Serious issues with L&D Forum

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So I've noticed that the L&D forum has devolved and become almost worse than the P&R forum in terms of members fighting with one another.

I'm making this thread because I want suggestions as to how to create a more mellow atmosphere.

I think the majority of the problem stems from members on more extreme ends of the spectrum of beliefs who end up sparring. This includes men who seem to be super bitter about women and also women who seem to be super bitter about men. Both sides are to blame.

I do think the majority of members are actually not causing issues. It's just a small but vocal minority on each side. And the people that post moderate posts also get attacked by people on both sides.

Ideas?

Super bitter posts should be blotted out by posting pictures of cute cats.

Cats fix everything.

^Raleigh you are a riot.

Suggestion: a method to ban trolls, when sly took a break from WP the serial troll moved on to bully other young male posters, this created a lot of hostility towards women in general, and especially for new female members. It would help people to relax a bit more, knowing that bullies will be dealt with.

It would be good if sexist posts were at least dealt with. I'm not really that sensitive, but there's a point where I've had enough, and that guy crossed it.

Making an entire thread that is based on obvious sexist generalizations should not be allowed. It goes on entirely too long. I don't feel as if I can really even properly respond because it's otherwise a personal attack, also against the rules.

After being confronted about said posts, this person went to the Haven to complain to avoid having to deal with the consequences. I don't think that should be allowed either, considering that then no one can really criticise the remarks that were made.

Members who make bitter posts/threads time after time on the same subject ad nauseum should be warned/banned.

It's blatant trolling, which constantly brings the whole mood down and causes harm to other members.

It will forever and aways be a battle of the sexes here.
Everyone likes to be the hero in their own story and "win".
I suppose there are things you could do to quell the more asinine threads and comments:
1) People who gender/sex/sexuality bash, or bait the conversation into that direction (whether it be to "shame" someone for doing it, or to encourage people to do it) should all be punished equally. This will end the stupid who's right/wrong BS that's plagued this subforum for years.

2) Prohibit certain words and terms from being used in thread titles when making threads. Cut the head from the snake. If users can't make controversial thread titles it will maybe make some people rethink their decision into abusing the forum as a negative soapbox. A small message explaining why they need to change the title would go a long way into making people realise certain behaviour isn't welcome here.

The trouble is those kind of threads get the most views and replies.
Everyone loves a bit of action.

Maybe you could make a sticky to be used as a virtual boxing ring.
Warring members could be directed there to slog it out in there as much as they wish away from the general population.
But they enter at their own risk

You could call it "The Haters and Dateless Thread".

Maybe there could be a "time-out" thread - the only thread naughty L&D'ers can play in

It's not just sly though there are some that are as women hating but are able to fly under the radar. Often using humour.

Maybe stricter punishments or warnings.

Also was this female troll I've been hearing about that notorious and troublesome?

You'll need to create a special wp definition of sexism and make wp a censored site where people are afraid of posting I cause they miss word something slightly then get banned.

In a world will forgetting to use some or most equals sexism.

I don't think my posts are sexist but seems >few< Women here do because I don't remember to say most or some when I'm upset and trying to reply quickly

Maybe it's because I'm aspie but only when one says "all women" does one mean all women

I'd like to fight less and not feel on the defensive when I read and post in l&d

At one point a user here was accused of raping women because he kissed a girl without asking first. Men get called sexist because they come on here and vent about the women in their area and online who've acted a certain way.

When a woman complains about a guy most people side with her and call the guy bad. When a guy complains he's called sexist and they side with the woman. 0.o

Do guys not associate them selves in other guys as much? I dont know

If we're going start banning and blocking people what about the women and men who always accuse lonely men of only going after the highly attractive cheerleader types. Isn't that a stereotype of men only liking women for their looks?

I worry if we go down this rout quite a lot of long term regulars like me retro, boo etc will be banned.

All because we've lived different experiences then others and so our view of the world differed and they upsets others.

I dont know how to solve it to ther then we ignore their posts and they ignore ours. Doubt either of the sides will every see the way of the other. Much like the two sides of gun control or abortion.

Alliekit, harloom, Catherine, sweetleaf, and others have been nice and understanding toward us guys.

There's 3-4 women who seem to have a problem with us and few guys who side with them. And most them came here with a distrust of men which I'm sure is part of why they don't like the lonely men here.

Just to clarify I don't hate women and none of my post are about all women none. I was raised by women. My grandma, mom, sisters are women , my best friends were women. I get alone more with women.

I don't like how bitter the members who like to poke and prod me have made me

So on a mods advice I'm trying to just ignore their posts now.

Perhaps it could be explained clearly to some why their posts may be taken offensively by an unbiased moderator who isn't involved in the argument?

Certainly there are extreme views on both sides that need to be dealt with in order to make wp feel like a safer environment for all.

Or one could just be like the way your word it is upsetting me if you word it this way. I feel the reason people call me sexist is they don't like the word use or placement. Perhaps. Both me and my mom are aspies and we often fight despite saying or supporting the same thing because we say it wrong.

For me it's I say bunch/some/lots of women are this way and they say no women are that way and claim I say all women are that way. I get defensive at one being accused of saying all women when I didn't and having my experiences called non existent. I've offered to show them proof but they ignore it and continue accusing me.

It's a endless cycle and its Made me defensive and bitter

I got defensive towards alliekit because I thought she was doing the same

I don't think I can forgive myself for that. I only want to help people and make them happy. I never want to hurt people