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ladyelaine
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27 Apr 2016, 4:07 pm

People love to assume that I'm mentally ret*d because I talk funny and look young for my age. This one lady thought I graduated with a special diploma. She was in shock when she found out I graduated with a regular diploma and with honors. This lady had a master's degree in special education. It seems like she should have known better. One of my brother's friends was shocked that I can take care of myself. This girl associated autism with people that can't do anything for themselves. This girl was shocked at everything I can do. It is amazing how ignorant some people are. People are always in complete shock when they finally get to know me. What assumptions have people made about you?



voxeldance
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27 Apr 2016, 4:21 pm

ladyelaine wrote:
People love to assume that I'm mentally ret*d because I talk funny and look young for my age. This one lady thought I graduated with a special diploma. She was in shock when she found out I graduated with a regular diploma and with honors. This lady had a master's degree in special education. It seems like she should have known better. One of my brother's friends was shocked that I can take care of myself. This girl associated autism with people that can't do anything for themselves. This girl was shocked at everything I can do. It is amazing how ignorant some people are. People are always in complete shock when they finally get to know me. What assumptions have people made about you?


I have the opposite thing because I'm an "undercover" autistic person (I've always been odd but few people knew it was autism). So I struggle with a lot of things but other people never know why! The most common interpretations are that I'm obsessive/compulsive (because I prepare carefully for everything and know a lot of details), that I'm neurotic (because I'm always tired and stressed just by dealing with everyday life) and that I'm aggressive (because I don't phrase myself in the right way or point out obvious things that were supposed to be ignored). But just like with your experience, people are in shock when they realize none of those things are true! :roll: :D



skibum
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27 Apr 2016, 4:58 pm

When I was in high school I was a long distance runner and ran full marathons. I am also an avid alpine skier as it says on my screen name. When I found out just a couple of years ago that I am Autistic I told one of my relatives. She could not understand how I can be Autistic and run marathons and ski like I do.

Some people are actually shocked because I drive. One lady who was in a class I was taking once saw me pull up into the parking lot. She knew I was Autistic and I also look very young. She was amazed that I had driven myself to class and asked in a very condescending voice how long had I been driving. She nearly fell out of her chair when I told her that I had been driving for almost 35 years.

Apparently the assumptions were that as an Autistic person I should not be able to do these things.


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Yigeren
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27 Apr 2016, 6:18 pm

People assume that I'm very young often. Until they talk with me at length they also often assume that I'm stupid.

People also assume that I'm lazy, immature, mean, angry, depressed, low-class, clueless, etc. I really don't even know all what people think, but a lot of it is bad.



spinelli
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27 Apr 2016, 9:28 pm

Totally cool people!

People assume I'm mentally slow......I just let them sometimes.

Some of us can drive but it took us often times longer to learn. If I have a life skill.....I didn't learn it as quickly. I am all thumbs when it comes to mechanics, smart tv systems, dvd etc. I don't waitress, terrible at taking food orders.....but I memorize facts. Oh well I totally mess up auditory directions.



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27 Apr 2016, 11:12 pm

Everyone always assumes I'm way younger than I am; the average estimate is around fourteen. People (including college professors with doctorates in psychology???) have talked down to me like I was mentally deficient, or a small child, when they found out I have autism. I still get asked at every restaurant I go to with my parents if I want a kids' menu. I used to find it very insulting, but I've learned to just roll with it.


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Yigeren
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27 Apr 2016, 11:22 pm

^ I have recently, as within the past five years, been asked if I needed a kid's menu for myself on several occasions. And I'm over 30. :lol: The last time it happened was last year.

Given your age and your small stature, I wouldn't expect that to end anytime soon, unfortunately. It's gotten to the point where I have to stop myself from laughing when it occurs.

At your age most people assumed that I was about fifteen.



zkydz
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27 Apr 2016, 11:43 pm

When I was 15, I looked about 18-20

When I was 19, I looked bout 30

When I canme to NYC to take a job at 28, Everybody thought I was about 40.

At 40, looked 50ish

Now, I look my age....

If this keeps up, I'll look twenty when ya'll catch up ;)

My difficulty is that I have such a practiced manner until I manage to do something really out of place. And that starts a real feedback issue and starts to throw me out of sync.

Then they just wonder what is wrong.


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League_Girl
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27 Apr 2016, 11:58 pm

I don't know what people think of me right now, I haven't had any criticism and any bad treatment in a while. Few years ago some lady in her 60's thought I was ret*d or slow so she treated me as such. She was a real estate person and I was looking at a house with my mother for my brother and his girlfriend and their child. Several people have made that same assumption about me online.

In high school, kids were shocked I was in drama, got my driver's license and growing up people always thought I was older. It was like everyone thought I was ret*d. Plus kids assumed I never listened or paid any attention in class. Also kids from my softball team thought I had the same memory as Rain Man and wondered if I was autistic.


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mikeman7918
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28 Apr 2016, 1:11 am

People generally don't tend to underestimate my age, but that's probably only because of my height (I'm rather tall). I've been told that if you ignore that then I do look quite young.

I have had people make assumptions about me and talk down to me before on many occasions, although I usually try to ignore it. It seems to be mostly from people who know about my autism but otherwise don't know me very well like doctors and teachers, or at least they tend to express it in the most obvious ways.


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underwater
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28 Apr 2016, 1:30 am

People regularly treat me like a child. I assume we are equally immature :D



DayvanCowboy
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28 Apr 2016, 3:19 am

Now lets see...

You're autistic so that means you have no empathy right? Yes, no emathy for dumb invalids, like yourself.
You must be good at math
Do you like trains? (No I f*****g don't like bloody trains)
You're not autistic, you don't have a cold, dead stare (I didnt believe what I was hearing)
You must like sonic/mlp/minecraft (seriously have had this, was tempted to punch the f****r in the throat and very nearly did, scared him at the very least...)
You've never had a girlfriend, have you?
Do you collect benefits and do nothing all day?
Are you psychic?
Wait, you take DRUGS?! And have had SEX? I thought autistic people were pure! *blows ganja smoke in her face* (this really happened, offended the f**k out of them and enjoyed every minute of it, haha, SCREW stereotypes!)
Why do you go to gigs? I thought aspies hated noise (yeah I do, that sound akin to a cow giving birth to siamese twins coming from your frickin gullet, my "friend."
Do you act like sheldon? *Violently beats person* (inside my head. Chill)

Yeah had a good few. Also the being treated as a child thing. They learn though. I make it clear I know what they're doing and make em squirm. Always fun to watch. ;))


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Kiprobalhato
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28 Apr 2016, 3:44 am

sophomore year of HS. i apparently had half the school thinking i was mentally disabled and that they felt sorry for me.

the girl people thought i was dating (the LO) informed me of that.


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spinelli
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28 Apr 2016, 8:49 am

One of my last jobs, people would talk slowly as if I were mentally challenged. I got tired enough of the games and quit the pittily ass 8 hour a week job.



zkydz
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28 Apr 2016, 9:16 am

spinelli wrote:
One of my last jobs, people would talk slowly as if I were mentally challenged. I got tired enough of the games and quit the pittily ass 8 hour a week job.

Yep, you showed them......


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skibum
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28 Apr 2016, 9:17 am

I had gone to a center for therapeutic riding for disabled people. I wanted to go for the riding but because of my appearance they assumed I was there to volunteer. That ended up fine because the job they gave me was to groom the horses which is something I absolutely love to do anyway and I find it very therapeutic.

But when I first got there everyone spoke to me like a normal person. Then one lady on staff told another lady who was one of the staff that they had made a mistake and that I was there to be a student not a volunteer. Then she blurted out that I was Autistic pretty loudly in front of everyone. And I know from the orientation meeting for staff and volunteers that they are not allowed to discuss or mention the diagnosis of students in a public setting. But anyway, as soon as the entire room heard that I was Autistic, the other staff lady immediately changed her manner of speaking with me and started speaking to me as if I were a three year old. It was so ridiculous. I was the same person with the same ability to communicate with them as an adult a second before, and a second before they all thought that I as a total normal adult NT and they were having coherent conversations with me about all kinds of mature stuff with no indication that I was having any issues with the conversations, but with one revelation, in one instant, I went from competent adult and equal to some infant who needed to be spoken to in a slow, infantile, pseudo baby talk kind of way. It was absolutely fascinating how one word made such a difference in whom, or what, I was to them.

Eventually I left that place because even though it was a place for helping disabled people, including Autistics and not only LFA's but HFA's who can pass very well and easily for NT's as well, I know one of them personally since we are friends outside of that situation, they thought that I thought of myself as disabled, which I do, and that bothered them and they complained about it. But even other than my friend I have seen quite a few students there who can easily pass for NT's. But I think the difference is that they were all kids and teens. My friend is a teen.

And when I tried to share with them about my particular struggles so that they could address my needs better, they complained that I talked too much about my Autism. I tried to tell them that I don't have a parent or guardian like the other students who have complete profiles of all their quirks and issues so that the staff will know what their individual issues are and the only way they would know mine is if I told them since my mommy isn't with me to do that. But they insisted that they wanted me to not think of myself as a disabled person and so I should not talk about my quirks and issues or about my Autism. And then if I did something typically Autistic, they looked down on me and expected me to not do those things. They probably figured that as an HFA of my chronological age, I should be able to have my Autistic symptoms and traits under control so that they are never visible at any time.

So it was fine for them to treat me like an idiot when they heard I was Autistic but it was not ok for me to actually be Autistic. Go figure. I stayed for a little while because I had become so emotionally attached to one of the horses but after awhile even that was not enough to keep me there.


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Wreck It Ralph