Yigeren wrote:
Yes, but it depends on who it is. I frequently get upset over even news stories of people dying.
You likely can feel sad during movies because the situation is really obvious and understandable. It's clear how the characters are feeling, and you usually get to almost experience death with them. You know their pain. There are views into the lives of multiple characters.
In real life, one usually just hears about someone dying. We aren't usually there, we don't know the experiences of that person during his/her last moments, and we don't see all of the different feelings of the other people involved. Unless we are there, or very close to the person, we aren't really involved. I'm guessing most NTs are able to guess what it's like for people and feel emotions.
Sometimes I have to ponder things before I feel empathy, because the situation doesn't really register for me. I can't imagine what it's like for others, so I don't understand, and don't feel empathy. Once I am able to grasp things, and imagine what it may be like for another, then I do feel empathy.
Also I have very strong emotional empathy. If I see another person upset/happy/etc, I tend to feel their emotions automatically.
So my guess is that your emotional empathy works, but your cognitive empathy, which is based on theory of mind and imagination, does not work so well.
This is very much how I am on the subject. I remember for years I thought death just didn't impact me. Both my grandparents died and I had to really focus on it to cry so I could feel like I was normal. I remember just fixating on how they weren't gonna be there and it's forever etc., and it worked, but barely. Then my wife's grandfather died and she was a mess because she was really, really close with him. That was tough time in my marriage because I was pretty cold about it because I just couldn't understand why someone would get so sad at a grandparent.
Then I realized it was more because I have only formed meaningful bonds with handful of people over the entirety of my life. I realized this when my best friends father died suddenly. That man meant so much to me because he was the closest thing I ever had to a father. And years later it still hurts. Alot. I can't think of it, or him, without tearing up. And I'm not typically that sort of guy. Not that there's anything wrong with it. I'm just usually not like that.
My point is, I couldn't really get sad about people dying until I knew what that feeling was like. I too am deeply empathetic when I can relate to the situation. I find myself very empathetic for a large portion of the people on this site, for example. The confusion. The frustration. The loneliness and alienation. Yet on the other hand, I am so totally and completely cold and callous about people who "don't matter" to me. Those are the people that I can't identify with at all. I couldn't care less if the die, are hurting, suffer or whatever. Until they become "real" to me.