Thought I was trans...special interest? 5

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Disclaimer: I'm absolutely not trying to cause offence here. I KNOW being transgender is very rarely a phase and I'm in no way trying to suggest that my experiences are in any way representative of the trans community.

Okay, so for January until beginning of March this year, I'd been seeing myself as a trans boy. I looked extensively into transition, told a couple of close friends to use he/him pronouns for me and really desperately wanted to be male. This is the bit that confuses me: I cried so many times about my female body, frequently got very very frustrated, to the point of banging my head against the wall, at how complicated getting to transition would be, and felt completely elated when others referred to me as a boy.

Then last month, my long term special interest (which fluctuates in intensity) on my teacher got re-kindled and as soon as that happened I felt totally okay with being a girl, still do, and lost all interest in researching my gender.

What on earth is going on? Was it a special interest? Has anyone else had experiences like this? It scares me how much I can delude myself.

(And ignore the 5 in the title. As you probably guessed, I am not five and neither is this the fifth post on this issue. My phone is just an idiot/I accidentally use my phone in an idiotic way.)

Well I was worried me being trans was a special interest too at first when I stopped researching, but it was just that when I had figured out I was trans I had no need for researching anymore. I know I'm trans, I don't have to think about it all the time. Plus, gender dysphoria can sometimes fluctuate, sometimes it's more intense, sometimes you don't even notice it. I'd say give it some more time and if you're still ok with being a girl in a month or so it might just have been a special interest.

Maybe half of the trans kids I've met/talked to their parents about always knew and never wavered. Another quarter 'realized' it during puberty. And a last quarter sort of flitted in and out of identifying with the sex other than the one assigned at birth. Maybe b/c they were actually neutral & had varying social influences, maybe b/c of negative social influences (ie repression). All but that last group simply *knew*. That does NOT make that last group any less legitimate!

And, that whole paragraph only concerned only those who had to transition, who were strongly driven to live not as the gender they were raised as.

They are a tiny percent (0.3-0.03) of the population. Most people simply fit in enough with their birth assignment that they identify with it, without issues. But that also means that there has to be a grey area in between that must be respected.

Also, around half of LGB people as children & young adults preferred cross gender play/social roles/appearance without necessarily identifying as the other sex.

And there are some who seem to be at odds with their body sex but not their gender identity. Usually (could be due to social pressure) they are women who identify as women but are very adverse to their own secondary sex characteristics.

There has to be room for everyone. Explore. Experiment. Fully expect your identity, you appearance, your gender roles to change and flux until you find a few you like. And yes, for some it flexes depending on who they love/lust/encounter. They too, are beautiful...