Another miserable rant from yours truly.

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This is my first post on this website in some time. Layouts of pages change, but the unpleasantness of the material world remains. I've got several short stories in progress, and I'm going to try and keep myself preoccupied with my fiction writing over the summer, if that provides any sliver of relief. Every single day, I try to come up with some lousy excuse to get out of my bed. I'm thoroughly convinced whatever effort I make to "improve" my psychological predicament and "achieve goals" will be fruitless, and therefore futile. I've spent years ranting about one of my writing projects, and all that I have to show for it is a shoddy draft (if it can really be called that) of exactly one hundred and eighteen pages. People say I should just give up, and get some menial job like being a janitor or ditch digger. Hopefully, if I make a decent wage, I'd save some money for a high-caliber pistol and a hollow point bullet to put myself out of everyone's misery. Truly, this world is only for the most unscrupulous and unfettered individuals. Why do you suppose men like Manson, Bundy, Dahmer, or Hitler are practically celebrities, even in death? Some of them even have t-shirts bearing their likenesses.

Ernest Hemingway worked and wrote at the same time, the real world experience probably helped him with his writing.

Is there any chance you could go to college?

I am in college, and no, I'm not falling for the pull-yourself-by-the-bootstraps schtick.

Why don't I do the planet a favor and kill myself?

What subject are you studying in college?

Think of celebrities as non-people; images we're supposed to want to live up to. Don't worry about them. Take care of your feelings.

What interests do you have which might lend themselves to a job?

Why only a draft? Are there certain aspects of writing which you find difficult? I prefer a format more like Kafka or Borges. That's natural to me. I can mimic voices and do something like a soliloquy decently, but writing natural exchanges is something I find difficult. I also find short pieces more easy than being able to picture the whole of a larger work. Perhaps you're similar and trying to write in ways which aren't natural to you because they are what you see in most books, which is what I used to do. I went back to writing in ways which came naturally when I started, and I'm happier for it.

Have you tried Haikus? They seem to be a low effort way to start out.

I am a writer. I have been writing pieces for people for years now. Might I suggest ghostwriting for publishers? I worked as a ghostwriter for a year, and it was quite rewarding. For some jobs I scored well over 1k a month. Obviously it's not enough to support yourself on, but usually the rates are $100 for 10,000 words. If you don't mind my intruding, and if you haven't tried it yet, you might be quite good at it. I knew some ghostwriters who juggled up to three or four different clients a month and received well over $5,000 in just 30 days. For someone who has a love of writing such as myself, and doesn't mind writing erotic romances four to five times a month, (as that's generally the demand,) it's a dream. The only reason I stopped was because I could no longer support my other two jobs, which are just as important to me. Now I write as a hobby.