishments (eg, get to stay up an extra 5 minutes or Lose 20% pocket money)
and honestly the change in his behavior from a year ago to now is unbelievable. His meltdowns are shorter and way less frequent. He speaks more clearly, and he frequently says he wants to be a good boy and not be like some of the naughty kids at school (who he see's being punished), school itself was a worry, but he was so eager to learn that he settled quite quickly (2 days) and now loves school. He is a great kid, but he is also very smart and inquisitive asking questions and thinking things a 6 year old shouldn't be concerned with (he did a Karen from Outnumbered on me). So I have 0 doubt he wanted to hatch a plan to get more rewards he would be more than capable, but it seems against his morals.
Am I overthinking this?...
FYI:
Karen from Outnumbered (and this is what he does)
It's really not all that uncommon for six year olds (especially boys) to continue to wet the bed. I once went to summer camp with three other kids who were about 11. They were perfectly "normal" in every respect--yet all three wet the bed.
Some parents seem to prefer to put a child in pull-ups if they wet the bed. But I don't know if this would be wise, since that might insult the kid.
Perhaps take him for a checkup to make sure it's not a medical issue. It probably isn't.
It could be that he's stressed about something.
I was recently told by our pediatrician that most cases of secondary bedwetting are caused by constipation -- the colon expands to hold extra so nobody realizes the constipation is happening. She recommended a month-long course of Miralax. Go see your child's doctor on this one.
When he started wetting the bed again I did take him to see the doctor.
The doctor didn't really do a lot other than ask if his situation has changed, which it had but as I explained that was months ago and this was just happening now. He did take a wee test which returned nothing of interest.
His advice was, wake him before I go to bed and get him to use the toilet and that is all...
He really doesn't seem stressed and other people comment on how happy he is, I have asked him if anything is bothering him or if anything scares him at night and he says he is ok.
He did wet the bed again last night at 2:30am, he got up and was wandering the hall way (confused) when I got up, I reminded him what the alarm meant and he went to the toilet while I changed his bed, he wasn't any trouble and went straight back to bed after I had finished and he had changed out of his pj's. His bed was then dry this morning.
From what you're telling us, it doesn't sound too serious. The only problem could be embarrassment when he sleeps over a friend's house.
It's really not that rare a thing for a boy to wet the bed past age 5. I've known MANY kids who wet the bed.
I think these steps you're taking are fine.
Its excellent that you're not making him ashamed that he wets the bed; you're treating it is merely something in life that should be overcome.
The odd thing is, he doesn't appear to have wet the bed when he has sleep overs... maybe fear of embarrassment? Or possible because he goes to bed later, he is taking his last wee later. (may be on to something here)
We remind him, that it is not something he is in trouble for, We just want to help him. He seems to understand this, as he doesn't act like he is trouble. (although he does get in trouble for lying about it)
I know it isn't rare for a child his age to still wet the bed, it seems more unusual to me, that he is capable of sleeping through the night and now is not.
I will see how he goes tonight, if he is wet at 2:30 again, I will set an alarm myself for 2am and get up and get him to go to the toilet.
I wonder if you will enter his room at 2 AM, find him sleeping, and also find the bed wet. When I was a little kid, I wet the bed while I was sleeping. I could never ever remember waking up and then wetting the bed. If I woke up, I went to the bathroom. I never tried actually purposely waking up in the middle of the night though to avoid wetting the bed.
The worst part of it was feeling like I couldn't control my own body, and feeling guilty about something I didn't even have any control over while I slept. My mother promised me that it would eventually stop happening, she knew I didn't do it on purpose, but she's human and she still got frustrated now and then.
Eventually, it happened less and less, and I started either sleeping through the night dry, or waking up.
The second worst part was sleepovers. I didn't actually have them until I stopped wetting the bed, but even then, I could barely sleep because I was so afraid it would happen again. To this day, I still have some trouble sleeping the first night in a new place. I wonder if my body is somehow remembering that fear and keeping me awake. It sounds ridiculous, but who knows? Peoples minds work in mysterious ways.
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Some parents seem to prefer to put a child in pull-ups if they wet the bed. But I don't know if this would be wise, since that might insult the kid.
Perhaps take him for a checkup to make sure it's not a medical issue. It probably isn't.
It could be that he's stressed about something.
I agree with this. I wet the bed until I was 12. Home, camp, friends' houses. Didn't matter. I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I certainly wasn't and it's quite embarrassing.
All I can say is that I don't think any kind of punishment is a good idea (I know you didn't mention punishing him in your post). I was frequently punished for my bedwetting. It never helped and I have to wonder if that was actually making it worse.
I wet the bed until I was 14. I was also shamed for it and forced to wear diapers to bed. I think that made me grow out of it even slower. My mother also let my brother and his younger daughter move in without any prior warning. My niece and I were basically best friends and she had her own bedroom; but moving in without any warning was a drastic change to my routine. I finally stopped wetting the bed when my brother stepped up and got his own place and took her with him. But shaming and being forced to wear diapers (my mom even called them diapers hoping that embarrassment would make me stop) probably slowed my progress.
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